


It Was Meant To Be (A James and Lily Story)

by rainasteele



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Hogwarts Seventh Year, jily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 64,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainasteele/pseuds/rainasteele
Summary: How did Lily Evans become Lily Potter? How did James Potter finally get the girl of his dreams? Follow James and Lily as they journey through their last and final year at Hogwarts. Filled with love, heartbreak, war, and violence.
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Original Character(s), Mary Macdonald/Original Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I truly apologize for my lack of updates on this story. I realized that a lot of the content is not consistent with the books and the movies. That's why I've decided to do a rewrite of the first few chapters (there won't be many changes, just a few small ones). This book is not my priority so I won't promise that I'll continue to update it regularly. However, I do love James and Lily's story and I will try to churn out updates when I have the time.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've copied some of these early chapters straight from Wattpad. Reading through them makes me cringe, but hopefully, they turn out better as my writing matures!  
> As a warning, the first few chapters are simply fluff (mixed with some truly horrible writing). If you just want to get to the meat of the story, I suggest you start reading at Chapter 7.

"Lily! Wake up! You need to get ready to go to King's Cross!"

Lily Evans woke with a start. She looked around her bedroom, sun streaming through her windows. A smile crept across her face as she realized it was the first day of her last year at Hogwarts. Even better, she would be beginning her final year as Head Girl!

Lily threw off the covers and went to take a shower. When she came back, her wet hair twisted into a towel, there was an owl tapping lightly on her window.

She walked over and let the owl in, tossing it a few treats before untying the letter on its leg.

_Dear Lily,_

_Please don't throw this letter away before you read the whole thing._

_I hope you had a great summer. I'm really excited to be going back to Hogwarts for our final year. I'm sure you made Head Girl. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, I have a surprise waiting for you when you get to the station._

_Yours Truly,_

_James Potter_

Lily quickly scanned the letter and threw it into the nearest trash can. She shook her head. James Potter always had a way of getting on her nerves.

A surprise? What kind of surprise would he give her? Probably another scheme to ask her out again. Lily sighed. She hated the way he acted around other people like he owned them or something.

"Lily! We're getting late! Are you ready?"

"Coming, Mum!"

Lily dried her hair, running a hairbrush through it. Her beautiful red hair rolled down her back in gentle waves. She grabbed her trunk and lugged it down the stairs.

"Dad! Some help, please?" she cried.

"Oh, yes! Sorry, Lily-flower." He ran up the stairs and grabbed her trunk while Lily grabbed her cat, Calliope, and a few spare books and quills.

"Lily?"

Lily spun around. She looked at her mother who had tears in her eyes.

"Mum! Why are you crying? What's wrong?" Lily asked, wiping away the tears.

"It's just... you're always gone. I barely ever get to see you. Plus, with all of the wedding preparations for Petunia-"

"Mum, listen to me. You know how much I love you. I promise I'll come home during Christmas to help you with the wedding. Mum, please don't cry when I'm leaving," Lily begged.

She hugged her mother and was about to leave when her mother called out, "Lily! Say goodbye to Petunia."

Lily groaned. She loved her older sister, but sometimes Petunia could be very rude and inconsiderate. She stomped up the stairs and knocked on her sister's door.

"Lily? What do you think you're doing?!" Petunia screeched.

"I just came to say goodbye. I'm leaving for Hogwarts today."

"UGH! Don't say the freak name of your school to me. And I'm glad you're leaving. You were always a burden to mum and dad. You- You're such a FREAK!"

Tears glistened in Lily's eyes. "I-I-"

"Oh, and Lily? Don't even BOTHER coming to my wedding. It'll be much more pleasant with you and your freakishness coming to ruin it."

Lily sagged her shoulders in defeat. Why did Petunia hate her so much? What had she ever done to her? She wiped the tears and pasted a fake smile on her porcelain face while she descended the stairs.

She hugged her mother and told her that she would be home for Christmas and left with her dad in the car.

As soon as they reached King's Cross Station, Lily bounded out of the car with her trunk and her cat. She kissed her father goodbye and gave him a tight hug before sending him on his way.

"Lily!"

Lily knew that voice anywhere. It was her best friend, Mary MacDonald. Mary had shoulder length blonde hair with light blue eyes that complemented her skin very well. She was the troublemaker, the one who always had a smile on her face, always willing to make anyone laugh.

"Mary! How are you? How was Paris?" Lily asked as she hugged her friend.

"Oh, it was amazing! I had a great time. Lils, congratulations on making Head Girl! I'm so proud of you!" Mary gushed.

"Did I hear Head Girl?"

Lily shrieked as she embraced her other best friend, Alice Prewett. Alice had wispy brown hair that was cut into a pixie cut. Alice was the sensible one who always knew what was the right thing to do. Standing next to Alice was her longtime boyfriend, Frank Longbottom.

"Yes! I'm Head Girl! Hullo, Frank." Lily replied as she shook hands with Frank.

"Congratulations, Lily," Frank said. Lily blushed.

"Oi! Evans!" Lily's bright green eyes darkened as she heard Sirius Black approach her.

"What do you want, Black?"

"Fiesty, are we, Evans?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Black..." she warned.

"Calm down, woman. Pro- er, Jam- erm, you have to go to the Heads Compartment to meet the new Head Boy and discuss duties with him."

"Oh, I'll see you later Mar, Alice, and Frank." Lily waved as she sprinted off.

"What am I? A piece of gum on the sidewalk?" Sirius questioned.

"No, but, you're pretty close," Mary replied as she went to find a compartment on the train.

Lily sprinted towards the front of the train and twisted the handle on the Heads Compartment. She desperately wanted to find out who the new Head Boy was.

Oh, I hope it's Remus.

As she pushed open the door, her jaw fell. Standing in front of her was a boy with messy black hair and hazel eyes. It was James Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked, angry.

"I- I'm Head Boy. See?" James pointed to the badge that was pinned to the front of his robes.

"But... You weren't even a Prefect!" Lily yelled.

"Uh, yeah. I guess Dumbledore made an exception." James said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Lily huffed and turned her back on him. Of all people, why did it have to be James Potter? James Potter was immature, arrogant, conceited, and worst of all, he was infatuated with Lily. Ever since their fifth year, James had always asked Lily out in some grand way, trying to win her attention.

"Evans?" James questioned, silently.

"What?!?" Lily snapped.

James frowned. "I think it's time to go to the Prefect's meeting."

"Hmph!" Lily stalked out the door.

"Evans! Wait!" James grabbed her wrist.

"Potter, let go!" Lily threatened menacingly.

"Lily. Please listen to me. Just this once." James let go of her wrist. Lily stopped.

James took a deep breath. "Lily, I'm really sorry for what I've done to you in the past few years, but we've got to put that behind us. We're going to be working together a lot this year and well, we've got to be on speaking terms. I know you're mad and angry that I got Head Boy, but it really isn't my fault. You can't act like this all the time. I admit that what I did in the past was inappropriate. But, that's the past, Lily. I like to think that I've changed. After all of those times where you called me arrogant, I tried to improve myself. Lily, we have to work together, we can't always be fighting. I truly don't know why Dumbledore gave me this job, but I'm willing to let it work. Lily, you're the one who is holding a grudge. For the sake of this position, can we be friends, Lily? Just friends?"

Lily looked at James in awe. For the first time, James was taking responsibility for his actions. He had apologized to her! But that still didn't change the fact that he was a bullying toe-rag. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Friends?" she asked, suspiciously.

"Yes, Evans, just friends. I've realized what I did wrong, and I'm doing my best to stop. But I could use a bit of your help." James said, tentatively.

"Did Remus put you up to this?" Lily joked.

James' eyes widened. "Of course not!" Lily looked at him pointedly. "Okay, maybe." he murmured.

"Well, Potter, I guess could give it a try. Friends." Lily held out her hand.

James let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Friends," he confirmed, shaking her hand. Internally, James was jumping for joy. He was finally doing something right with Lily. He was friends with Lily Evans.

"So," Lily asked as they were walking out the door, "what was the surprise that you were supposed to give me?"

"Oh... that. Um, the surprise was that I was Head Boy. But, I guess I kind of ruined that," James said, meekly as he ran a hand through his hair.

Lily laughed, a soft tinkling sound that sent warmth through James' body.

As they reached the Prefect's compartment, Lily straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. James bent down and whispered, "Don't worry about it, Lily. I have complete faith in you." Lily looked at him, surprised, and their noses brushed.

Lily blushed and James smiled at her. He opened the door for her and they both stepped in.

There was a collective gasp as whispers ran around the compartment. "Lily Evans and James Potter? Working together? That's a joke."

Lily stiffened and looked out of the corner of her eye at James. He nodded for her to begin. She looked around the room and locked eyes with Remus Lupin, who gave her a small nod.

"Good morning, everyone. My name is Lily Evans, I'm Head Girl and this is James Potter, my colleague. The role of a Prefect is a very important one. You will be allowed to give detentions to students who are acting out of line and will have a very strict patrol schedule here on the train and at school. Once we reach the castle, you will have the responsibility of escorting the first years to their respective dormitories." Lily looked at James. "Anything else to say, Potter?"

James nodded. "You have been given an immense responsibility by being named a Prefect. Your job is to be taken with serious integrity. You will be the role models for the school. Remember, you are allowed to take away House Points from students in your own House, but you will not be allowed to take away points from other Houses or Prefects. Also, during Christmas and Halloween and other school events, you will help decorate the Great Hall. Any questions?"

Lily was impressed. James Potter was really taking responsibility. James looked at her and winked. Lily averted her eyes and felt her cheeks grow hot.

A Hufflepuff Prefect raised his hand. "What's the password to the Prefect bathroom?"

James replied, "The password to the Prefect bathroom this year is 'pine fresh'. The bathroom is located on the fifth floor and the fifth door. This bathroom is only for Prefects and Quidditch captains. Do not invite any of your friends to observe it."

"You are all dismissed. Here are your patrol schedules for the train. We will get you the schedules for the corridors by the end of the first week. Thank you," Lily concluded.

As the Prefects filed out, Lily, James, Remus, and... Severus Snape were left. James frowned. Lily gulped.

"Lily, listen to me-" Snape began.

"The Prefect's meeting is over. Please leave." Lily pointed to the door. Snape looked at her in sorrow.

"Lily. It was a mistake! It slipped out!" Snape begged.

"A mistake? Really? I've seen who you hang out with. Ever since that incident with Mulciber, Mary has become a completely different person. You and your Death Eater friends have hurt her. I could never be friends with such a... disgusting person." Lily's eyes had become dangerously bright.

"Lily!"

"Snape," James growled, "I think Lily asked you to leave."

Snape's eyes narrowed with disgust. "Oh, shut it, Potter. Dumbledore must be out of his mind, making you Head Boy. You probably bought your position." Snape retaliated.

"Severus!" Lily yelled.

"It's true, Lily. I mean, he's rich enough. You know how much he bothered us. I mean, Lupin deserves it more than he does, but Dumbledore probably didn't want to give such a valued position to a lowly half-breed," Snape sneered.

James' eyes widened and he lunged for the front of Snape's robes.

"JAMES!" Remus shouted.

"I swear, Snivellus if you insult any of my mates again, it will not end pretty for you. And, yes, Dumbledore may be out of his mind to make me Head Boy, but remember, he chose ME, not you. That means I have authority over you. You had better get that inside your thick skull." James threatened.

He released his hold on Snape's robes and walked out of the compartment.

Lily watched him leave. She looked at Remus. "Go talk to him. Please. I'll take care of this." Remus nodded.

Lily sighed, turning her attention back to her ex-best friend. "I don't know how you found out about Remus, but you have no right, NO RIGHT to talk about him like that. He's a much better person than you are. I can't even stand to be near you right now." She spun on her heels and walked out the door.

Leaving Snape standing there, alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Lily released the breath she didn't even know she'd been holding.

As she walked back to the Head's Compartment, she couldn't stop thinking about James Potter. When had he grown up so much? Lily had always known that he was so damn loyal to his friends, but he had matured over the summer. He didn't hex Snape, even though he deserved it.

Lily stepped inside the compartment, tentatively. She had no idea what to expect.

But she definitely did not expect the sight in front of her.

All four of the Marauders (as they liked to call themselves) were huddled around James, speaking in hushed tones. Lily caught a few words like "Whomping Willow", "stag", "tunnel", and "branch", but she had no idea what they were talking about.

All of the sudden, Sirius shouted, angrily, "But you saved his life, Prongs! He should be thanking you!"

Remus turned his head and saw Lily standing in the doorway, his eyes widening. "Shut up, Sirius. Lily, I hope you don't mind that we're in here. We-"

Lily looked taken aback. "No, no. You're fine. I'll just go and see the girls." She moved to walk out of the door.

"Wait!" James' voice called out. Lily turned around slowly. "I-We have to ask you a question," he finished.

Lily came and sat next to Peter, a small mousy boy who tagged along with James and his group.

James took a deep breath. "Look, Lily, you have to promise not to tell anyone about what Snape said about Remus. And, well-"

"Relax, Potter. I've known since fifth year that Remus was a werewolf. It doesn't make any difference to me. He's still the same person I know and I don't blame him for anything. But, I promise I won't tell anyone." Lily reassured him. She smiled at Remus.

"Wait, you knew, Evans? How?" asked Sirius.

"She's more clever than we give her credit for, Sirius," James replied, knowingly.

Lily blushed. "If that's all, I'll be going. And, I apologize for Snape on his behalf. He was out of his limits." 

She walked toward Remus and gave him a hug. "You are an amazing person, Remus. Don't forget that. First and foremost, you are a person and a friend," she whispered in his ear.

"Thanks, Lily." 

Lily nodded and left the four friends to themselves. She found all of her friends sitting in a compartment, not too far away.

"Lils!" shouted Alice. She opened the compartment door for her friend.

Lily sat down next to Mary and closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.

"Tough day, huh?" smirked Mary.

"You have no idea," muttered Lily.

"So, who's head boy?" chirped Alice.

"James Potter."

"WHAT?" shrieked Mary and Alice.

"That means you have to share a dorm with him!"

Lily blushed. She had forgotten that Heads shared a dorm room... with only one bathroom. Merlin's beard, how was she going to survive this year?

"Hey Alice, I bet that Lily here won't last a week with Potter without hexing him. What do you think?" Mary's eyebrows were raised.

"I think that maybe we should have a bit more faith in Lily." Lily smiled at her friend.

"You know, he has matured over the summer. He was actually very civil today during the Prefect's meeting. And, he hasn't tried to ask me out yet!" Lily countered.

The train ride soon became a blur as the girls chatted about their respective summers. As they approached Hogsmeade, the village surrounding Hogwarts, Lily looked up at the lights of the castle and felt a surge of an unidentifiable emotion.

She was finally home.

Lily quickly gathered her luggage and followed Alice and Mary off of the train, looking for an empty carriage.

"Lily!"

Lily spun around as she heard a voice call her name and saw James sprinting up to her. She felt her heart speed up as he got closer. 

"Hey," he said, catching his breath.

"Hi."

"Um, so, I just wanted to say thanks for that thing with Remus. It really meant a lot to him." His hand flew to his hair as he ran his hands through it.

"Oh, um, yeah, no problem. It wasn't really anything."

Alice and Mary giggled behind her and Lily felt an urge to stomp on their feet.

"Hullo Prewett, Macdonald." James nodded at each of them. He gave Lily a quick once-over and walked away.

"Merlin, Lily, what was that?" asked Alice.

"Nothing. Forget about it."

The group of friends found a carriage and rode all the way up to the castle in silence. Once they were there, Lily entered the Great Hall and looked up. The ceiling was dark, with the occasional twinkle of a star. It looked so real, even though Lily knew it was bewitched.

"Lils, Professor Flitwick looks like he's trying to get your attention." Alice nudged Lily in her side.

Lily looked up and saw her Charms professor waving at her. She smiled affectionately at the small man who was one of her favorite teachers and made her way over to him, saying goodbye to her friends.

"Yes, professor?"

"Oh, Ms. Evans! Do you see Mr. Potter anywhere? Professor McGonagall asked me to take you both to your Heads Dormitories. Oh, wait, there he is. MR. POTTER!"

James turned around, confused. He saw Lily standing next to their professor and quickly rushed over to them.

"Yes, please follow me to your dorm."

James walked alongside their professor with Lily in tow. They stopped in front of the portrait of Sir Cadogan. James groaned. Sir Cadogan was known for challenging students to a duel at random times.

"Very well, now that the two of you are here. Let me show you the dormitory you will be sharing. Professor McGonagall has given me some rules for you to follow. Hm... now where did that list go?" the professor asked himself while checking his robes. He finally pulled it out triumphantly, "Aha! Here it is. Right, so, number one, you are not allowed to bring any of your friends inside without explicit permission from Professor McGonagall. Also, none of your friends may spend the night and they cannot stay past curfew. And the last one, no funny business!"

Lily blushed and willed herself not to look at James.

"Is that all, Professor?" James voiced from beside her.

"Ah, yes. The password is 'Wolf's Bane'. Good luck." The professor waved farewell and hobbled away.

James looked at Lily and he felt a tingling sensation in his stomach. Lily looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Well, are you two just going to stand there or are you going to give me the password?!" interrupted Sir Cadogan.

"Wolf's Bane."

The portrait opened and Lily's jaw dropped.


	4. Chapter 4

The dormitory was designed exactly like the Gryffindor Common Room. In the corner, there was a fire roaring, spreading a gentle glow about the room. There were two loveseats and a couch in front of the fireplace. There were two pairs of staircases leading up to each of their respective rooms.

Lily's eyes widened and she saw James doing the same thing. She bounded up the stairs to her own dormitory that had a red plaque that said "Lily Evans" in gold lettering. She pushed the door open and gasped.

Her bed was in the center of the room with two nightstands and a wardrobe to the side. There was also a neatly organized table for her schoolwork. Her trunk was already in the corner of the room. She saw two doors and opened one of them and saw that she was on a balcony overlooking the Hogwarts grounds. She could see the Quidditch pitch to her left and the greenhouses out in front of her. A few minutes later, another door opened and suddenly, James was standing next to her.

"Whoa." His mouth dropped, "Lily, this is amazing!"

"I know. It's beautiful."

James felt like saying, "Just like you," but decided against it. He was sure that Lily wouldn't appreciate it.

Lily's stomach growled and he turned red.

"Er, I think we missed the feast," he said.

Lily laughed. "Really? And how did you figure that out, Potter?" she asked, jokingly.

James ignored her comment and led her out of the balcony. "Are you hungry? I can get us into the kitchens if you would like."

"You want to get me in trouble as my first day as Head Girl?"

"What? No! That's not-I mean, you were-" James fumbled.

Lily laughed. "Never mind, let's go. Lead the way, Mr. Potter."

James and Lily walked down to the kitchens together in a comfortable silence, each immersed in their own thoughts. James was amazed at how easy Lily was to talk to when she wasn't yelling at him. Lily was surprised to see how much James had grown up and how easy it was to get along with him.

They arrived at the portrait of the bowl of fruit. Lily looked confused, but James reached out and tickled the green pear. They both watched as the pear squirmed, wiggled, and then transformed into a green doorknob. James grasped the doorknob and opened the door for Lily.

"After you," he stated simply.

Lily walked past him and took in her surroundings. It was almost as big as the Great Hall with stacks of pots and pans and a brick fireplace at the opposite end.

Suddenly, they were greeted by an array of house elves.

"Mister Potter!"

"Hey Squeaky," James replied.

"Who have you brought with you, Mister Potter?" asked the tiny house elf named Squeaky.

"Oh. This is my- erm- this is Lily Evans, she's Head Girl this year."

Lily stepped forward and shook hands with Squeaky. "Hi Squeaky. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Squeaky looked surprised. "Yes, a pleasure to meet you too, Miss Evans." She then turned to James, "What can we do for you, Mister Potter?"

"Well, Lily and I here missed the feast. We were wondering if-"

"Oh, yes! We would love to!" Squeaky exclaimed, cutting off James. All the house elves rushed off to their respective workstations.

"James, I feel bad. I mean, look at them, they're working so hard. You know, I'm not even that hungry." Lily confessed.

"Lils, relax. They enjoy it. Come, let's sit down." James reassured her as he led her to a nearby table.

Soon, they were greeted with the sight of delectable food. James helped himself to a few helpings mashed potatoes and steak while Lily took the healthy route and took some spoonfuls of salad. They both had sloshing glasses of butterbeer.

"Cheers to our last year!" James exclaimed as he held out his glass to Lily.

"Cheers!" Lily replied, smiling.

After they were well-fed, James and Lily stood up to leave. James grabbed a few treacle tarts, his favorites, while Lily rolled her eyes at him.

Lily bent down and gave a tight hug to Squeaky and thanked her for all their help. Squeaky blushed and awkwardly patted Lily on the back.

"Goodbye Squeaky!" James shouted as he and Lily left the kitchens.

"That was definitely one of the best feasts I've had at Hogwarts!" Lily admitted, laughingly.

"Yeah, for once I didn't have to deal with Sirius or Remus," James replied.

"I think Remus was glad HE didn't have to deal with you and Sirius."

"Lily! You wound me!" James gasped, clutching his chest.

"Shut up, Potter."

They rounded the corner to their dormitory and bid goodnight to each other as they went into their respective bedrooms.


	5. Chapter 5

Lily awoke to the sliver of sunshine peeking through her window. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Picking up her alarm clock, Lily discovered, with a start, that she was late.

She threw her covers aside and made a beeline for the shower. She grabbed her robes and toothbrush and opened the door to the shower without thinking.

"AAH!"

"MERLIN!"

Lily widened her eyes at the sight in front of her: James Potter wearing nothing but a towel tied smugly around his hips.

"I... uh... I'm just gonna... I'm really sorry," Lily awkwardly stuttered. She resisted the urge to stare at his well-defined torso.

"Whoa, Lily. It's okay I was just about to leave," James replied, "You're late by the way."

"I know, you idiot. Why do you think I barged in here looking like a crazed cat?" Lily retorted angrily.

James chuckled quietly to himself as he left the bathroom.

"And you're late too!" Lily shouted after him. He waved his hand dismissively in response.

Lily rolled her eyes and proceeded to get ready in record-breaking time. She glanced at her watch and realized that she'd have to skip breakfast as well.

"Ah well, I'll just catch up with Mar and Alice at lunch," she signed.

She grabbed her bag and checked her schedule for her first class.

Charms with Professor Flitwick

She felt a flood of relief as she didn't have to worry about being late to Charms-- Flitwick loved her.

Moments later, she entered the Charms classroom and immediately spotted Mary and Alice. She quickly filled in the empty seat next to Alice.

"Lily! We didn't see you at dinner or breakfast... we were worried," Alice gushed.

"Yeah, we thought Potter had taken you hostage," Mary sarcastically replied.

"Speaking of Potter, how is he?" Alice questioned.

"He's not bad... we actually went to get dinner from the kitchens last night. And I had to skip breakfast because I woke up late. How's our dormitory? Miss me?"

"Absolutely not. We're actually glad we have a roommate who doesn't snore," Mary joked.

"I do not snore!" Lily exclaimed.

"Okay class, let's settle down. Welcome back to Hogwarts! As seventh years, you will have a lot on your plates this year. Especially with NEWTS coming up, I expect that everyone here does their best and focuses intently on their studies. For Charms, here is your NEWT-level curriculum."

Flitwick waved his wand and immediately, stacks of parchment flew over to each student.

"What is this? We have to know all of this in one year?" Mary questioned, staring at her 48-page packet.

"Yes, Ms. MacDonald and you will be responsible for covering most of it on your own," Flitwick answered.

The class groaned in disgust.

The rest of their classes went by in a similar manner. Each teacher stressed the importance of their NEWTS and then handed out ginormous packets of the curriculum. 

"Ugh! When will this year be over? Can I drop out now?" Mary groaned.

"Mar-"

"Well, MacDonald, I can help take some of that weight off of your shoulders, if you know what I mean."

Mary spun around and narrowed her eyes at the sight before her. Sirius Black stood with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. He gave a sly wink to Mary.

"In your dreams, Black," Mary retorted.

"Oh, you don't want to know about what goes on in my dreams," Sirius replied.

"Can we not hear about your sexual desires in the hallway?" Alice asked. Lily laughed.

"Why? Do you feel like you're missing out? I'm sure Longbottom wouldn't mind," Sirius winked.

"Okay, Black, that's enough," Lily interjected, seeing Alice turn red with anger.

"Ah, Lilypad, I would never say anything to you. James would have my head if I did."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Goodbye, Black."

As Lily, Mary, and Alice walked into the Great Hall for dinner, they spotted three empty seats next to Frank. Alice pecked him on the cheek and sat down next to him. Mary and Lily shuffled in after her.

"Hey, Lily, Mary." Frank nodded to each of them in turn.

"Hi, Frank! How were your classes?" Lily asked while filling up her plate. She happened to glance out of the corner of her eye at James and saw him piling food onto his plate. She smiled inwardly before focusing her attention back to Frank.

"They're good... I just can't stand Potions with Slughorn. How was I supposed to know that you have to stir anti-clockwise seven times if it isn't in the textbook? How do you do it, Lily? You're amazing at Potions," Frank questioned.

"I guess I just have a natural talent," Lily bragged, jokingly.

Mary hit her on the back of her head. "Shut up, Lil. I hate you."

Lily laughed and finished her dinner. She bid goodnight to her friends and raced back to the Head Dormitories. She had a 3-foot essay on the dangers of Amortentia that she wanted to get a head start on.

She climbed into her room and saw that the bathroom door was open. Her face flushed as she remembered the morning's events. She hastily closed the door and got out her parchment, quill, and textbook.

She didn't know where the time went, but she slowly realized how tired she was. She yawned loudly but kept working diligently.

At ten past nine, James strolled into their dormitory, exhausted. Sirius had just finished telling him about all of the people who had asked about Quidditch tryouts. James groaned. Great, another thing to add to my growing list of worries.

He looked toward the staircase and saw Lily's closed door. He sighed. Maybe he would just say goodnight to her before he turned in for the evening.

He knocked softly on her door. "Lily?" No response. James tried again. No response. He slowly opened the door and saw Lily dozing off on her piece of parchment with her quill held loosely in her hand. Her hair had fallen out of its makeshift bun so that strands of her auburn hair framed her face. She looked so serene, so beautiful.

He crossed the threshold into her room and walked over to her. He put her quill and parchment away (he noticed she had started working on her potions essay. Of course, he thought) and hesitantly stood over her. He gently picked her up and carried her over to her bed. She was surprisingly light and James smiled as he realized how snugly she fit into her arms. He laid her on her bed and pulled her covers to her chin. He looked down at her for a moment and he could feel his heart speed up.

James walked over to the door, turned around and whispered, "Night, Lily." Then he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, James rushed out of the dormitory as fast as he could. He wanted to avoid any awkward interactions with Lily regarding last night. He hoped she didn't think too much about how she "magically" moved from her desk to her bed.

James sat down next to Remus in the Great Hall and began piling his plate up with as much food could fit. He glanced sideways at Remus and saw that the dark shadows under his eyes were more pronounced and was surprised to see how sickly pale his friend looked.

"Moony," he whispered under his breath, "you okay, mate?"

Remus gulped and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I-I'll be fine, Prongs. Are you sure that you can make it for tomorrow night?"

"Remus, I'll always be there for you. You know that, right?"

"Thanks James. I don't know what I would do without you guys."

"You would probably be some lame bloke who wished he had a friend as handsome as Sirius Black," a voice spoke up behind them. James didn't even have to turn around to realize who it was.

"Shut up, Sirius. We all know I'm the handsome one of the group," James retaliated.

"Right, and I'm the Minister of Magic," Remus said, rolling his eyes. He was used to this sort of witty banter, but what none of them could see was the warm feeling that was flooding through his veins. He had always thought that his condition would leave him, alone, without anyone to talk to, much less, friends like James, Sirius, and Peter.

"Oh and Remus, if I hear any more of that I'm not good enough talk, I'll smack you so hard you won't be able to walk for a month," Sirius warned.

James smiled and looked up to see the rush of owls delivering the morning post. A brown tawny owl dropped a copy of this morning's Daily Prophet in front of Remus. He placed a singular Knut into the pouch on the owl's leg and opened the paper just as Peter walked up behind them.

"Mornin'," Peter said as he grabbed a plate.

"Morning, Peter," Sirius clapped him on the back, "Remus, anything worth worrying about in there?"

Remus looked over the top of the paper at Sirius and narrowed his eyes. "Of course there's something to worry about, you fool. People are dying, Sirius. They're dying because some crazy bloke thinks people like you and James are better than me."

James, Sirius, and Peter stared silently at Remus as he went back to reading the paper. Remus had never spoken about their blood status in such a manner. With James being a blood traitor and Sirius being disowned by his maniac pureblood family, James had always considered all of his friends as equals. But now, he had begun to catch a glimpse of what life was like for those who weren't as privileged as he was. His mind jumped to Lily but was interrupted by Sirius.

"So, Prongs, Quidditch tryouts? Both Taylor and Williams asked me about it today and I think you should set a date soon."

James knew he was right. He couldn't spend all of his time worrying about his Head duties with Lily. "Fine, I'll post a date for the tryouts later tonight in the Common Room."

Their classes flew by quickly, mainly since none of them were really paying attention. He caught a few glimpses of Lily throughout the day but ducked his head down to make sure they didn't make eye contact. He was dreading going back to their dormitory. He was sure that it was an irrational fear, but this new friendship with Lily was so fragile, he didn't want to do anything to ruin it.

At long last, after spending as much time with his friends as he could, he grudgingly made his way back to the Heads Dormitories. He stopped in front of the portrait of Sir Cadogan, hoping that he would be able to stall some more.

"Wolf's Bane."

"Huh? How dare you disturb my peaceful sleep? Duel me and we will see who turns up the victor!"

James wondered how one could duel a portrait, but he simply said, "Just let me through."

The door swung open and James wearily walked inside, prepared for nothing.

"Potter! Where have you been? We have so much work to do!" James looked up and saw Lily surrounded by a massive stack of papers, her fingers smudged with ink.

"I'm sorry... what?"

"We have to create the schedules for the patrols! Have you already started to slack off? I knew I was going to have to do most of the work myself, but this is our second day! I should've known it anyway. Where were you? You know what? I don't care," she massaged her forehead and left small stains of ink, "Just let me finish this in peace."

"Evans! I told you on the train that I meant to take full responsibility for my actions and this position. And I meant it! Just because you think you're so high and mighty doesn't mean I won't do my share of the work. I'll admit that I forgot, but at least I'm here now! Tell me what I have to do!" James could feel his temper rising.

Lily narrowed her eyes and stood up. "What do you mean 'you think you're so high and mighty'? I have spent hours working on this and you come prancing in here like you own the place! If you think you can do it better than I can, go ahead, help yourself. I'm done." She threw her quill down and picked up her schoolbag from beside her.

"Fine!" He pulled the chair out, sat down, and began sifting through all the papers.

Merlin, this is complicated.

He stared at Lily's handwriting wishing that the words on the page made sense. He rubbed his temples slowly. Suddenly, he felt a small hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Lily pulling over a chair. She gave him a half-smile and sat down next to him.

"Sorry," she whispered. He looked at her gratefully.

"Well, two Heads are better than one," he joked.

In the dimming candlelight, they worked together through the night, arranging, rearranging, and finalizing. They worked quietly and found how easy it was to work with the other.

Halfway through the night, at around two in the morning, James instinctively reached out toward a mug he saw on the edge of the table and took a sip. His eyes bugged and he spat out the drink. Lily jumped, startled.

He looked inside the mug at the murky liquid swimming in the cup. "What the hell is this?"

Lily glanced at him sideways, "It's coffee. And it's bloody amazing. Oh, and that's my mug by the way."

James frowned and put down the mug. "Why can't you just drink tea like the rest of us Englishmen?"

"Because I'm not like the rest of you Englishmen."

James sighed and resumed his work. He would never fully understand Lily Evans. But, he was okay with that.


	7. Chapter 7

Lily awoke the next morning with a raging headache. She and James had stayed up for the better half of the night working out the schedules and she had barely gotten two hours of sleep.

She didn't know what to make of James. She had begun to see a side of him that she had never known before. Or maybe she hadn't cared enough to notice. She felt different around him. It was as if all of her worries vanished when she looked up at his hazel eyes.

She shook her head to clear it of her thoughts. She had more pressing matters to deal with... which included getting to breakfast on time for once.

When Lily was finally ready, she grabbed her schoolbag and shoved in her Potions essay and textbook. She sighed as she felt the familiar weight of her bookbag settle on her shoulders.

As Lily entered the Great Hall, she sought out her friends. Mary was sitting across from Alice and Frank, rolling her eyes at something Alice said.

Mary looked up and locked eyes with Lily.

"Ah, look who finally made it to breakfast on time. Her Highness, Lily Evans everyone." Mary made a bowing motion with her hands as Lily sat next to her.

"Ugh, please not today, Mary. I'm not in the mood," Lily groaned. She rubbed her temples to soothe her headache.

"Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?" Alice joked. Lily ignored her.

"Oh. my. god. Why does James Potter look like death?" Mary questioned. Confused, Lily looked at what-- or rather who-- she was staring at.

James walked into the Great Hall slowly, yawning a little. He looked miserable. There were dark shadows under his eyes. Probably from the lack of sleep, thought Lily. His face was paler than usual and his shoulders were hunched as if he was carrying the weight of the world on them. As he approached the other Marauders, he slumped into his seat and propped his head on his hands.

"Lily! Did something happen last night between the two of you? Neither of you looks like you've had any sleep," Mary smirked.

"What? No! Of course not! We were just up rather late working on the Prefect's patrol schedules." 

Mary raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Mhmm, okay Lily."

Lily opened her mouth to retaliate, but Alice interjected, "So, Lils, I know this is probably gonna stress you out more, but there's this fourth year who needs help with Charms and I was wondering if you would be able to help her out."

"Don't worry about it! I'd love the help her. What's her name?'

"Dorcas Meadowes. She's super sweet and I'm sure you two will get along fittingly. I'll let her know that she can meet you in the library tonight? Around eight?"

"That works for me, Alice. Thanks."

\----------------------------------------------------------------

"James, you don't have to come tonight if you don't feel like it. I'm sure Moony would understand," Sirius was telling him.

"No, Padfoot, I'm fine. I'll be fine. I've never missed a full moon and I don't plan on missing one now. Where is Moony anyway?"

"He's resting in our room. He wasn't feeling well this morning," Peter replied.

James looked up at him. "Are you sure he's alright? I can stay with him."

Sirius rested a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Prongs. Wormtail and I are taking shifts to look after him. We'll see you tonight, though. Meet us in the usual place."

James nodded and gulped down his orange juice. He rushed to Transfiguration as Sirius went to go find Remus.

James could barely keep his eyes open as his professors continued to lecture. In fact, he actually made the mistake of closing his eyes for two seconds in Transfiguration.

THUMP!

James woke with a start and saw Professor McGonagall looking down at him and his classmates staring at the pair of them.

"Mr. Potter, please enlighten us on how you were planning on taking notes on the back of your eyelids?"

"Sorry, Professor. I won't happen again, I swear."

"Mr. Potter, may I remind you that this is a NEWT level class. I'll be taking five points from Gryffindor for your inability to pay attention. I suggest you get a good night's sleep tonight."

James groaned.

Later that night, he met up with Sirius and Peter. They were carrying Remus between them, who looked awful.

Remus had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His entire face was sallow so he looked like he hadn't eaten in months. His hair was disheveled, making him look much older than he actually was.

"Moony! You good?"

Remus groaned in response.

James unfolded his invisibility cloak, an item that had been passed down in his family for generations, and covered Remus with it. When they were younger, all four of them would be able to fit underneath the large cloak. However, as they had grown, the cloak couldn't cover them all. They each took turns hiding under the cloak with Remus.

Sirius grabbed Remus' arm and slung it over his shoulder. James adjusted the cloak so that only the bottom of their feet could be seen.

James and Peter began to walk on either side of Sirius as they found the side exit towards the Hogwarts grounds, the Whomping Willow directly ahead of them.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi! Are you Lily Evans?" A skinny girl with dark brown hair approached Lily. She had deep blue eyes and a round face.

Lily turned and gave the girl a smile. "Yes, I am. Dorcas, right?"

"Yep. I talked to Alice and she said you could help me with Charms?"

"Of course, let's find somewhere to sit and I'd love to help you with whatever you need."

Lily led Dorcas to a quiet corner of the library. She loved this table because it gave the best view of the grounds and the Dark Forest. She could see the Whomping Willow right in front of her and the moon's reflection on the lake.

"So what can I help you with?"

"In class, we just started talking about..."

Almost an hour later, Lily looked out the window and sighed, sleeplessness catching up to her. Her eyes roamed over the grounds and came to a stop when she saw two figures, highlighted by the moon's glow. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized who it was.

What was James Potter doing on the grounds at this time?


	8. Chapter 8

"I apologize, Dorcas, but I'm afraid I'll have to cut our session short. Something just came up," Lily said, hurriedly, as she began to pack up her things. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted James and Peter making their way across the grounds.

"Oh! I'm so sorry if I did anything..."

"Oh no! It wasn't you. I'm just really very tired as I didn't get much sleep last night. I'll meet with you tomorrow night. Is that alright?"

"Okay. Thank you so much for all your help, Lily."

"No worries, don't mention it," Lily replied as she sped past Dorcas into the hallway.

"Excuse me! Sorry! I'm so sorry!" she yelled as she ran down the corridor, her hair coming loose. She stopped to catch her breath before resuming to run down the stairs to the Great Hall.

She opened the door, feeling the cool night air. She looked around, wildly, trying to seek out James in the dark.

"James!"

Silence.

"James?"

There was no one there. Lily frowned. She was sure she had seen him. She turned on her heel and strode inside, the heat enveloping her once again.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

James helped Sirius set Remus down on the rickety bed in the Shrieking Shack. He looked at Sirius and nodded. 

Just moments later, there was a black dog standing in Sirius' place. 

"Hullo, Padfoot," James grinned, before turning into his Animagus, a stag.

He felt the familiar tingle start at his toes, moving to his head. His entire body was filled with warmth as he began to change shape. And then, it was over. Standing in his place, was a stag.

James loved transforming into his stag form. The feeling was indescribable; it was as if someone was taking all his worries and draining him of them. He felt free and blissful. The war, the inequality: it all felt like a distant dream. 

However, all of that faded when he heard the familiar scream that signaled the start of Remus' painful transformation. James glanced at Sirius and they both made their way towards where Remus was lying.

Another scream tore through the air and James began to see Remus' face morph into a wolf-like snout. Fur began to sprout and covered his whole body. As human turned to wolf, Remus let out a howl and began to sprint. He ran out of the shack and into the Dark Forest, James and Sirius closely behind him.

That night, it seemed Remus was also glad to be back home. Usually, the first transformations of the school year help Remus release all of his pent-up energy and tonight was no different. He roamed each and every corner of the Dark Forest, with James and Sirius by his side. 

And, that was when it happened. They were being careless, really, when Remus surprised them. He turned around and leaped toward Sirius, for some unknown reason. James saw him crouch and quickly knocked Sirius out of the way as Remus came down on him. He sidestepped but was caught by a singular claw that ripped through his flesh.

James grunted and he could barely see anything through the haze of pain. Sirius looked at him, concerned, but James waved him away. Remus was more important, anyway. 

As quickly as it had begun, it was over. Remus was lying on the floor, unconscious. 

When James finally walked through the portrait hole to the Head's Dormitory, exhausted beyond belief, he was surprised to see Lily on the couch, fast asleep. He was unsure why she would be up at this time. Was she waiting for him? James shook the thought out of his head.

He gently shook Lily awake. "Lils, hey, you should go sleep in your room."

Lily slowly opened her eyes, still exhausted. She seemed to register who it was and she quickly jumped up. "James! Where were you? I swear I thought I saw you on the grounds with Peter, but that didn't make sense. So I went to the Gryffindor common room and no one had seen you there either." She glanced at his face, "Are you alright?"

James gulped. Even though an unknown warm feeling flooded his veins, how was he supposed to explain what happened? He had sworn to his friends that no one should find out about their Illegal Animagi, but Lily wasn't just anyone. He saw Lily staring at him so he cleared his throat.

"Erm- well, you see, actually, tonight was the full moon, so we were waiting in the hospital wing for Remus so that we could see him. Sorry if we had you worried, but it's what we do to help him cope with his transformation." James sighed. That was a plausible explanation. He hated lying to her, but it wasn't his secret to tell. 

Lily's eyes grew wide. "Of course, I'm so sorry. I must've been hallucinating or something from my lack of sleep. I hope Remus is alright. Anyways, you look awful, you should try to get some sleep before classes tomorrow." She placed her hand on his arm, frowning when she noticed him wince.

She furrowed her brows. "James, what happened to your arm?" She reached for his arm, but he twisted out of her reach. 

"It's fine. It's nothing, actually. Just a scratch," he said, pulling his sleeve to cover the wound.

But nothing escaped Lily's notice. "Potter, let me see it." As James opened his mouth to protest, she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her. 

"Let me see."

She gingerly raised his sleeve and took a sharp intake when she saw how big the wound was. She looked up at him, thousands of questions waiting to be asked when green met hazel. James looked away as Lily led him towards the fireplace. 

"Wait here, I'll be back," she told him as she ran towards her dorm. She returned moments later with her wand and a small first aid kit. 

She murmured a spell under her breath and he immediately felt the pain dull. She lifted his sleeve and sighed, getting to work. She pushed him into a chair and began to clean his wound. She frowned as she noticed dirt in the wound, but decided not to mention it. She could tell that he was exhausted and she too wanted to get in bed soon. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she knew that was a conversation better left for another day.

James watched her, speechless, as she worked. She was just something else. Her red hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her deep green eyes were focused on his arm as she worked efficiently. She dabbed some ointment on his wound and covered it with some gauze. She was mesmerizing and it seems the exhaustion was quickly wearing him down. And, it was so warm in the room...

Lily wrapped the final bandage around his arm, eager to get some sleep. She looked up at him, ready to speak, but he was fast asleep. She studied him silently, watching his chest rise and fall with quiet breaths. His hair was a mess, like always, but even more so tonight. She leaned over and picked a leaf out of his hair, turning it over between her fingers. She decided that the exhaustion was muddling her brain and concluded that she needed some sleep. She took off James' glasses and placed it on the table next to him.

"Accio Blanket," she murmured and placed the blanket over him.

She silently bid him goodnight and walked up the stairs to her own dorm. She turned off the lights and snuggled into her covers, falling into a peaceful sleep with a small smile gracing her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

James groggily opened his eyes and stretched his arms above his head, feeling a crick in his neck. He squinted, trying to take in his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was Lily... bandaging his wound? He lifted his sleeve to see that she had indeed finished wrapping it. He twisted his arm and reached toward the bandage trying to see the damage underneath.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

James jumped. In front of him, he could make out Lily's figure. She was leaning against the doorway with a mug in her hand. She walked toward him, set her mug on the table in front of him, and handed him his glasses. 

"Ah, much better. Thanks Lil."

Lily smiled at him, but he noticed there was a certain hardness around her eyes. James knew that her brilliant mind wouldn't rest until he'd answered all of her questions, but how could he do that?

"James, look, I know this whole friendship thing between us is new. I mean, we were pretty much enemies for almost six years. Anyways, I want you to know that I don't expect you to trust me right away, but I can't _not_ know what happened. So, whenever you feel up to it, whether it's tomorrow or years from now, I'd really like to understand."

James gaped at her. How was she so perceptive? He sat up and looked straight into those beautiful green eyes of hers.

"Lily, I take this friendship seriously, I promise. And when I'm ready to talk about it, you'll be the first person I tell. It's just that-"

Lily held up her hand. "James, I don't need any excuses. I just needed to know that someday, you'll tell me."

James nodded as Lily quirked an eyebrow. "I still haven't gotten my thank you for saving your life yesterday."

James rolled his eyes. "You did _not_ save my life. It was just a scratch."

"Mhmm, keep lying to yourself." She checked her watch. "By the way, classes start in half an hour so I think you should take a shower. You stink."

"I do not!" James said, defensively. Lily shook her head and made to leave the room. 

"Oh, and Lily, thanks for the blanket."

She looked over her shoulder and waved her hand dismissively. "Whatever, James."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the first week of classes came to a close, Lily couldn't contain her excitement. So much was going on in her life from Head Duties to classes to James. He had definitely matured, but he was keeping secrets from her. How could she trust him under those circumstances? 

Every time she saw him, they had pleasant conversations, but there was always this feeling nagging her. James knew that something was bothering her, and he had a pretty good idea of what it was. However, he never said anything, which bothered Lily to no end. 

This weekend was just going to be about her. She would get her thoughts straight and focus on her schoolwork. She was going to push James and his secrets out of her head. She needed some time to relax and focus on herself. She smiled.

"Lils, why are you smiling? We just started our NEWT year and we're going to be swamped. I already have an Astronomy paper due on Monday," Mary complained.

Lily smiled at her. "Oh, my dear Mary. It's the weekend, nothing could make me happier. I can spend my afternoons relaxing and forgetting about this mess of a week."

Alice snorted. "I just think you can't wait to read Marlene's letter and tell her about how James is being a pain in the arse."

Marlene was Lily's role model and mentor. Marlene had also been one of the top students in her year and had graduated with flying colors. When she had graduated two years ago, she told Lily her dream of fighting Dark Wizards and was currently training to be an Auror. 

Lily and Marlene could talk for hours about anything and everything. She was the older sister that Lily wished she had. Marlene was the one to comfort Lily when Petunia had excluded her once again. Marlene was her rock when she stopped being friends with Snape. Marlene was always there by her side when James was being particularly annoying. 

When Marlene left Hogwarts, Lily was devastated. Who was going to look out for her? Who would she be able to share her deepest fears with? Lily knew she had two amazing friends in Alice and Mary, but her relationship with Marlene was so different. So, after Marlene had left Hogwarts, they developed a system. Every weekend, they would send letters detailing _everything_ that had happened to each other. Both of them lived busy lives, so they wanted to make sure they kept in touch. 

Lily ran up to the Head Common room, ignored Sir Cadogan's taunts, and threw her schoolbag on the couch, without looking. 

However, it made contact with a certain James Potter.

"Oomph! Lily, I'm a human being here!" he called behind her.

Lily ran up the stairs, ignoring him. "Not now, James! I have things to do!"

Lily opened the door to her room and quickly sat at her desk. She pulled out a fresh piece of parchment, dipped her quill in a new bottle of ink, and began to write. 

_Dear Marlene,_

_How are you? I hope your Auror training is going well!_

_I MADE HEAD GIRL!!! I was so surprised because I never imagined I would be Head Girl because I'm muggleborn and there were obviously so many better choices, but I love it so much. But, you'll never guess who made Head Boy. JAMES POTTER. Can you believe it? Of all the people Dumbledore could have chosen, he chose the ONE person who I can't stand._

_I'm so happy to be back at Hogwarts, even though I feel somewhat sad because I'm going to be leaving it so soon. I wish I could just stay here forever. It's my home and I have no idea what I'm going to be doing in the future, which scares the shit out of me. How did you do it? How did you know you wanted to be an Auror?_

_Anyways, my first week has been so crazy. On top of all my NEWT coursework (I'm taking five NEWT-level classes: DADA, Transfiguration, Potions, Charms, and Ancient Runes), I have to deal with James Potter. And let me tell you, it's not easy. My classes take up so much of my energy, but then I have to come back and deal with James._

_Don't get me wrong, James Potter has definitely matured. He doesn't ask me out every five seconds, and he's actually nice to talk to. Since we're Heads, we've decided to put our past enmity behind us and try to be friends. It's actually worked out pretty well, except for this one incident._

_So, one night, I was tutoring Dorcas Meadowes in the library and I see James Potter on the grounds. And I'm confused because why was he out there? Anyways, I go out to the grounds, but he's not there. I go to the Gryffindor Common Room to see if anyone has seen him, but no one has. So, I walk up back to my dorm, and wait for him, because I'm so sure that it was him out there. He walks in two hours later, looking like hell. I ask him where he was and he gives me some excuse how he was inside the castle. Then I notice this cut on his arm and it's fresh, but surrounded with dirt. I bandage it up for him, but I'm still confused. If he was inside the castle, how did his cut get dirt in it? I understand that we haven't been friends for long, but I think that I deserve an explanation, I was worried! James told me that I would be the first person to know once he felt ready to tell._ _It's so aggravating, not knowing what's going on._

_So yeah, that's what's been on my mind this whole week and I can't even focus on anything else._ _I miss you so much, Marls!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

_PS: Tell Adam to move up your wedding date! I can't wait to see you._

Lily smiled as she finished her letter with a flourish. Adam McKinnon was Marlene's fiancé and was training to be an Auror alongside her. 

She gathered her letter to go send it. Suddenly, her cat, Calliope, brushed against her leg.

"Sorry, Callie, I need a Hogwarts owl to send this. I promise you can send my next letter." Lily said as she rubbed her cat.

She rushed down the stairs and out the door without a backward glance. 


	10. Chapter 10

Lily rushed to the Owlery and addressed her letter to Marlene. She chose one of the school owls and tied the letter to its leg. She watched as it flew off into the night.

She walked back to the Heads Dormitory, lost in thought. She barely noticed the person in front of her until she almost collided with him.

"James?"

"Lily?"

He was studying a piece of paper in front of him and looked up when he saw her in front of him. He waved the piece of paper in front of him, "Just picking up the list of people who want to try out for Quidditch. Sirius gave me a copy. Are you going back to the dorm?"

"Yeah, I was just sending a letter. When are you holding tryouts?" She asked as they began to walk together.

"Sunday. It's going to be a mess," he muttered, massaging his forehead.

Lily laughed. "I'm sure it'll be great. I don't care as long as we crush Slytherin this year."

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

In front of James and Lily stood one of Hogwarts' most notorious Slytherins, Bellatrix Black. Standing behind her was an assortment of other Slytherins including Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Evan Rosier, Trevor Mulciber, William Avery, and Jack Wilkes. Off to the side stood Snape, which didn't surprise Lily.

"What do you want, Black?" Lily asked.

"What was Dumbledore thinking --making a blood traitor and a mudblood, Heads of the school?" Bellatrix sneered.

"Don't call her that!" James roared.

"James," Lily placed her hand on James' arm, "Let's get out of here." She eyed Snape warily.

"Lily I-"

"Ah, of course. It's just like the _mudblood_ to want to run away from a fight. What a coward. Where's that infamous Gryffindor courage?" Bellatrix taunted.

Next to her, James' face twisted. She didn't know why, but suddenly, she was filled with red-hot anger. "You know what, I'm tired of running away. I'm not afraid of you and your cronies, Black. It actually seems like you're the coward, eight against two."

"Impressive, it'll be nice to spill some mudblood blood right at the beginning of the year," Bellatrix smirked.

James smiled cruelly. "Yeah, it'll be nice to slice up a few Death Eaters, don't you think, Lils?"

"Hmm, let's see what you got." Bellatrix mused, "Fight them, you twerps."

Lily didn't know who shot the first curse, but suddenly, she was thrust into a full-on duel. She backed Avery and Wilkes into a corner and began to shout spell after spell. On the other side of her, she could hear James shouting spells left and right.

" _Petrificus Totalus!"_ she yelled, aiming her wand straight at Wilkes, who froze, ram-rod straight.

" _Stupefy!"_ shouted Avery, but Lily sidestepped his curse and sent one of her own right back.

 _"Depulso!"_ Avery crashed against the wall, knocking his wand out of his hand. 

" _Ventus!"_ Lily aimed her wand at his wand, blowing it away from reach.

She looked around and she saw Snape hidden away in a dark corner. She sought out James, trying to block curses from Mulciber and the two Lestrange brothers. 

" _Defodio!"_ yelled Mulciber. Lily recognized the gouging spell and aimed her wand at Mulciber and cast the Jelly-Fingers curse. Mulciber fumbled around and dropped his wand, and James quickly flung aside the curse.

" _Expelliarmus!"_ Mulciber's wand flew out of his reach, into James' outstretched hand. He looked at Lily and winked. 

" _Incendio!"_ Rosier shouted, somewhere to her left, and Lily saw the flames burst out of his wand. She knew she didn't have enough time to move away, when she was knocked to the ground. She looked up and saw James patting out the fire on his sleeve. He reached down to her, but she quickly aimed her wand over his head, " _Stupefy!"_

He looked around and saw Rabastan Lestrange on the ground behind him. Lily quickly clambered up and aimed her wand at Rosier while James took on Rodolphus Lestrange. 

" _Flipendo!"_ Lily yelled, but Rosier blocked her. 

She counteracted with a Stinging Jinx, which made its mark. Lily smiled as she conjured a blindfold over Rosier's eyes. She cast another spell, " _Expelliarmus!"_ , and grabbed his wand.

She heard a satisfying thud as Rodolphus went down beside James. They both rounded on Bellatrix, wands out. 

She sneered at the pair of them. "Well, well, well. It looks like Dumbledore' pets have been taught well. But I bet you can't go up against me."

"We don't need to. We beat you and you know it. Leave us alone." James lowered his wand and looked at Lily.

"No no no, remember I said I wanted to spill some blood. I don't make false promises." Bellatrix made a slashing motion with her wand and Lily gasped as she felt blood spilling out of a cut on her cheek. She lifted her hand and it came away bloody.

James saw Lily's fingers soaked in her blood and he saw red. He rounded on Bellatrix and shot curse after curse. Bellatrix laughed and parried away each one of them. Lily grabbed her wand and prepared to blast a curse at Bellatrix, but suddenly her wand was whisked out of her hand. She looked around and saw Snape had caught her wand. 

"Lily, I don't think you should get involved. It's not your fight."

Lily narrowed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. "Give me my wand back, Snape."

Severus felt her words sting but kept his grip on her wand. "I can't. Lily, you should leave before you get involved."

"I don't think you understand. I was always involved and I will always be involved because I'm a mudblood, right, Snape? You said it yourself. I'm not going to leave James alone."

Severus was filled with anger when she said _his_ name. James Potter was her sworn enemy. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Lily," he said before casting his _Langlock_ spell.

Lily's eyes widened as she felt her feet go stiff. 

"Here's your wand Lily. Catch it if you can," Snape said, as he threw her wand towards her. It landed a few feet away from her. Snape slinked back into the shadows.

Lily grunted and was forced to watch as James battled Bellatrix. She struggled to get out of Snape's spell and reach her wand, but she had no practice with wandless magic. She squirmed and tried any countercurse she knew, but to no avail. 

She watched as James tired in his duel with Bellatrix. He was trying, but she was too powerful against him, using spells he dared not try. He was forced on the defensive side and continued to fight her off, casting an offensive spell when he had the chance. 

"Enough playing. Show me you have the guts to fight dirty, Potter."

"I'll never stoop to your level, Black."

She laughed, her maniac laugh echoing against the walls. Lily tried to move her feet, but she was frozen. No, she couldn't be useless while James was fighting this lunatic. She willed her wand to her, but nothing happened. She concentrated everything she had and yelled, " _Accio Wand!"_

She wand flew to her hand and she performed the countercurse on herself. She felt her legs again and turned to James, but she was too late.

" _Crucio!"_ yelled Bellatrix.

"No! _Protego!"_ Lily yelled as she tried to block the Unforgivable Curse.

The two spells knocked into James, throwing him to the floor. His wand rolled out of his hand and his entire body went limp.


	11. Chapter 11

"James!" Lily shouted as she turned to Bellatrix.

"Enough! This is enough! I'm taking fifty points from Slytherin for this unnecessary violence. You got what you wanted." Lily gritted her teeth, anger flooding her veins.

"Oh my dear Evans, how pathetic you must be that you have to beg for me to stop. But I'm glad you found your place. You will always be under us purebloods. Tell your precious boyfriend that." Bellatrix sneered and walked away, Snape trailing behind her.

Lily ran over to James. His eyes were closed and his hands were outstretched. His cut from earlier that week had begun to bleed again and there was a trail of blood from the corner of his mouth. She shook his entire body.

"James, wake up! _Rennervate!"_ she said, trying to revive him.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. He squinted, and a pain erupted behind his eyes. He could taste blood in his mouth. "Urgh."

"Oh, thank god," said a voice above him. He knew that voice.

"Lily?" He could barely make out her silhouette above him.

"Yes, it's me, you jerk. You scared me to death." She said as she hit his shoulder.

"Ow!" he groaned, as he tried to sit up. The pain in his head was blinding.

"Whoa, take it easy. Are you sure you're okay?" Lily questioned.

James opened his eyes fully and his hazel eyes sought out her green ones. He studied her face quietly. Sweat beaded her forehead and she looked on the verge of tears. He frowned as his eyes skimmed over the cut on the side of her face. He reached up and traced his thumb over her gash, stopping when she sucked in a breath.

She slapped his hand away. "I'm fine. We should get to our dorm, it's getting late."

"Lily-"

"We should go, James." She stood up and offered him her hand. He grasped it, groaning as she pulled him up. He felt light-headed and closed his eyes to stop the feeling of dizziness. He held his head and tried to regain his balance.

Lily gasped and pulled his hands away from his head. He opened his eyes in confusion and saw his hand covered in blood.

"Oh shit," he murmured.

"James, we should get you to the Hospital Wing. You don't look so good," Lily piped up beside him, still holding his hands.

"No. Just get me to our dorm," he grunted.

Lily released his hands and slung his arm around her shoulder and helped him to their dorm.

"Who goes there? How dare you interrupt me? Let's duel!" challenged the portrait of Sir Cadogan.

"Not in the mood. Wolf's Bane," Lily said.

The portrait swung open and Lily rushed James to the couch. She summoned a glass of water and gave it to him to drink. He gulped it down and slumped against the couch. Lily sat next to him and took the glass from his hand, lost in thought.

"I guess we got some pretty big targets on our backs, huh?" James asked her.

"What?"

"I mean, Dumbledore making us Heads made a pretty big statement. I'm a blood traitor and you're muggleborn. We pretty much rule the school," he smiled and nudged her.

Lily frowned. "Yeah, actually about that. James, I don't think we should hang out as much anymore."

"What? Lily, what are you talking about?"

"I just don't want what happened tonight to happen again. It's just easier if we keep some distance for a while."

"Lily, did Bellatrix say anything to you?"

"No, not exactly. She just reminded me that, well, you're pureblood, James. You're safe. You can keep living your life. Bellatrix only holds a grudge against you because you're associated with me."

James blinked at her. "Lily, Bellatrix does not hold _grudges_ against people. And yeah, you're right, I'm pureblood. But what difference does that make? I'm supposed to treat you as inferior to me because you have muggle parents? Lily, that makes no sense. You're smarter than me and all the other purebloods I know."

"James, it's not about that. I just-"

"Lily, let me show you something."

He grabbed her bloody hand and laid it next to his own blood-soaked hand. "I'm a pureblood and Bellatrix calls you a... _mudblood_ ," he painfully gritted the word out, "but our blood is the same. All blood is red, Lily. Nothing about you makes you inferior. We're equal. And I'll fight anyone who thinks otherwise."

Lily looked at him, her green eyes pooling with unshed tears. James' heart constricted as a few tears rolled down her face. She wiped them away quickly.

"James, you're delusional. You hit your head too hard or something. Let me go get something to help you," Lily said as she turned away.

James grabbed her hands and clutched them in his own. His hazel eyes bored into her green ones. "Lily, I need you to understand that I'm not saying this just to make you feel better. I truly believe it and that's why I'm going to fight till my last breath in this war."

She smiled weakly at him and nodded. She went to go get her first aid kit, his words still ringing in her head. Her heart had warmed at his words. She knew that even if James Potter had annoyed her to no end in her younger years, his conviction never wavered. If James Potter believed something, he would show the entire world and never back down.

She returned and sat next to him on the couch. He turned toward her and she began to work. She grabbed his chin and cleaned the trail of blood from the corner of his mouth. She willed herself not to look at his lips, afraid she would lose all self-control. She continued to clean the wound on his head, bandaging it up. She then moved to the cut on his arm, her mind remembering the events associated with it. She cleaned it and re-bandaged it.

"There, all done," she said and went to put everything away.

James put his hand over hers. "No, we're not done. Look at me," he said, as he brushed her hair aside.

He grabbed a piece of gauze and cleaned the gash on her cheek. Lily could feel his breath on her cheek as he worked, eyes focused. She watched his fingers gently rub ointment onto her skin and glanced at him while he worked. He had a crease between his eyebrows and his nose was scrunched up in concentration. Her eyes traveled down to his lips but she looked away quickly. What was happening to her?

"Ok, there. I think I did it right. It's as if tonight never happened," James smiled at her.

"Nothing could ever make me forget tonight. You should get some sleep, James." She stood up to leave.

"I don't know about you, Lils, but there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight."

Lily turned around and looked at him. "Neither am I. What are you gonna do?"

"I was going to sit here, but I'd like some company." He looked at her, hopefully.

"James, I don't think-"

"It's ok. I understand. Good night, Lily."

"On second thought, what the hell? I have nothing better to do." She said as she sat down across from him.

He smiled at her, but then his eyes widened. "Oh shit, Sirius is going to kill me."

"What, why?"

"I lost the list for Quidditch tryouts," James said, sheepishly.


	12. Chapter 12

Lily awoke to a tapping sound on the window. She opened her eyes and groaned as her sore muscles protested any movement. 

"Where is the snooze button on that noise?" groaned James, sleepily.

Lily realized that they must have fallen asleep while talking last night. He was on the couch across from her and turned away from her. Lily got up and walked over to the window, where she found the Hogwarts school owl, with a letter attached to its leg.

Lily shrieked. "It's here!" She clutched the letter in her hand.

"Goddamn it, woman. Some people are trying to sleep. What time is it?" James asked.

"Shut up, Potter." Lily sat down on the couch and tore open the envelope and unfolded the parchment.

_Lily,_

_It's so good to finally hear from you! I thought you had forgotten about me._

_Auror training is going well. Our supervisor, Mad-Eye Moody works us to death, but I absolutely love it. I know I'm going to make a difference in the lives of wizards and witches. It's a scary world out there, but I like that I'm doing something useful with my time. It's a great profession, Lily, and I seriously think you should consider it._

_Lily, I am SO PROUD of you for making Head Girl. You are the only person I can think of that truly deserves it. You being muggleborn has no influence on Dumbledore's decision. You are a talented young witch and a hell of a leader too. I would be surprised if someone else made Head Girl instead of you. As for Head Boy, I have faith in you, Lily. You may hate him, but he's a natural leader too. I think both of you will do amazing, as long as he behaves himself._

_My goodness, Lily. FIVE NEWT-level classes... are you trying to kill yourself? Of course, I expected nothing more from my little protegé. You should focus on your classes instead of complaining to me about James Potter._

_From what you've told me, it seems like he must be maturing, but if he's hiding things from you, he's not worth it, Lily. Don't get caught up into the façade that he puts out._ _If he can't tell you where he got a simple cut, how can you trust him to be on time for your meetings or do all of his duties? Lily, you know he's just interested in asking you out. You deserve someone better, someone who trusts you and who you trust as well. Tell me if I'm wrong, but if James Potter is lying to you, stop wasting your time with him. I just want the best for you, Lily._

_Give my love to Alice and Mary, too!_

_Missing you,_

_Marlene_

_PS: Adam thinks that making me wait as long as possible is not a big deal, but it's torture! Convince him so that I can see you again._

Lily frowned as she read the last paragraph of Marlene's letter. She didn't know how, but her feelings for James had changed last night. She realized that he really had matured and she was ready to trust him. She would wait for him to tell her whenever he felt ready, she owed him that much.

"Is everything alright?" James asked, sitting up from across her.

"Huh? Oh yeah, everything's fine. Will you excuse me? I have something I need to take care of." Lily threw down Marlene's letter on the table and ran up to her room to quickly write a reply and set the record straight.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

_Marlene,_

_I want to tell you something because I feel like I might have given you the wrong idea about James._

_Last night, we were attacked by a bunch of Slytherins and it was bad, but he was there with me, so I guess it wasn't so bad. I'm fine, just got a scratch, but he wasn't so lucky. I actually thought something serious had happened. He's fine now, but the whole ordeal really scared me. James was there for me, though. He explained his viewpoint to me and he basically told me that he would fight for me until he died._

_I know that he lied to me, but I think it was for a good reason. I told myself that I'm willing to wait for him to tell me whatever he needs to tell me. He saved me from a particularly nasty curse yesterday._

_I told you that he had matured, but I realized that he was always mature. He's been a fighter and a strong leader. He's Quidditch captain for a reason. It's complicated, but I think I've finally come to respect James Potter._

_Anyways, I might have come off strong in my last letter, but last night changed everything. I needed to tell you because I don't want you to think he's a bad person or anything._

_Also, I have faith in you! You are going to be the world's best Auror when you graduate from the Academy! You're an inspiration, Marlene. Thanks for being amazing._

_Missing you more,_

_Lily_

Lily finished her letter but was interrupted by a loud knock on her door. "Lily? We need to talk." James' voice floated through.

She opened her door and saw a very angry James Potter. 

"What the hell is this?" he questioned as he shoved a piece of paper in her face. Lily grabbed the paper from his hand and recognized Marlene's letter.

"You read my letter?" Lily asked, looking up at him.

"How the hell was I supposed to know what it was? All I know is that you looked worried and you rushed out of the room." 

"Still, you had no right."

"Oh, I'm glad I read it. I realized what a hypocrite you are, Lily Evans," James accused. 

"What are you talking about? Can you calm down for a second?"

"Calm down?!?!? Calm down!? I can't believe you told her Remus' secret! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone. You talk about trust, but you are the most untrustworthy person I've ever met." He ran his hands through his hair, frustratedly.

Lily could feel her temper flare, but she kept it in check. "James, I didn't tell anyone anything. What's going on?"

"HA! Wow, lying to my face, that's rich. You wrote to her about my cut, so you must've told her that I was in the Hospital Wing with Remus during his transformation. You'll do anything to prove I'm a horrible person."

Lily's green eyes flashed. "I didn't tell her! I wouldn't lie about that. _You_ were the one who read my letter when it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"It is my business because all she could talk about was how James Potter is not 'worth your time'. You know what, maybe _you're_ not worth my time." He turned around to leave.

"You come back here, Potter! Don't you try to pin this on me. This is _your fault!"_ Lily poked her finger into his chest. 

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah because I read your stupid letter. I actually thought you had better things to do than complain to people about how I'm a liar and you can't trust me."

"I don't know why you're so angry! Did you think that saying some nice things would make me forget what happened? Did you expect me to fall at your feet? You disgust me!"

"Yeah and maybe you should 'stop wasting your time' with me. I'm done, Evans. I hope you don't get 'caught up in the façade' that I put out. You know, I'm just interested in asking you out all the time. That's why I've done it so often this year!"

Lily felt her eyes prickle with tears. "Not everything is about you, Potter! I can't believe I actually believed you when you said you were going to change. You're just the same arrogant prick I met six years ago."

"I _did_ change! But maybe it's my fault because you just like toying with people. It's all a game to you, Evans."

This time, the tears did fall from her eyes. She scoffed and went back into her room.

"Oh yeah, go run away. That's all you're good at, running away from your problems!" James called out after her. 

Lily grabbed her schoolbag. Her gaze fell to the unsent letter on her desk. She crumpled it up and stuffed it deep into her schoolbag. She went back to face James.

"Here! Take this, since you enjoyed reading it so much." She slammed Marlene's letter into his chest and ran down the stairs, tears flowing steadily from her eyes. 

"Where are you going? Are you going to find someone you can trust?" James yelled behind her.

"I'm getting away from you because I can't stand to look at your face. Find someone who actually cares about your bruised ego," she yelled at him as she slammed the portrait hole door behind her.


	13. Chapter 13

James could still feel the blood roaring in his ears as he watched Lily slam the door behind her. He looked at the letter in his hand, his insides boiling at what Marlene had said about him. He actually thought he was making progress with Lily, but he realized that he would always be the same arrogant, bullying toe-rag to her.

He huffed and crumpled up the offending letter in his hand. He was going to push Lily Evans out of his head. He ran his hands through his hair and left the Head Dormitory. He needed to talk to Sirius, Remus, and Peter about what he had just found out.

As he entered the Gryffindor Common Room, his eyes traveled to his friends who were sitting in a corner near the fireplace. James walked over to them and sat down with an angry huff.

"Jamesie! What happened to your face?" Sirius asked, looking at James' bandages. "Not that it looks any different."

"Yeah, Lily and I had a run in with a couple of prospective Death Eaters last night," James responded, sighing.

"What's on your mind, James?" Remus asked, with concern.

"I'm sure it has something to do with a certain redhead we know so well," Sirius interjected.

James scowled at Sirius, trying to get his thoughts straight. "She's so frustrating, argh! One minute she's smiling at me and everything's fine. The next we're biting each other's heads off over some stupid letter."

"What letter?" asked Peter.

James threw Marlene's letter in the center of their circle. Sirius went to pick it up, but Remus shoved his hands out of the way and picked it up. He eyes skimmed over the letter and he looked back up at James.

"James, this is-"

"Lily's letter, yeah I know. She got it this morning. She looked so bloody worried while reading it, I thought something had happened."

Remus handed over the letter to Sirius. "So you read her letter? Then what?"

"I mean, you read it! Apparently Lily thinks I'm untrustworthy and I have ulterior motives!"

"Well, you do have ulterior motives," Sirius quirked.

"That's irrelevant! She told your secret, Moony. That much is obvious."

Remus frowned. "How do you know that? I don't think Lily's the type of person to-"

James snatched the letter out of Sirius' hands. "Right here. It says 'If he can't tell you where he got a simple cut...' I never told her where I got that cut from the other night during the full moon. I guess she went off and told people your secret because she was angry at me. I knew we couldn't trust her."

"James, don't you think that if she had told my secret, this Marlene would have more questions about that than whether or not Lily should trust you?" Remus questioned.

James waved his hand dismissively. "I don't know and honestly, I don't care. All she cares about is proving that she's better than me, anyway."

"James, you and I both know that's not true," Remus responded, calmly.

"Whatever, I don't want to talk about her anymore. Sirius, do you have another copy of that Quidditch tryout list? I seem to have lost mine."

"Maybe you should postpone tryouts. At least until you got this thing with Evans sorted out," Sirius said.

James frowned, eyes darkening. "Can you just do what I asked for once?" he asked, exasperated.

"Ok, sheesh, don't get your knickers in a twist."

The rest of the day progressed with James' mood darkening increasingly. He snapped at Remus when he wanted to borrow James' Transfiguration textbook. He growled at Sirius when he tried to steal bits of his lunch, almost punching him in the nose. Poor Peter got the worst of it, though. He had bent down to pick up a quill that James had dropped and made to give it back to him. James narrowed his eyes at Peter, snapped the quill, and flung it back at Peter, who flinched.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

James awoke on the day of tryouts with a sour mood, his temper boiling when he remembered the fight he had with Lily yesterday. He hadn't seen her all day yesterday, but honestly, he couldn't muster the strength to even care. She had made her decision when she sent that letter and James felt no remorse at how he had reacted.

As he reached the locker rooms, he pulled on his Quidditch gear, his mind now focusing on his passion for the sport. He had just made Quidditch Captain this year after Jess Jacobs graduated. He was determined to win the Cup this year, but he knew it would be difficult because along with his former Captain (and fellow Chaser), he had also lost a Beater and a Keeper.

Since there were three positions to fill, almost fifty people had signed up to try out and James was not looking forward to the painful prospect of rejecting most of them. He looked around at the rest of his team who were also getting ready to hold tryouts.

Chris Taylor was the team's Seeker, and a damn good one, too. He was a sixth-year and due to his commitment to the sport, James intended to make him Captain after he left. Lina Williams was a fifth-year, who had just joined the team last year. She was a strong Chaser and James knew he could rely on her to complete every pass she made. Sirius, of course, was the team's Beater. When he actually focused on the game, Sirius was actually a pretty good player.

"Gather round, folks," James told his team as they headed out to the pitch. The stands were filled with people, mainly prospective players as they chatted amicably with one another. Not many people came to watch House tryouts, but he could see Remus and Peter at the top of the stands.

"Ok, so here's the plan. We have three positions open: Keeper, Beater, and Chaser. We'll run drills first, just to weed out the people who obviously can't fly. The plan is to cut it down to around fifteen people. We'll split up and run separate tryouts. Sirius will work with the Beaters. Lina, you're gonna head up the Chaser tryouts while Chris works with the Keepers. Any questions before we begin?"

"Nope, Captain. Though, I am hoping we can recruit another girl. I'm drowning in testosterone here," Lina commented, playfully.

James laughed, while Chris nudged her. Sirius winked at her before whispering, "Am I not good enough for you, Williams?"

"Sod off, Black."

James walked over to the foot of the stands and whistled loudly to grab everyone's attention. "Alright! Thanks for coming out, but we have a really long day ahead of us. As you can see, there are a _lot_ of you guys trying out for three positions. That being said, _most of you will not make the team_. However, everyone will get a fair chance to prove themselves. Here's the plan: first, we'll run basic drills with everyone. After that, we'll take a break and narrow down the list to about fifteen people. Those people will then run position-specific drills with a member of the team. At the end of the day, we'll make a decision on who made the team."

James watched the prospects as they followed Lina around the pitch. She had them practice basic maneuvers such as weaving, rolling, and flying laps. James narrowed his eyes at a few second-years who were shaking so badly from nerves, they almost lost their grips on their brooms. James sighed, and pushed his hair back from his face. _This is going to be a long day_ , he thought.

Eventually, though, he was able to pinpoint a few players who showed some promise. He gathered everyone up and announced his decision to the players. "If I haven't called your name, I'm very sorry, but unfortunately, you haven't made the cut for the team this year. Of course, you are more than welcome to try out for the team next year. If I did call your name, grab a quick drink of water and then line up with the player I match you with. If you are trying out for Beater, go stand with Sirius. If you're trying out for Chaser, go stand with Lina. And lastly, if you're trying out for Keeper, go stand with Chris."

The rest of the afternoon, James focused on the fifteen players who he had shortlisted. He could definitely see the players that showed potential. He spied Lucas Thompson, a fourth-year, who had managed to block every Quaffle that Chris threw at him. For Chaser, Anya Wilson looked promising, but she flinched every time the Quaffle came towards her. The Beaters, however, were a completely different story. None of them were able to match Sirius' power and aim with the Bludger. James groaned as he saw Sirius become impatient with the lack of talent.

Finally, James signaled his team to wrap up their individual tryouts. He formed a small huddle with them in the center of the pitch.

"So, what do you think? Anyone, in particular, stand out?" James asked his team.

"Thompson is definitely a strong Keeper. No one else blocked as much as he did," Chris piped up.

"I agree. Is everyone good with Thompson for Keeper?" Everyone nodded.

"Ok, that's good. Lina, what do you think about the Chasers?"

She furrowed her brow in thought. "I dunno. No one was exceptional. Albin was downright awful and Sutter just gave me a headache because he wouldn't stop talking. Wilson was definitely better, but she gets a bit flustered."

"Wilson it is then unless we have another choice," James voiced. His team nodded in assent. "What's the situation with the Beaters, then, Sirius?"

"They're all so god awful. Do I have to pick?" whined Sirius.

"Come on, they couldn't have all been that bad. That one bloke, the one with the Cleansweep, he didn't seem half bad," James offered.

"Oh yeah, I guess he's alright. Isaac Coalson," Sirius conceded.

James went over to the waiting players. By this time, the sun had started to set, casting an orange glow across the pitch. The temperature had dropped slightly, and James could feel the cold pinching his nose.

"Thank you all for coming out. We've made our final decisions. Lucas Thompson for Keeper. Anya Wilson for Chaser. And, Isaac Coalson for Beater. I'm sorry we couldn't take all of you, but I'd be more than happy to talk with you individually and help you figure out where you need to improve. If you made the team, stay back so we can finalize the practice schedule. Other than that, thanks again for coming out." James ran his hands through his hair.

He gathered up the new recruits and faced his new team. "Coalson, Thompson, and Wilson, congrats on making the team. We still need to work hard if we're going to win the Cup this year, but I think it's possible. We'll have practice Saturday mornings and be ready to sweat," James said, half-serious, half-playful.

As they trudged back to the locker rooms, James decided to head straight towards the Heads Common Room. He murmured a quick goodnight to Sirius and patted his back affectionately. As he walked through the portrait hole, he noticed Lily working on some essay. She looked up as he entered, her green eyes widening. James had completely forgotten about their row, but he could feel the anger boiling through his veins as he looked at Lily.

She stared at him for a good minute before he looked away, breaking their eye contact. He huffed, not bothering to greet her, as he walked up the stairs to his room, slamming the door behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

Lily was fed up.

It had been almost another week since her fight with James and both of them refused to acknowledge the other. Lily didn't understand it. She had done nothing wrong. In fact, he was the one who read her letter and accused her of telling secrets. She didn't need to defend herself though since he was the one being unreasonable. What hurt her the most was the fact that he thought she would tell Remus' secret, even after she explicitly promised not to.

Lily huffed as she continued taking notes in Charms, her mind replaying the other fight she had. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought back to her encounter with the Slytherins. She unconsciously ran her thumb over her cheek, feeling the faint scar there, properly healed. Mary had been furious when she saw the scar, while Alice stroked her hair and rebandaged the wound.

She remembered Snape, the cold look in his eyes. She could see the shell of the friend he was, but he had grown to someone she didn't recognize. He had stopped her from fighting for what she believed in. He had stopped her from fighting the bigotry of Bellatrix. Lily's jaw tightened when she recalled how helpless she had been. He had thrown her wand away from her and she barely reached it in time to help James.

Lily was so lost in her thoughts that she barely registered her name being called.

"Miss Evans! I just asked you a question," informed Professor Flitwick.

Lily swiveled her head toward her teacher, a blush rising through her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Professor. Would you please repeat the question?"

"What factors determine the duration of the effects of a hex?"

"The efficacy of the spellcaster countered with the strength of the target," Lily answered flawlessly, and her green eyes brightened as an idea began to take shape in her head.

"I suggest you pay proper attention, Miss Evans. Your NEWTs will be upon you before you even know it." Flitwick scolded, while Lily gulped.

When Flitwick dismissed the class, Lily told Mary and Alice that she would meet up with them later and approached Flitwick's desk.

"Professor, I apologize for not paying attention in class, but I have a favor to ask you," Lily began, cautiously.

"Of course, Miss Evans. How may I help you?"

Lily took a deep breath. "Professor, I wanted to ask you to teach me how to perform wandless magic."

Flitwick raised his eyebrows. "Miss Evans, that is-"

"I know, it's advanced magic. But I want to learn. I'm muggle-born, Professor. I need to be able to defend myself against the people who think I don't deserve to even hold a wand. I promise you, I won't ask for much. Just something simple, like the Summoning Charm, just so I can get my wand. I just want to defend myself," Lily pleaded, her eyes boring into her professor.

Filius Flitwick looked at Lily Evans. Sure, she was intelligent, but he had also noticed how kind she was. She always helped her fellow classmates with a particularly difficult assignment, patiently guiding them through the movements. He hadn't realized how much she had grown over these seven years. He remembered her as a first year, her bright green eyes in awe as she learned how to levitate a feather. She was Muggle-born, but she was one of the most capable witches he had ever met.

He finally looked over at his pupil. "Yes, of course, Miss Evans. I will help you."

Lily beamed, her smile reaching her eyes. "Oh, thank you so much, Professor Flitwick. I won't let you down!" Lily answered, bounding out of the classroom.

\--------------------------------------------

Sirius walked through the corridor, heading nowhere in particular. Sometimes, he just walked around the castle, aimlessly, trying to make sense of the thoughts in his head. He wanted to explore every inch of the castle, and he really wanted to memorize every bit of the place that he considered home.

However, tonight, he realized he wasn't alone. He saw a silhouette and a flash of red at the end of the corridor and walked closer to investigate. With everything going on, he surely didn't expect to see Lily Evans.

She was sitting on the floor at the end of the corridor, her back against the wall, her head leaning against the stone. Her eyes were closed, but he could see the stream of tears flowing from her eyes. She held a piece of paper in one hand and her other hand was in a fist, her nails digging into the skin of her palm.

Sirius approached her slowly, unsure of how to talk to her. "Evans?"

Her green eyes snapped open and she relaxed a little when she saw him. She hastily swiped the tears off of her face. "What do you want, Sirius?" she asked, wearily.

He made a split-second decision and joined her on the ground, his arms wrapping around his legs. He looked over at her and noticed how tired she looked. "How long have you been here?"

Her shoulders sagged. "I have no idea, and honestly, I don't care. As you can see," she gestured to her face, "I'm not exactly having the best day." She leaned her head against the wall again and closed her eyes.

"Do you mind me asking what's on your mind?" Sirius asked, hesitantly.

She looked at him again, clearly surprised. His grey eyes were looking at her with concern. She was not expecting Sirius Black to be interested in her pathetic excuse of a life. She had always been close to Remus, considering they were both very similar. She had also helped Peter with some of his work, but Sirius? Sirius and she were so different, it was hard to imagine he would care. When she looked at him, she remembered the boy she had met almost seven years ago on the Hogwarts Express and how much he had changed.

She laughed bitterly. "My life is basically one big hellhole filled with self-entitled prats. Currently, though, my sister is the one who's being insufferable."

Sirius had heard rumors of how Lily and her sister did not get along, but he didn't really care about it back then. Now, he could see it was really taking a toll on her. "What's she done?"

Lily let a few more tears slip before she regained her composure. "I don't know if I'm being stupid, but she's my sister and I love her, I do. Sometimes, I wish it were easier though. She hates magic and she told me she didn't want me to come to her wedding. I think my parents talked her out of that idea, but I just got a letter from her and she told me that I'm not a bridesmaid. I mean, I didn't expect anything grand, but I'm her _sister_! And I'm not this petty, but I actually thought we would be able to get over this stupid feud." She was angry now, and she crumpled up the letter in her hand.

"Lily, you're not stupid," he told her.

"Argh! I'm Head Girl too, I'm not supposed to be weak and crying about some wedding drama. I just hate that there are so many things I _can't_ control! I'm muggle-born and James won't even look at me and everything's falling apart," she buried her head in her knees, "I don't deserve to be Head Girl."

Sirius was flabbergasted. "Evans! Listen to me, you're not weak or stupid. And if anyone deserves to be Head Girl, it's you. And forget about your sister. If she can't realize how strong you are, she doesn't deserve your tears."

Lily looked at him, sideways, her head resting on her knees as he continued, "I'm sure you know about my blood-cleansing obsessed family, but I don't think I've ever told you about my brother. Reg and I were pretty close when we were younger, but as I grew, I realized that my parents were full of shit. We argued, and eventually one day, I couldn't take it anymore and I ran away. I left Regulus behind with those heartless bastards and I hate myself for it every day. I can only hope that he doesn't turn out like them, but again, he's his own person and he's responsible for his decisions. I have no control over him, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him."

Lily gaped at him. "You- you ran away? Where did you go?"

Sirius smiled. "The only other place I felt safe: James' place." He watched as she squirmed under his gaze, her eyes fixed on the floor. "You know, he's not a bad person, Lily. He worries about us because that's who he is. He may be stubborn and arrogant, but he's also loyal beyond measure. I'm sure he mucked it up somehow, but I would trust him with my life. You just have to get to know him."

"Sirius, I'm so sorry. I had no idea-"

"Don't be," he said as he pushed himself off of the ground. He offered his hand to Lily. "I think that's enough self-pity for one day, don't you think?"

Lily took his hand and smiled. "Thank you for this. But, there's something I have to do."

"Go get him, Evans!" he said to her as she began to walk away.

"Shut up, Black!" she retorted, not looking back as the turned around the corner.

\--------------------------------------------  
When Lily walked into the Head's Dormitory, James was standing at the counter, a mug in his hand, staring absentmindedly out the window. He turned to face her, his eyes darkening a little.

"I left the new Prefect schedules on the table," he mumbled as he headed for the staircase, placing his mug on the counter.

"Wait! Don't go," she said, still rooted on her spot.

"What do you want now, Evans?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. Lily cringed at the use of her surname, but she continued nevertheless.

"I just wanted to tell you that I didn't tell Marlene Remus' secret. I wouldn't do that to him. He's my friend too, you know. I was just frustrated and Marlene's everything to me, I tell her everything. But, I can't do this anymore, James. I'm sorry I wrote that letter, but I won't apologize for telling secrets because I never did that." Lily said, her chin raised.

James took a moment to study her. Her eyes were slightly red as if she had been crying. Her red hair had been shoved into a ponytail, some strands coming loose. She was wringing her hands, but her posture was straight.

"Lily, I guess I've been kind of a twat," he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You think?" Lily asked, a small smile gracing her lips.

"I just worry about him, you know. I think, deep down, I knew you wouldn't do that, but I just felt this need to protect him. I'm sorry I read your letter, though," James admitted.

"Well, I'm glad that's over with. Now, what did you say about this Prefect schedule? Let's go see how many mistakes of yours I'll have to correct, shall we?"

"Oh, Lily, when will you learn that I don't make mistakes? I'm bloody perfect." James joked with her, slinging an arm around her shoulders as they made their way into the Common Room.


	15. Chapter 15

As September came to a close, James began to feel the stress of the workload he had taken on. He was taking six NEWT-level classes: Transfiguration, Charms, Defense, Potions, Arithmancy, and Astronomy. Along with his classes, Quidditch was taking up the majority of his time. He was still working on getting his new recruits up to speed with the rest of the team. On top of all of that, his Head Duties kept him up late at night. They scheduled Prefect meeting once a week and continuously rotated the patrol schedule. Lily was a natural, but James often had a tough time keeping up.

 _Lily._ She truly was amazing. James knew she was also taking a handful of NEWT-level classes, and no doubt she was under a lot of stress. But, she never once showed it. Lily continued to excel in whatever she did. Just the other day, when he was struggling in Potions because he had accidentally added too many doxy eggs to his Girding Potion, she had whispered a charm that would reverse the effects.

"Prongs?" someone asked, as fingers snapped in front of his face.

James blinked and looked up, pushing the thoughts of Lily out of his head. He was sitting in a deserted classroom with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They had come there to get some work done, but currently, Remus looked like the only one who had made any progress. Peter was sitting on the floor, levitating his quill, while Sirius had propped his feet up on a desk, his eyes lazily scanning the Marauder's Map.

"Daydreaming about Evans?" Sirius asked, to his right.

James flushed. "No! Of course not! I'm just having trouble with this number chart for Arithmancy. Professor Vector assigned us a particularly difficult one this week."

"Here, let me take a look at it," Remus offered.

"Argh! I'm so bored. And, I'm friends with a bunch of nerds. Moony was hopeless, to begin with, but now he's also dragged Prongs with him," Sirius whined.

"Padfoot, I'm Head Boy. I have more responsibility now," James responded.

"Yeah, but we haven't really done much together, as Marauders," Peter chimed in, slowly.

James thought about that. It was true, he had to admit, that his Head duties left little to no time to hang out with his friends. Sure, he saw Sirius at Quidditch practice, but other than that, he had barely spent time with them outside of class. They had rare moments like today, where they holed up in a classroom to finish up their work.

"You're right, Wormtail. I'm sorry I've been so busy. It's just that with all this work, I've been kind of stressed," James admitted.

Sirius sat up. "Well, lucky for you, Prongsie, I have a solution to all your worries."

Remus frowned. "I don't think we want to be a part of your _solution_."

"Just hear me out, Moony," Sirius said, turning to face the rest of his friends, "How long has it been since we've pulled a true Marauder prank?"

James smirked and pushed his Arithmancy homework off the desk. "I think I know what we're going to be working on for the rest of day."

Remus groaned while Peter clapped his hands together, excitedly.

\--------------------------------------------

The next morning at breakfast, James was in an incredible mood. He strutted into the Great Hall with Sirius, Remus, and Peter as they chose seats at the end of the Gryffindor table. James spotted Lily sitting with Mary and Alice a few seats down. When she saw him, she smiled kindly and he shot her a grin back.

"Are you ready?" Sirius whispered under his breath.

"Just a few more moments, Padfoot," hushed Remus, eyeing the rest of Great Hall.

When they had begun to plan the prank, Sirius wanted something that would completely humiliate all the Slytherins. However, Remus had vehemently disagreed saying that if they were going to pull a prank, it couldn't single out the Slytherins. Sirius had grumbled, but James had agreed with Remus. Additionally, now that James was Head Boy, they had to take more precautions so that they weren't caught. That meant that the prank had to affect _everyone_ , including themselves.

Planning pranks was second nature to them. James and Sirius took the Invisibility Cloak and snuck into Hogsmeade to grab the items. Remus had charmed everything so that the prank would be timed perfectly while Peter ran to the kitchens and hid the items.

"On my mark," Remus said, his wand hidden under the table. James, Sirius, and Peter brought out their wands under the table too.

"Now!"

Silently, the four of them recited the spell with their wands under the table, going through the movements Remus had taught them the night before.

At first, nothing happened. But then...

_PLOP!_

The first balloon shot out of a pitcher of orange juice that a fifth-year Hufflepuff was using. The boy dropped the pitcher in shock, spilling it all over the table and onto his lap. The balloon floated away to the enchanted ceiling.

 _Plop, plop, plop._ Suddenly, there were balloons shooting out of various food items all over the Great Hall. James smirked at he saw pudding splash all over Bellatrix and some other Slytherins. A poor Gryffindor first-year had an entire teapot shatter in front of him.

James looked down at his food and waited for the inevitable. In front of him, his pastry exploded, spewing bits of creme all over his robes. Sirius was complaining, trying to get bits of food out of his hair. James laughed and wiped his face on the sleeve of his robes.

"Look!" called someone from the Ravenclaw table, pointing at the ceiling.

Thousands of balloons had floated to the top of the Great Hall and were arranging themselves in some pattern. Slowly, the images of four animals began to take shape. A lion, a badger, an eagle, and a snake. But these weren't just normal balloons. They were non-explodable _illuminating_ balloons.

So, the four animals began to glow. They produced a beautiful glow that almost rivaled the sun's rays. The lion shone the brightest while the snake seemed to flicker feebly. Of course, that wasn't intentional.

"...such advanced magic," James heard someone say to his right. They had spent the better part of the night looking up the spell, so James was proud to see that their hard work was being noticed.

James was especially satisfied with this prank. They hadn't intentionally hurt anyone and still got a chance to play a joke on the rest of the school. Moments later, he shared a smile with his friends as they got up to leave the Hall. It was a successful prank and they had even tried to promote inter-house unity.

And, they got away with it. Almost...

"James!" said a voice behind him.

It was Lily. She was walking towards them, her green eyes blazing. It seemed that the prank had left her with jam all over her face, which she had haphazardly cleaned because there were still bits of it in her hair.

"What the hell was that?" she asked, more curious than angry.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. I loved that little light show we had at breakfast," James said, innocently. His eyes found a bit of jam, right under her lips, that she had forgotten to clean off.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me. I _know_ it was you guys. What if you had gotten caught? James, you're Head Boy now, you can't go around pranking the entire school!" she said, exasperatedly. James could barely pay attention. That _damn_ bit of jam.

"James!" Lily snapped, trying to get him to look at her.

"Hold still, Lils. You just have a bit of..." he trailed off, looking at her lips. He stepped towards her and she froze, just a little. He placed one hand on her shoulder and lifted the other to her chin. His calloused thumb brushed over the spot right under her lips, taking the jam with it.

Lily gasped as the tip of his thumb skimmed over her lips. She could feel her heart beating and there was an indescribable feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Jam," James said simply, holding up his thumb to show her the remnants of the breakfast food. "And as for your accusations," James stepped away from her and smiled, "I suggest you get some proof. I don't like being falsely accused."

Lily was stunned as he walked away, her hand subconsciously reaching up to touch the spot where his hands had been moments before.

\--------------------------------------------

Severus saw it all and it made him sick to his stomach.

He saw the way Potter wouldn't stop looking at her. He saw the way Lily had smiled at him that morning at breakfast. Why couldn't she understand that James Potter wasn't right for her? He had made a big spectacle in front of the whole school just so his pals could get a good laugh.

The worst, however, was when Severus was leaving the Great Hall to get to Potions, he heard her.

"James!"

 _James._ She had called him _James._ Severus couldn't make out what she was saying to him, but anger filled his veins as he saw Potter step towards her. She didn't even push him away. She just stood there, looking at him. And then he _touched_ her.

And Lily just kept staring at him like some lovesick idiot.

Severus felt like amputating Potter's arms so he would never be able to touch her again. He wanted to shoot a curse at him, but at that moment, Potter had turned around and left Lily standing there alone.

She stood there for a few minutes, her hand touching her mouth. Then she shook her head and walked back to her friends.

But not before Severus saw the small smile grace her lips. 


	16. Chapter 16

It was that time of the year again, Lily groaned, as she woke up with a scratchy throat. Every October, without fail, Lily got sick. Even if she tried everything to prevent it, she would get sick. Usually, it was something simple, like a common cold, that she just had to wait out and she would get better on her own. But, somehow, Lily felt that this year would be different.

Lily pushed the covers off of her and made her way into the bathroom where she began to brush her teeth. Moments later, James walked in, his hair sticking up in every direction and his shirt rumpled. Lily stopped brushing as he smiled at her.

"Morning, Lily," he said, as he picked up his own toothbrush. Lily gulped.

She had been so nervous around him after their interaction in the corridor. If she closed her eyes, she could still feel his thumb running over her skin. She had felt a churning in her stomach that day, but she attributed it to indigestion. There was no way she was falling for James Potter.

Lily spat out her toothpaste. "G'morning," she said, hastily as she quickly dried her hands and tried to back away from him.

James stopped her by putting his hand on her shoulder. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going? You have toothpaste all over your face. Actually, it's not bad. Pretty much covers up all the ugly spots."

Lily gaped at him and hit his shoulder. "Shut up, Potter. You're uglier than I am."

James _tsk_ 'ed and shook his head disappointedly. "That's the best you got, Lils? Hmm, I expected better."

"Oh, cut me some slack. It's too early in the morning."

\-------------------------------------------

When James got back to the dorm later that evening, Lily was nowhere to be seen. He shrugged and climbed the stairs to his room. He dumped his bag on his bed and took out a fresh sheet of parchment. He dug out his Defense textbook and flipped to the chapter on Lethifolds. He dipped his quill into a new bottle of ink and began to write:

_Lethifolds are one of the most aggressive and violent Dark creatures present in the Wizarding World. Although they are very rare, their attacks can be deadly. They are usually present in tropical climates and only attack at night..._

As his essay began to take shape, James craned his neck and massaged his hand which was beginning to cramp. He was drowning in all of his schoolwork and he just wanted a break.

"AGHH!" he screamed, to no one in particular. He pounded his head on his desk, trying to relieve some of his boredness.

"James?" asked a feeble voice by the doorway.

James lifted his head and gasped as he looked at the remains of the Lily Evans he knew. Her hair was matted and her face had taken on a crude green hue. Her eyes were puffy and dark as if she hadn't slept for days. Her tiny body was wrapped in an oversized robe, and it looked like every step she took pained her. He had never seen her like this before.

James got up and ran to her. "Lily! What happened? You were fine this morning."

"I'm just a bit ill, that's all," answered Lily, her voice raspy. "I heard you scream. Are _you_ alright?"

"Forget about me. You need to rest, Lily. How long have you been like this?" James asked, placing a hand on the small of her back and ushering her towards her room.

She stopped abruptly and turned around to face him. "I'm fine, James," she said, crossly. "I just need to-"

Suddenly, she pressed a hand to her head as a wave of nausea rolled over her.

"That's it," James muttered, mostly to himself, as he scooped up Lily in his arms.

"Potter! What are you doing? Put me down!" Lily said, pounding on his chest.

"Oof! Relax, Evans! I'm just getting you to your room because you seem incapable of walking without passing out."

Lily fell silent as James crossed into her room and laid her softly on her covers. Lily almost immediately reached out to him for his warmth, but she attributed that to her muddled mind. She sighed, contentedly, as he pulled the covers around her, creating her own cocoon of warmth.

As James began to leave, she reached out, with almost superhuman strength for someone in her condition, and grabbed his wrist.

"Stay with me," she mumbled, her eyes drooping shut from exhaustion.

James hesitated. The old James would have swooped on this moment and would have done anything to be close to Lily Evans. But, now, James wasn't sure where he stood with Lily. Yes, they were friends, but was it really his place to stay with her when she was sick?

James snuck another glance at her motionless body, an almost peaceful aura around her. His resolve crumbled as he pulled out a chair and dropped himself into it, all the while keeping his eyes on her.

\---------------------------------------

When Mary and Alice walked into the Heads Common Room, they did not expect it to be dark and silent.

"I reckon she's upstairs resting," Alice told Mary, as both girls began climbing the stairs together.

Neither of them, however, was prepared for the sight in front of them when they pushed open Lily's door.

Lily was tucked into her bed, her face hidden from view. James was sitting at her bedside, his head lolling to the side and his hair flopping in front of his face.

Mary walked over to him and shook him awake. James spluttered for a moment and blinked rapidly, trying to adjust his vision in the dark room.

"Mary? Alice? What're you doing here?"

"We came to see Lily and make sure she's not dying. What are _you_ doing in her room?" Mary asked, suspiciously.

"Er...."

"Mary! James! You have to come and see this! What's happened to her?" Alice gasped from Lily's bedside.

James propelled himself out of his chair and stood at Lily's side. Alice was holding her hand and Mary sucked in a breath as all three of them looked at Lily's face.

Even though she was fast asleep, it was easy to tell that that everything was not normal. From the neck down, everything was perfectly fine. Her legs were tangled together and her arms were under her head as a sort of pillow. However, upon further inspection, her face was completely misshapen. Her face and neck were swollen beyond belief, almost forcing her eyes to be permanently shut. Her skin took on a sickly pale hue and she seemed beyond recognition.

Alice reached out a hand to brush Lily's hair out of her face. When her hand came in contact with Lily's skin, however, she retracted it immediately, as if she had been shocked.

James looked helplessly at Alice and Mary. "Do you know what's wrong with her? Should I take her to the Hospital Wing?"

"No!" warned Alice and Mary in unison. James took a step back, startled.

"It's just that Lily hates the Hospital Wing. She refuses to miss classes and she knows that Madam Pomfrey is just going to make her sit there for hours. We took her to the hospital wing once when she had a fever in third year and we still haven't heard the end of it," Mary explained as she took Lily's other hand.

"Well, then what do we do?" James asked.

"I know what it is," Alice murmured.

James' head snapped to her. "What is it? Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes, she'll be fine. She has the Mumblemumps. It's a pretty common magical disease. She just needs to rest."

"Oh, she's not going to like that," said Mary, her brow furrowing.

All three of them stayed with Lily that night. James brought in chairs and pillows for the girls while he seated himself in the far corner of the room. He knew he should be working on his essay, but there was no way he was going to leave Lily like this. Even if they were just friends in Lily's mind, he knew that she would always be something more to him.

As the first rays of sunshine peeked through the window, Mary shook Alice awake. James brought in a mug of tea for both of them. They sipped the warm liquid slowly, relishing its taste as it slid down the back of their throat.

"We should get going. Thanks for everything, James," said Alice, quietly nodding her head in gratitude.

"Don't thank me. I just did what you would have done."

Mary snorted as she collected their mugs. "Sure, Potter."

Mary left the room to dispose of the mugs. James squirmed uncomfortably under Alice's firm gaze. As Alice stood up to collect her things, she glanced at James.

"Make sure she rests. She's going to want to go to classes and do work and basically take on the whole world, but what she needs right now is rest. Also, make sure she drinks a lot of water. She needs the swelling to go down so keep her hydrated."

James raised his hand in a mock salute. "Anything you say, Healer Prewett."

Alice blushed as James opened the door for her. The pair descended the stairs together in a comfortable silence. They met Mary at the foot of the stairs, shouldering her schoolbag.

"You ready to go, Al?"

"Yeah," Alice nodded, with one last glance towards Lily's room.

"She'll be fine, Alice. I promise," James told her earnestly.

"You go ahead, Al, I'll catch up with you," Mary told her friend as she eyed James.

As Alice left the Head Dormitory, Mary turned to James, an indescribable emotion in her hardened eyes.

"Thanks for being there for her tonight, Potter."

James ran a hand through his unruly hair. "Oh, it was nothing."

"It was definitely not 'nothing'. Don't you dare try and fool me. I know that Lily may believe this friendship thing you've been feeding her, but I'm not daft. I know you still fancy her."

James opened his mouth to retort, but Mary held up one finger and continued, "And, I think you may actually have a chance."

James was definitely not expecting that, so he made a type of choking noise in the back of his throat. "You what?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "I think you may have a chance, James. She defintiely does not complain about you and when we ask her how things are going, she shrugs and mumbles some compliment about you. Whatever you're doing, you're breaking down her wall. She think you actually have some redeeming qualities.

"But, I have to warn you: if you do anything to hurt her, I will come for you, Potter. We're both muggleborn, so naturally, you have to undertand that we're not as trusting. Lily thrives, but I've not always been so lucky. After Mulciber assaulted me back in my fifth year, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that things are getting worse. But, Lily, she's different."

James reached out and pulled Mary into a hug as the latter began to sob into his shoulder. "Hey, it's alright. I promise you, I would never think of hurting Lily. I hate that you had to go through what you did, but I will always try my best to keep her safe."

Mary nodded as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Thanks, James," she said as she hurried out of the dorm.

James replayed his conversation with Mary in his head as he began to ascend the stairs to Lily's room again. He hated how people refused to see muggleborns as more than their blood. James knew that Mary had big plans with her future, and it hurt him to see her so broken. James pushed open the door to Lily's room with unnecessary force, the sound waking up the ocupant of the bed.

Lily struggled to open her eyes, but she could make out the blurry figure of one James Potter. "You stayed," she croaked.

"I would never leave you."


	17. Chapter 17

That Friday, Professor Slughorn had decided to host a Slug Club meeting. Lily loved Professor Slughorn, but she absolutely despised those Slug Club meetings. Essentially, every time Slughorn introduced her to some high-ranking Ministry official, he would start with, "This is Lily Evans, she's Muggle-born, but..." and Lily hated it.

Nevertheless, the food was good and Lily didn't want to disappoint one of her favorite professors. She had decided to drag Alice along with her as her "date". That way, she knew there would be one person in the room she could talk to.

Lily had gotten permission from Professor McGonagall earlier that week to invite Alice into the Heads Dorm so that they could get ready together. Lily had even struck up the nerve to tell James that Alice would be over.

After she had recovered from her sickness, Lily and James had gotten along superbly. They worked together in the library, often asking each other questions. Lily still couldn't believe that he had stayed with her the whole night.

There was only one thing she knew for sure. James Potter had grown up and matured. Lily actually _liked_ being around him, which is something she was shocked to hear herself say. Their conversations were always interesting, whenever they weren't fighting, of course. But even when they were fighting, Lily felt a thrill. Yes, part of it was her temper, itching to hex him, but another part of it was passion. She had never _felt_ so much anger around anyone, not even Petunia. But James Potter was a different story.

In a way, she was glad she could get so angry with him. It meant that they both knew how to stand their ground. They were both people who had strong beliefs, and those beliefs often contradicted one another. Lily and James were both very stubborn people, which meant that they would rather go down fighting than being told that they were wrong.

When Lily walked into the common area, she noticed James was sitting at the table, scribbling away furiously on a piece of parchment.

"Wow, I'd never thought I'd see the day when James Potter is actually _working,_ " Lily teased him.

James looked up at her and gave her a small smile. "Ah, but you see, Lily, I'm a very hard worker when it comes to Quidditch," he nodded at the piece of paper in front of him. "Just trying to figure out the best formations for the team."

"Anyways, Alice and I will be in my room for a bit before we head down to the Slug Club meeting. Let me know if you need anything."

"Yeah sure. Enjoy your slugs," James said as he went back to his parchment.

Lily guided Alice up the stairs to her bedroom, throwing her schoolbag on the chair of her desk. Alice deposited hers next to Lily's and clambered up onto Lily's bed, lying down with a sigh.

"Your bed is so soft. Can I sleep here forever?" Alice sighed, dreamily.

Lily poked her friend in the side. "No, geroff it's my bed."

Alice sat up, a frown lining her face. "Lily, don't be a spoilsport. Just because you're Head Girl doesn't mean the rest of us can't reap the benefits."

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes at Alice. "I'm going to change. Get up when you feel like it."

Lily headed into the bathroom and when she came out, she saw Alice still lying on her bed, flipping through their transfiguration textbook.

"Hey, Lils, I was was wondering... How is he?" Alice asked, suddenly.

Lily didn't register the question properly. "Who? McGonagall?"

"What?" Alice wrinkled her brows, "Of course not! I was talking about Potter."

"Oh," Lily waited a moment before answering. "He's fine. We work well together."

Alice sat up and eyed her friend. "No, Lily. I mean, seriously. Is he bothering you? I know how much this means to you and I don't want him messing it up."

"He's not messing anything up. I mean, yes, we bicker. But he hasn't asked me out or anything. He just treats me like a normal person which is all I ever wanted. Everything's good. Now, go change before I decide not to take you with me."

Alice groaned and grabbed a pair of her clothes. "You need me, Lily Evans!" she said as she walked into the bathroom to change.

A few moments later, Alice emerged from the bathroom in a simple blue sundress. It flowed down to her knees and she had paired the outfit with a pair of flats. Lily was dressed similarly, wearing a floral skirt with a plain shirt. Lily hated leaving her hair down so she pinned it up in a half-ponytail.

Together, they walked down to the Potions dungeon, chatting about nothing in particular. When they entered the Potions classroom, they saw that the "meeting" had already begun in full swing.

Lily met up with Professor Slughorn while Alice ambled towards the food. _Of course_ , Lily thought, a small smile playing on her face.

"Professor!" Lily said as she sought out Slughorn.

"Ah, Lily! It's so wonderful to see you again! Let me introduce you to some of my friends from the Ministry," Slughorn commented, good-naturedly, not noting that the smile on Lily's face had become strained.

Slughorn introduced her to Healers, journalists, and inventors. Lily tried to pay attention, but everyone's face was a blur by the end of it. When Lily finally managed to rid herself of Slughorn's clutches, she tried to locate Alice. Alice was standing near the beverages, amicably chatting with a sixth year Hufflepuff. Lily kept her eyes on her friend as she made her way towards her. But, something... rather _someone_ stopped her.

Lily stepped back in shock as the grinning face of David Carter came into view. Carter was a seventh-year Ravenclaw that frequently came to these Slug Club meetings because his aunt played for the Holyhead Harpies. Lily didn't know much about him other than the fact that he was very well-liked since he seemed to have a large cluster of friends with him everywhere he went. However, tonight was an exception as he approached her alone.

"Lily Evans! How are you?"

"Erm, I'm fine thanks. I'm actually-" Lily tried to step around him to get to Alice but he seemed to be blocking her way perfectly.

"Congrats on making Head Girl. It must be a lot of work, but you seem to be handling it well," he complimented.

"Oh, well, I don't know about that," Lily blushed, humbly.

"You're doing amazing, don't fret. Anyways, you must be shouldering most of the work, especially with that wanker James Potter playing pranks."

Lily's head shot up as she narrowed her eyes. She did not like where this conversation was going. "Actually, for your information, we split the work evenly. And I don't see how it's any of your business what he does."

David held up his hands in defense. "You're right. I'm sorry, Lily. A bloke knows when he's crossed the line. Anyways, you look lovely tonight."

Lily huffed, but a small smile still graced her lips as he turned away. The smile, however, was short-lived as another person came into view.

"Lily."

Lily eyed the black-haired, sallow-faced boy in front of her. She had forgotten that _he_ was also invited to these meetings. Her hand jumped to the freshly-healed scar on her cheek. "What do you want, Severus?"

Severus looked taken aback, but he continued anyway. "Can I have a word, Lily?"

"Yeah, you can. _Goodbye,_ " Lily turned away, but Snape grabbed her arm before she could leave.

Lily turned around, a fire burning in her green eyes, but Severus didn't care. He came here to say something and he wouldn't leave until he said it.

"Hey, what's going on?!?"

Alice had seen Snape approach Lily and she had rudely ended the conversation she was having to be at Lily's side. Snape narrowed his eyes at her. She was not part of his plan.

"I'm sorry about this, Prewett," Snape said as he mumbled a jinx her way.

"Wha-?" Alice began but found she couldn't move. Snape muttered another spell, and when Alice opened her mouth again, no sound came out.

Lily was too shocked at what he had done that she barely noticed that he was dragging her out of the party. When she realized, they were already out of the classroom, into the dungeons, in an empty corridor.

Lily shook her arm out of his grasp, anger bubbling through her veins. "What the _hell_ was that? You can't just curse someone whenever you feel like it! Alice is my _friend._ I don't know if you know what that word means, but I actually care about her." Lily turned around and stormed back to the classroom.

"He's gonna get you killed," Snape said, suddenly.

Lily clenched her fists. She had a pretty good idea of who he was talking about and she had enough of people making assumptions about James Potter. She whirled around to face her ex-friend. "No, actually. It's your Death Eater friends that'll probably kill me first," she retorted bitterly.

Snape opened his mouth to reply, but Lily cut him off. She was truly angry now and she couldn't hold it back anymore, so she let it out. "You know why? Because I'm a _mudblood_. I'm a filthy mudblood, you said it yourself. That's all you're good at, really. Hurting people. I have no time for people like you in my life," she spat, venomously. Tears clouded her vision, but she willed herself not to cry.

"I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing you a favor! Stay away from him if you know what's good for you."

"I'm my own person and I'm capable of making my own decisions! Leave James out of this!" Lily could feel her temper fraying.

"He's a blood traitor and you're in danger just being around him! I wasn't lying before; he _will_ get you killed."

"I don't care! I'd rather be around someone like him who has the guts to stand up for what he believes in rather than hiding behind my wand!" Lily's head was spinning and her breath came out in short gasps.

"You don't get it! Blood traitors are up at the top of the Dark Lord's hit list. If you keep associating with him, you'll be killed too."

"Oh yeah, and where are mudbloods on that list? I'm pretty sure I'll be long dead before he comes for James. And even if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did come after James, he would fight until his last breath."

"Fine, I hope you're happy being James Potter's little plaything," Severus scoffed. He had tried, but Lily refused to see reason. She was too blinded by Potter's charm.

Lily gasped and pulled her wand out, thrusting it at his face. "Say it again. I dare you. SAY IT AGAIN!"

She heard footsteps behind her, but she didn't care. She was so angry at him for everything, but even more, she was angry at herself for being friends with him in the first place. She jabbed her wand into his throat, tears flowing freely down her face.

Suddenly, someone was pulling her wand out of her hand, pushing her away from Snape. Lily fought against them, but they just calmly held her in place. She looked up and saw Remus, his face stern, holding her back. She looked over his shoulder and saw Alice, panting from running down the corridor.

Remus turned to Snape, one hand still on Lily's shoulder. "Get out! Leave her alone!"

Snape looked painstakingly at Lily, but then turned around and walked away. He had tried, and in the end, it was her loss that she refused to listen. He promised himself that he would make James Potter pay.

Lily crumpled to the ground, her sobs dissipating into hiccups, as she stared unblinkingly at the ground in front of her. Alice wrapped her arms around her, rubbing her back slowly.

"Thank you," Lily muttered into Alice's ear, "Thanks for finding me."

"Hey, I'll always be there for you. Let's get you back to the dorm," Alice replied, giving Lily a small smile. She helped Lily off the ground and linked their arms together. Lily smiled gratefully at Remus, a silent thanks passing between the two of them. All three of them began to walk up towards the Head Dorm.

"I thought he was going to kill you," Alice whispered in her ear.

And that's when Lily truly realized it: Severus Snape was capable of that now.


	18. Chapter 18

James was just putting the finishing touches on his Astronomy chart when he heard the portrait hole open. He assumed it was just Lily turning in for the night, so he didn't really pay much attention to it.

However, when he heard Remus' voice in the distance, James knew something was up. He pushed his chart into his bag and headed down the stairs into the common area.

"Remus?" he called uncertainly.

Remus' head popped out around the corner, his eyes widening when he saw James. "James! You're here! Come quick, Lily needs you."

James could feel his heart speed up, assuming the worst when he followed Remus into the sitting room. He saw Lily huddled around the fire, her back to him. Alice was sitting next to her, murmuring something under her breath. James gave Remus a confused look, unsure of what to do.

Suddenly, Lily stood up and shook her head. "I'm fine, Al! Nothing happened. He just wanted to talk."

"It didn't sound like that when I found you," Remus said to her, still standing next to James.

Lily turned around to retort but stopped short when her eyes landed on James. James' mouth dropped open as he took a good look at her. Her eyes were rimmed with red and he could make out the dried tracks of tears along her cheeks. His heart constricted as he roved his eyes over her mussed hair, strands of it falling onto her face. Her shoulders slumped and her brows were furrowed.

"James," she breathed and James felt his heart beat faster. All he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"What happened?"

Lily's face twisted into a frown. "It's nothing..." she trailed off.

"It was not 'nothing', Lily. You looked like you were about to hex him into next year. You were yelling so loudly I was surprised half the school couldn't hear you," Remus said, sitting down on a chair.

Lily scowled at him. Before she could open her mouth, James interrupted, his mind spinning from confusion.

"Can someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on?!" he asked, exasperated.

"Lily had a confrontation with Snape today," Alice said quietly.

Lily snorted. "More like he ambushed me."

" _What?"_ James demanded, his hands forming fists.

Lily stepped towards him, tentatively. She placed her hands on his forearms and ignoring the fluttering of her heart, eased him into a chair. "Listen, James, everything's fine. We had a small disagreement, that's it."

Remus arched an eyebrow at her from across the room. "Mhmm, small disagreement. I guess that's what we're calling it now."

Lily glared daggers at him, but James was still distracted by Lily's hands gripping his arms. James awkwardly cleared his throat and Lily looked back at him, confused. He gestured towards her hands and Lily quickly removed them, a blush rising through her cheeks.

"Erm, sorry."

James sat up straighter and looked at Alice, Remus, and Lily in turn. "So, can someone start from the beginning? The last I saw you, you were getting ready to go to your Slug Club meeting. What happened?"

"I don't even know how everything escalated so quickly. One moment, I'm talking to David Carter and the next-"

"You were talking with _Carter?_ " James interrupted, unable to stop himself.

"Yes," Lily replied, through gritted teeth. "Anyways-"

"What for?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "It doesn't matter! Can I continue now?"

James huffed and gestured for her to continue.

"Anyways, out of nowhere, Snape asks to have a word with me. I say no, obviously, but then he tries to force me to talk to him."

"He did _what?_ "

"As I was saying, he tries to force me to talk to him, but Alice saw him and came over to stop him. And then..." Lily stopped abruptly.

"Then what?"

Alice spoke up. "He jinxed me."

"What? How?"

"I don't know! I didn't even know what had happened until Snape was dragging me away to some corridor." Lily tugged on the ends of her hair, twirling them around her finger.

"When the curse wore off, I ran to find someone, anyone really, who could help. Thank Merlin I found you, Remus," Alice continued.

"When Alice and I found Lily, she really looked like she was going to murder him," Remus added.

Lily gasped, her eyes wide. "I wasn't! I would never murder someone! I mean, I was angry, but I would never!"

Alice grasped her hand, shooting Remus a dirty look. "Of course, Lily. We know you would never stoop to their level."

James could hear his blood roaring in his ears. _How could I have let her go alone?_ he chided himself. However, he knew it was useless. Lily was her own person and he was more than sure that she could handle herself. He just wished he could be there for her more. James shook the thought out of his head. _She doesn't want me like that._

"Wait, Lily," Alice asked, suddenly, "what did he want to talk to you about?"

Lily stole a quick glance at James, and then immediately cast her eyes downward. "Oh... erm, it really was nothing. Just the way he was talking to me really got me angry," she fibbed, playing with her fingers, nervously.

Alice looked at her, unconvinced.

"Anyways, Alice and I should probably get going. I have a Defense essay I need to finish up," said Remus, standing up.

Lily nodded mutely, still staring at her fingers. Alice pulled her into a hug. "I'm here for you if you need anything," Alice whispered in her ear.

James clapped Remus on the back. "Thanks, mate, for everything."

"I did what you would have done."

Once Remus and Alice left, James found Lily sitting on the couch. She was trying to comb her hair into looking more presentable, but she gave up and tied it into a bun instead. James approached her slowly, and Lily stiffened. She muttered some excuse under her breath and got up to leave.

James gently caught her wrist in his hand. "Lily, please," he murmured softly. He felt her pulse quicken under his fingertips but thought nothing of it.

She turned around and faced him, her green eyes boring into his hazel ones. "I told you, I'm fine. You don't need to be the hero and check up on me!" Lily told him, her voice rising higher and higher with each word. Her eyes had begun to get suspiciously bright.

"That's not what I'm doing. I just want to know something. What exactly were you arguing about?"

Lily avoided his gaze. "It was stupid. I don't even remember."

"Don't lie to me, Lily."

Lily finally looked at him. "What's the big deal anyway? You probably just want a reason to hex him!"

"Is that what you think? Do you think that's what's on my mind right now?"

"I- well- no," Lily admitted, casting her eyes downwards.

James slid his hand from Lily's wrist and clasped her hand. He pulled her towards the couches and sat in one himself. He patted the spot next to him and Lily sat down next to him.

"Tell me."

"I... can't," Lily choked out.

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to!"

"Lily, I won't force you but-"

"That's what you're doing now!"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because I'm ashamed!"

James stopped and stared at her. "What are you ashamed about?"

"That I used to be friends with him. I actually thought that he was a good person."

"Lils, that's nothing to be ashamed about. That just means you see the best in people. I've always admired that about you," James admitted.

Lily glanced at him. She ran a finger along the small scar on her cheek. "Yeah, and I was wrong."

James slid towards her and brushed her fingers away from her face. "Stop that. Don't beat yourself up over things that you can't change. You deserve better."

She scoffed. "Funny, that's exactly what he told me today."

"I'm sure that's not the only thing he said."

Lily scowled. "Why do you always have to be so frustrating?"

James smirked at her. "It's a natural skill, you know. Now, will you quit stalling?"

Lily took a deep breath and looked straight at him. "It was about you. He wanted to talk to me about you."

"Oh."

"'Oh'? That's all you have to say?"

"Erm, I wasn't aware you wanted me to say something."

"I do. You usually have some very strong opinions."

"That's never going to change. But I do want to hear your side of the story first."

Lily wrapped her arms around her. "Oh, it was the same story of how I should be careful who I associate with. This time, though, he told me that you were going to get me killed." She laughed, "Ha! Can you believe that?"

James' mouth went dry. "He said that?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I could care less since it's the same sob story over and over," she said while she brought her knees to her chest.

James didn't know what made him do it. He just knew that he'd do anything to be closer to her. He slung his arm around her, scooting closer to her. Almost immediately, she laid her head on his shoulder. James marveled at how perfectly they fit together, but he couldn't say that out loud.

Lily sighed. "Sometimes, I just wish things were easier."

"Easier how?"

"I dunno. Just... easier."

"I know what you mean, Lils. Sometimes, I wish that too."

They sat there, listening to the crackling of the fire, wrapped up in their own thoughts. The silence was comfortable though, and James thought that if he died right then and there, he would've been content. James could feel each of Lily's breaths with each rise and fall of her chest, soft and warm. _I could sit here forever with her,_ he thought, as he closed his eyes.

Suddenly, Lily shifted beside him. "James, you're tired. I'm gonna head up to bed."

James opened his eyes to look at her. "It's fine, Lils. I'm fine."

She smiled. "Well, I'm tired. Thank you for this, but I'm going to turn in for the night."

"G'night, Lily," he sighed.

"Night, James," she said, patting his knee.

She got up and left, leaving James there alone... and more confused than ever.


	19. Chapter 19

Lily and James seemed to be set in a comfortable routine, the incident with Snape forgotten. Every morning, they would wake up and brush their teeth together, making each other laugh. Then, as they headed down to the Great Hall together for breakfast, they would exchange their schedules, trying to coordinate a time to finish up their Head duties. They would separate at breakfast, meeting up with their respective friends. However, they would meet again in the evening in the library, finishing up their homework together and asking each other questions. As James would leave to attend Quidditch practice and Lily would go to tutor Dorcas, they would both trade smiles while they continued on their own.

It was during one of these evenings that James and Lily found themselves holed up in the library, trying to finish up their Charms essay. Of course, Lily's quill flew seamlessly over her parchment, while James' was a bit slower.

"Erm, Lils? Where did you find that paragraph on the dangers of the charm?" James asked, peering at her from the top of his glasses.

"I think it was on page 238. Did you find it?"

James flipped through his textbook. "Oh, yeah, found it. Thanks."

A few minutes later, Lily placed her quill down and stretched her arms in front of her. "Finished! Merlin, that was exhausting."

"Gimme a few more minutes. I'm almost done."

Lily nodded and decided to work on cleaning out her schoolbag. It over a month into the school year and she had begun to throw in various pieces of parchment from her classes. She rolled up her Charms essay and placed it on the side as she began to organize the loose sheets of parchment floating around in her bag.

As she worked, she came across a crumpled piece of parchment hidden deep in the folds of her bag. She tried to straighten it out to read it, but across from her, James had just finished his essay.

Lily reached over and handed James her essay while also grabbing his essay. She stared at his cramped handwriting for a second before running her fingers over the dry ink. She smiled inwardly as she noticed the various crossed out sections in his essay. They were so different, but in the end, they both got the job done.

"Hey, Lily? I wanted you to review my essay, not ogle at my parchment," James said, staring at her, his eyebrows creased.

Lily let out a small laugh. "Okay, okay. I'm working on it, James."

She dipped her quill in fresh ink and began to read over his work. His essay was pretty well structured, but she made a few mental notes on where he could improve. Across from her, James was also doing the same, reading over her essay.

"I think you misread this part here, Lily. It took a while for me to understand the theory, but I think I got it."

Lily frowned and flipped through her textbook to reread the section he was referring to. She noticed that she had, indeed, misread the theory. She quickly revised the section of her essay before handing it back to James.

"There, much better. Thanks for catching that."

Once Lily had finished James' essay, she handed it back to him and gave him a few tips on where he could elaborate more. James nodded and began to flip through his textbook once again. Lily resumed organizing her bag, her gaze once again landing on the crumpled piece of parchment.

As Lily began to unfold it, she recognized her own small, curly handwriting and tried to rack her brain where it came from. When she had completely straightened out the parchment, Lily skimmed over the first line, her face glowing hot with embarrassment as she realized what she was holding.

She mumbled something to James, "I'll be back...", stuffed the parchment into her robes, and practically ran to the nearest bookshelf. She didn't notice James' amused smile as she scurried away from him.

Safely hidden out of sight from the boy in question, Lily rested her back against the bookshelf and unfolded the parchment again. She smiled softly as she read through the contents of her unsent letter to Marlene, the one she had written weeks ago at the start of the term.

She had written it just after their duel with the Slytherins when she had actually begun to warm up to James. Parts of the letter stood out to her as she realized how much her opinions about him had changed since her first year at Hogwarts.

' _... James was there for me, though...'_

_'... He's a fighter and a strong leader...'_

_'... I think I've finally come to respect James Potter...'_

Lily was reminded of the events the night she wrote that letter, but her heart warmed as she remembered what he had told her that night. He had said that he would fight for people like her until his dying breath.

Lily tried to suppress her smile as she thought about all the things he had done for her since then. However, she was ultimately unsuccessful and anyone who might've stumbled upon Lily Evans would've found her behind a bookshelf clutching a worn piece of parchment, smiling like a lunatic.

Until she heard it.

"James?"

Lily stiffened and peered around the end of the bookshelf, the smile melting off her face, just in time to see James look up from his textbook to face a petite brunette.

"Erm, yes?" he asked, confused.

"Hi! I'm Helen! I'm a sixth-year Hufflepuff and I've been having some trouble with, erm-" She glanced down at his essay, "Charms! I was wondering if you could help me out."

"Oh! I'm actually not that good at Charms. I could ask Lily, though. She's pretty much a genius when it comes to Charms."

Behind the bookshelf, Lily felt her face warm with pride, but the moment was short-lived as the girl began to speak again.

"Haha, that's alright! I also needed some help with Transfiguration and I know you're an expert at that. Would you be able to help me?" she asked him, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Er- I would, but I'm actually pretty busy this term. I could talk with McGonagall and ask her to set you up with a tutor."

The girl frowned a little bit but straightened up almost immediately. She reached out and lightly touched James' arm. "But, I want the best, and I heard that you're the best."

Lily's hands formed fists as she fought the urge to amputate the girl's arm.

James cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted away from her. "I'm sorry, Helen. I suggest you find someone else to help you. As I said before, I'm very busy and I couldn't possibly take the time out to tutor you. If you really need some help with the class, I would be more than happy to find you someone who knows the material."

As he finished, James shut his book and finally made eye contact with the girl, noticing her slumped posture. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.

"However, I would be able to look over your work after you've finished and possibly give you a few tips...?" James told her, earnestly.

The girl, ( _Helen_ , Lily reminded her herself) unsure of how to take his response, twisted her lips into a semblance of a smile. She stole one last glance at James Potter before excusing herself back to her friends.

Lily watched the entire exchange unfold and let out a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding in. Her fingers curled around the letter she had hastily shoved into her pockets. She sighed. They were just friends, nothing more.

"Ah, Evans. I never took you for a stalker," a smug voice said from behind her.

Lily whirled around to face the last person she wanted to see, Sirius Black. She flushed, the heat coloring her cheeks red, as she realized she had been found in a rather compromising position. She quickly racked her brain to find some excuse to explain why she had been, to put it lightly, _spying_ on the Head Boy.

"Er- I was just looking for a book," she lied, lamely.

Sirius smirked, noticing the way her face had turned the same shade as her hair, "I didn't realize that a _book_ could make you drool. Congrats, Evans, you've impressed me with your _attention to detail_."

"Never thought I would see the day when Sirius Black walked into the library. Honestly, I didn't even think you knew how to read," Lily retorted, crossing her arms.

"Nice try, Evans. Let's see what James has to say about this, huh?"

Lily blanched. "What? No- Sirius- please-"

Her protests were met on deaf ears as he brought her out from behind the shelves.

"James! Look who I found lurking around the bookshelves," Sirius announced, throwing his arm around Lily's shoulder and leading her towards James.

"Lily!" he said, his face brightening as he sought out her green eyes, "Where'd you go?"

Lily scowled at Sirius as he plopped himself into a chair next to James. She took her seat again, ignored Sirius' self-satisfied look, and forced herself to look at James.

"Just looking for a book," she repeated, but then gathered the courage to ask, "Anyways, what did _Helen_ want?"

James scrunched his eyebrows together. "Who?"

Lily sighed and waved her hand, dismissively, trying to put on an air of indifference, "You know, the girl who was here?"

"Oh," James straightened up and shrugged, "I dunno. She said something about Transfiguration."

"I think what the Lovely Lily wants to know is how much time you'll be spending with this other girl. Evans wants you all to herself," Sirius piped up, watching the exchange between the Head students with a smirk.

Lily's mouth dropped open and she lobbed one of her quills at him. It hit him squarely in the middle of his forehead, leaving behind a small stain of ink.

"Merlin, Lily! No need to get violent, I was only trying to help," Sirius exclaimed, rubbing the spot on his forehead where the quill had hit him.

"Well, bugger off, Black."

James sat back, watching Sirius and Lily squabble like toddlers. It made him happy that Lily could put Sirius in his place. Most girls were afraid to even disagree with the legendary Sirius Black.

Lily cleared her throat, bringing James out of his thoughts. "So, this Helen, she seemed very interested in Transfiguration."

James frowned, wondering why she was bringing this up again. Unless- _was she jealous?_ How Lily Evans could think he had eyes for any other girl when she was so beautiful herself was beyond him.

"She asked me to tutor her in Transfiguration, but I turned her down. I'm swamped as it is," James told her, hopefully quashing any doubt she had.

Lily nodded, nonchalantly, but as soon as James looked down to finish his essay, she allowed herself to smile, truly happy. Sirius noticed this and raised his eyebrows at her. Lily lifted another one of her quills, silently challenging him to say something. Sirius shrugged and Lily's fingers found the piece of parchment in her pocket once again.

_Just friends._


	20. Chapter 20

James lazily drummed his fingers on the polished wood bench, propping his head on his arm. He swept his gaze around the dark and humid Potions classroom, his eyes landing on the empty seat next to him.

Sirius was James' usual Potions partner, but he had skived off because he had a "stomachache." However, James knew that Sirius had put off writing his Potions essay and was frantically trying to finish it.

James groaned as he realized he would probably have to pair up with some blabby Hufflepuff or even worse, a Slytherin. Before he could even entertain that thought further, students began shuffling into the classroom. He sat up straighter, eyes focused on the chalkboard in the front of the room. _It's just one class period. You can do this,_ he resolved.

A hand tapped him on the shoulder, "James? Where's Sirius?"

James looked up at Lily, her auburn hair pulled back into a ponytail. Small wisps of hair framed her face, and James followed one tendril as it curled softly against her cheek. He realized that she had actually asked him a question and was waiting for a response.

"Er- he had a stomachache."

"Well then, I guess this seat's empty."

James stared at her, open-mouthed, as she slid onto the bench next to him. He tried to look around for Alice, her Potions partner, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Lily, what're you doing? Where's Alice?" James asked, staring at her incredulously.

Lily rolled her eyes. "She told me she's skiving today. I think she just wants to spend time with Frank," she said, her green eyes brightening with mirth.

James allowed himself to smile, reveling in the fact that Lily Evans would be his Potions partner for the next hour and a half. He rummaged through his schoolbag and produced his Potions essay, which he lay on his bench.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I'm impressed, Potter. I didn't actually think you paid attention in this class."

She grabbed his essay and unfolded it, her intelligent eyes skimming over the contents.

"Lils," he nudged her, "I know you have trouble with Potions, but I'm not allowing you to copy my essay."

Lily flung his essay back at him as she scoffed, "Shut it, Potter. I was actually going to compliment you, but I've changed my mind."

"Oh, really?" James asked, quirking his eyebrow.

"Yes, James," Lily conceded, "This might be your first Potions essay where you'll get higher than a T."

James scowled at her. "Well, I guess we can't all be Potions geniuses. I'm much better at Transfiguration, anyways."

"I'm not a Potions genius!"

"Ok, Evans... whatever you say," James said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm not! Do you think I like being in this dark and humid dungeon? Of course not! I may be good at Potions, but I'll always love Charms."

James pondered this. "Why Charms? I've never understood why we need to learn such menial spells."

Lily snorted. "Why? Because the great James Potter would rather spend his time turning mice into teacups?"

"Better than spending hours learning a Cheering Charm."

Lily rested her head on her hand as she looked at him sideways. "I dunno, I've always been really good at Charms. As a muggle-born, Charms are what I've always associated with magic. The theory interests me too because even though charms are 'simple spells', they can cause a lot of damage. What about you? Why Transfiguration?"

James paused for a moment as he tried to think of the best response to her question. "Hmm, I guess Transfiguration is more certain. There is no in-between with Transfiguration; it's either right or wrong."

Lily thought about this and realized it suited him perfectly. James Potter was exactly like the subject of Transfiguration. He was so completely himself, no in-between. While Lily tended to try to consider all aspects of a situation, James would jump in headfirst and do what he thought was right.

James, completely unaware of Lily's contemplation, mistook her silence to mean that she was regretting ever talking to him.

Panicking, James tried to backtrack, "I mean, I know it sounds completely daft, but I didn't really know how to put it into words. I swear, I'm not bonkers."

Lily smiled at him. "Of course not, it makes complete sense, James. I actually think that-" The rest of her sentence was cut off as the doors opened to admit their Potions professor.

"Settle down, class. We have much to cover today, so we must begin straightaway," boomed the voice of Professor Slughorn. "I will first be collecting your essays from last class." The professor waved his want to collect the dozens of scrolls sitting on his pupils' desks.

"Today," he continued, " we will be brewing a Volubilis potion. Can anyone tell me what this potion is used for?"

Lily's hand shot up. "Professor, this potion is used to alter the voice of the drinker. In some cases, it can also be used to reverse the effects of a Silencing Charm."

Slughorn broke out into a wide grin as he nodded approvingly at his favorite student. "Yes, yes, Ms. Evans. Absolutely correct. Five points to Gryffindor.

"One of the hardest aspects of brewing a Volubilis potion is the number of color changes. What color is the potion when complete?"

A student on the far end of the room raised her hand. "Yellow, sir."

"Incredible! Five points to Hufflepuff. Now, this potion has four major ingredients. Can anyone list them all? How about you, Mr. Potter?"

James started as he heard his name. He realized he hadn't been paying attention, instead focusing on Lily's perfect handwriting as she took notes beside him.

"Er- the ingredients of the Volubilis Potion. Mint springs, stewed Mandrake, Syrup of Hellebore, and... erm, hang on, I got this..."

James racked his brain, trying to remember the final ingredient. Underneath the table, Lily nudged his leg. Ignoring the way his heart sped up, he slid his eyes over to her parchment where she had cleverly listed out the last ingredient of the potion.

"Honeywater!" exclaimed James, unable to keep the smile off of his face. Next to him, Lily shook her head, smirking.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter. Five points to Gryffindor. However, next time, I would appreciate it if you learn the material yourself instead of relying on your partner," Slughorn admonished, causing Lily to go completely red in the face.

"I will now leave you to brew the potion on your own with your partners. At the end of the class period, I will collect a sample of your potion for a grade. Before you leave, I will give you a special assignment to be turned in at the start of the next period. Good luck!"

James looked at Lily, who had started stoking the fire beneath their cauldron. She pointed her wand at the coals and muttered a spell.

"Lils, I'm gonna go get the ingredients, alright?" asked James.

"Well, you better know them now that I fed you the answers."

"It was _one_ answer. Don't get too arrogant now, we wouldn't want anyone calling you a toe-rag," retorted James, smirking.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and pushed him out from behind the bench. "Shut up, Potter, before I hex you. Go get the ingredients."

James laughed to himself as he strolled over to the storeroom and collected the ingredients that they would need. He then went back to their bench and laid all the ingredients next to Lily. She had begun to stir their potion which had just changed color red.

"James, can you distill the Honeywater and chop the mint sprigs?" Lily asked, keeping her eye on their cauldron.

James immediately set out to his task, while Lily continually stirred their potion. When their potion had turned green, James wordlessly handed Lily a vial of the Honeywater which she slowly added. Immediately, the liquid turned pink. James stirred the potion while Lily rationed out the stewed Mandrake and the Syrup of Hellebore.

Lily peered over James' shoulder as the potion turned orange. She grabbed her knife and scooped a generous amount of mint sprigs into the potion, turning it green. James continued to stir, occasionally referring to his textbook to keep track of the protocol.

As Lily prepared to add the stewed Mandrake to the potion, James's eye reread a certain paragraph, his eyes drawn to a particular passage. Something about _mint sprigs..._

"Lily, no!"

James grasped her wrist and pulled it away from the boiling potion. Lily looked at him, her eyes wide and her heart pumping frantically in her chest.

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked, her hands still curled around the Mandrake.

"We have to add the mint sprigs again before we add the Mandrake."

Understanding dawned in Lily's eyes as she reread the paragraph that James was referencing. James took the stewed Mandrake from her as she added more mint sprigs to the potion, turning it pink once again. They left the potion to heat as Lily steadied herself against the bench, her mind spinning.

"Merlin, I could've mucked up the entire thing. I don't even know what I was doing. I'm so sorry, James," she apologized.

"Come on, Lils. It was one mistake. Don't fret about it. It's not the end of the world."

Lily smiled at him weakly and he quipped, "Luckily, you have the best Potions partner in the universe."

She snorted, "And a very humble partner as well."

They completed the rest of the potion without any other incidents. When the potion finally turned a pleasant yellow, they waited a few more moments before it gave off some sparks, signaling that it had been brewed perfectly. James corked a sample of the potion, labeling it with his and Lily's names while Lily cleaned up the extra supplies with a short wave of her wand.

At the end of the period, Professor Slughorn collected the samples. He smiled kindly at Lily as she turned in their potion, "Perfect as always, Ms. Evans," and offered them full marks. Once he was through collecting everyone's samples, he gathered the attention of the class before they were dismissed.

"This week, your homework will be to write an essay about the experimental effects of the Volubilis potion with your partner. I will be providing you with a small vial of perfectly brewed potion. You will have to drink it and write a 36-inch essay about the effects that were observed. Please come up to the front and collect your potion sample. You are dismissed!"

When Lily left James to get their potion vial, James couldn't keep the grin off of his face as he processed what their professor had just assigned. He would get to work with Lily _outside of class_. As much as he loved having to use academics as an excuse to talk to Lily, he also groaned at the prospect of writing a 36-inch essay.


	21. Chapter 21

Later that evening, Lily found James working on his Astronomy chart in the Heads Common Room. She dropped her bag next to her feet and sunk into the couch next to him. James gave her a small smile as he continued working on his chart.

Interested, Lily peered over his shoulder to try and make out the unfamiliar lines. As James referenced his textbook, Lily watched as he diligently added new lines to his chart, making sure to mark the points of intersection with his quill.

As James reached up to ruffle his hair, Lily's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, "Stop that."

James frowned at her as she sighed, "I hate it when you do that. You're probably going to be bald in the next six months if you don't stop."

"Don't you worry about me being bald. I've got those Potter genes."

"It's a miracle your parents managed that mess." Lily gestured to his hair.

"Oh, trust me, they tried. It's actually pretty ironic, actually."

Lily turned to him, confused. "What's ironic?"

James gave her a small smile. "My dad invented Sleekeazy's."

Lily gaped at him. " _Sleekeazy's Hair Potion? The_ Sleekeazy's Hair Potion?"

James rolled his eyes. "There's only one."

"But- but- you- your hair- _how?_ " floundered Lily, searching for the best question to ask.

"Oh, my father tried, but I was always his only failed experiment. He always loved that, though. He said that every successful product should have at least one failure." James smiled.

"' _Two drops tames even the most bothersome barnet...'."_ Lily hummed the signature slogan of the potion.

"Yes, I know, people teased me about that for the longest time, but I never minded. I hated that slogan, but it was the reason I was able to live so comfortably, so I never really complained."

Lily's smile slid off her face as she realized what he was saying. "Your family is rich because of Sleekeazy's?"

James nodded absentmindedly, as he filled in the lines on his chart.

Lily straightened up and grabbed his arm. "James! You should have told Slughorn! He loves people with connections... you're perfect!"

James gave her a small smile. "Oh, Slughorn did try to recruit me to his Slug Club."

"What? What happened?"

James sighed. "I fed him some lie about how my father wasn't _the_ Fleamont Potter from Sleekeazy's."

"Why would you say that?" Lily asked, confused.

James finally turned to look at her, focusing on her green eyes. "I never wanted to be chosen for something because my father was famous. I wanted to do it on my own merit, like you, Lily. You had no connections in the Wizarding World, but look at how far you've come, Ms. Head Girl. Anyways, it turns out I was never a Potions prodigy, so I don't feel like I lost out on anything."

Lily's cheeks warmed as she looked at her lap, embarrassed.

"Don't be shy, Lils. You deserve everything you've achieved."

Lily laughed. "Shut up, Potter. You're not good for my ego. I don't want to end up with a big head like you."

James reached out to twirl her long red locks between his fingers. "I guess we could always try Sleekeazy's on you. My father always said that he got 'unique results' on redheads."

Lily gasped as she pushed his hand away from her hair. "Don't you dare, I'm not letting that potion anywhere near me."

James put his hand to his chin in mock thought. "I am next in line to inherit the business. I could always bring home a few extra bottles for you."

James froze as he realized what he said. He had implied that they would be _living together_ in the future. _Nice going, James, you've mucked up this entire friendship_. His eyes searched her face, gauging her anger.

But, Lily didn't seem to mind at all. She simply laughed him off. "Let's focus on the potion you actually have access to right now," she said as she produced a small vial of their Volubilis Potion.

James groaned, having forgotten about their Potions assignment. He pulled out his wand and murmured, " _Geminio!"_ , producing a duplicate copy of the vial.

"Let's get this over with," said James, clinking his vial with Lily's. He popped the cork off and downed the entire potion in one go.

The potion burned as it went down his throat, causing James to cough. A tingling sensation spread out from the back of his neck to his arms. Suddenly, James' throat felt very dry, like he was dehydrated, then immediately felt as if his throat were on fire. He clenched the arms of the sofa as the feeling slowly subsided. Next to him, Lily had tightened her grip on her vial, her knuckles white, as she too swallowed the potion.

James reached out and unclenched her hands, silently asking if she was alright. Lily gave him a small nod, quirking her eyebrow at him. She gestured to him, wanting him to speak first.

"Er- What am I supposed to say?" asked James, his eyes widening as he heard his own garbled voice.

Lily's own eyes widened as she pressed a hand to her mouth, stifling the giggles. James looked the same- unruly hair, glasses askew- but his voice had changed. Instead of his normally smooth voice, he had taken on a southern American drawl, dragging out the end of his sentence. Lily almost expected him to get up, put on a cowboy hat, mount a horse, and go to the rodeo.

"Merlin's beard!" James crowed, his hand at his throat, trying to figure out what was wrong with his voice.

"James! Oh my goodness!" laughed Lily, rolling off of the couch onto the floor.

However, Lily wasn't immune to the effects of the potion. Her own light voice has been altered to the voice of an elderly woman, all gravely and feeble. When she heard her new voice, she locked eyes with James in shock, her cheeks turning red.

"You sound like my grandmother!" guffawed James, clutching his chest.

"I don't know whether to laugh at your voice or cry over mine!" crooned Lily, exasperatedly.

"Yours is definitely worse than mine," drawled James.

"Is not!" exclaimed Lily, kicking his shin.

James stared at her. "Did you just _kick_ me?"

Lily met his eyes defiantly. "Yes, because you were being a prat."

James narrowed his eyes. " _Tsk, tsk,_ Lily. You should know that grandmothers aren't allowed to say things like that." He pushed his Astronomy chart to the side as he eyed her from the couch.

"I'm not your grandmother! I'm- _AHH!_ "

Lily shrieked as James leaped at her from the couch onto the floor, throwing his entire body weight on top of her.

"Geroff me, you idiot! I can't breathe!" She pounded on his chest feebly, but it was no use.

"Nuh-uh!" he said, pushing himself up onto his forearms, "Not until you admit that your voice is worse than mine."

"Never!" cried Lily, as she gave him one last desperate shove.

James sighed and rolled off of her, onto his back. "It's almost unfair that you sound like that. It would be a crime to attack a grandmother."

Lily turned to him, leaning her head against her elbow. "I swear to Merlin, if you call me 'grandmother' one more time, Potter..." she trailed ominously, her eyes boring into his.

James gave her a weak smile as he realized how close he was to her. If he leaned forward, he could easily capture her lips with his. Of course, he wasn't going to _do_ it, but he was definitely thinking about it.

James shook his head and broke eye contact with her. "How long d'you reckon this potion's gonna last?"

Lily frowned, surprised at the abrupt change in subject. "Er- I dunno. I think the textbook said a few minutes or something. It depends on the way the potion was brewed, too."

"I miss my own voice," whined James.

"Keep your mouth shut, then. No one likes hearing you talk anyways," Lily smirked.

"Oh, really, Evans? I thought you loved hearing me talk. I mean, I guess I really-" James abruptly cut himself off as he felt a large weight in his throat. He cleared his throat awkwardly, multiple times, but it just wouldn't go away.

"See, that's what you get for bothering me," Lily retorted. Suddenly, she too felt her throat closing in. Her hands jumped to her throat, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"What just happened?" asked James. Then, he stopped and smiled, "My voice is back!"

"Phew, I'm glad that's over!" said Lily, reveling in the return of her own voice.

"Well, it's not my fault you sounded like a grandmother," jested James.

In an instant, Lily had whipped out her wand and held it at the base of his throat. James, startled, opened his mouth in surprise.

"I warned you, James Potter. I am not a grandmother."

James nodded vigorously, eyeing Lily's wand hesitantly. Lily stared at him, his hazel eyes wide with fear and confusion. He looked so _scared_ , and Lily couldn't keep it in anymore. She laughed.

"Oh my god, you should have seen your face!" snickered Lily, "You looked like a deer in headlights."

She removed her wand from his throat but continued to laugh, clutching her stomach. She rolled around on her back, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

"You- you-" Lily couldn't even finish as she burst into another fit of laughter.

James just stared at her, incredulously. He didn't know what had gotten into her, but she looked so _happy,_ so full of life, that James didn't have the heart to stop her. He just stared at her until she had finally exhausted herself.

With tears still in her eyes, Lily pushed herself off of the floor and offered her hand to James. She missed the way his smile hesitantly drooped as he grabbed her hand and hauled himself off the floor.

_________________________

The next day, when James and Lily walked into the Library to complete their Potions paper, they found their friends sitting together, deep in the midst of an argument.

"Shut it, Black. I'm telling you that Binns could definitely take down Madam Pince in a duel. Back me up here, Remus," Mary said, turning her head to look at Remus.

Remus looked up from his textbook, clearly uncomfortable to be brought into the argument. "Err...," he stalled, brightening when he saw Lily and James, "Hey James, Lily!"

James and Lily took a seat at the table currently occupied by Remus, Sirius, Peter, Alice, and Mary. Lily looked at Remus, confused, but he just shook his head, silently telling her not to get involved.

"James, we're trying to decide who would win in a duel: Professor Binns or Madam Pince. What d'you think?" asked Peter.

"Er-," said James, stealing a glance at Lily, "I'm Head Boy, I don't think it would be appropriate."

"Go on, answer the question, Potter," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, well then definitely Professor Binns. He'd probably bore Madam Pince to death."

"See! I told you, Black," exclaimed Mary, smirking with pride.

"Hold on, that's bollocks. Madam Pince would definitely win. Have you seen how angry she gets when someone brings food into the library?" countered Lily.

"And that is why Evans is my favorite," concluded Sirius.

"You know, that's not really a compliment coming from you," retorted Lily, opening her textbook.

"No offense, Lily, but Madam Pince may be scary, but I don't even think she knows how to hold a wand. She's got her nose stuck in books all day long," Alice chimed in.

"Exactly!" said James, "Binns has eons of knowledge of battle techniques."

"Pince is such a skilled witch! Remember the time she hexed my inkpot to shatter after I accidentally got some ink on a book?" said Sirius.

Remus snorted. "Don't try to play the victim, Sirius. We all know that you were probably writing something obscene."

Lily laughed. "Ok, Remus, tell us what you think. Who would win, boring old Professor Binns or maniac librarian Madam Pince?"

Before Remus could even answer, Madam Pince rounded the corner, her eyes narrowing as she overheard their conversation. Lily gulped, her face reddening.

" _OUT! All of you! OUT!_ This is a library, not a gossip hall!" screeched Madam Pince as she shooed them out of the library.

Lily barely had time to roll up her parchment and James shoved everything into his bag. Remus sighed as he slammed his textbook shut, realizing he didn't get any work done. The rest of them gathered their belongings as they ran out of the library.

Once they were safely in the corridor, Lily leaned against the wall, catching her breath, as she let her schoolbag drop to the floor.

"I can't believe Madam Pince heard me!" said Lily, burying her head in her hands, "She probably hates me since I called her a maniac librarian!"

"Ah, Lily, you'll survive," Sirius said, sidling up to her.

"Plus, we actually know something now," added Peter.

Lily looked at him, confused. "What do we know?"

Peter smiled. "Madam Pince would _definitely_ win."


	22. Chapter 22

"I'm late! I'm late!" Lily cursed, as she flew down the stairs towards the Charms classroom.

She wasn't late for Charms, per se. She was late for meeting Professor Flitwick for her private lessons. This was her third lesson and she was getting increasingly frustrated. Professor Flitwick, bless his soul, was very patient with her. However, Lily needed to see results and so far, she had just managed to wiggle her wand from where it was sitting. She knew wandless magic was advanced, but Lily thought that she was talented enough to make _some_ progress.

Lily flew into the Charms classroom, panting.

"You're late, Miss Evans," said Flitwick, glancing up at her from his desk where he was grading papers.

"I'm so sorry, Professor."

"Shall we get started?"

"Of course."

Lily placed her wand on the desk in front of her and walked towards the back of the classroom. She took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on her wand and only her wand.

_"Accio!"_

Nothing. The wand stayed put on the desk.

"Miss Evans, remember what I told you. You must focus on the core of your wand. Think of your wand as an extension of your being. Your wand is a part of you. Concentrate deeply on just that. You must push out all other thoughts because they will merely be distractions."

Lily nodded and steeled herself again. She practiced summoning her wand for the next hour. She concentrated on her wand, but she found she couldn't. Her wand refused to budge today, even though she had tried multiple times.

"Professor, I can't!" Lily exclaimed, sinking into a chair.

"Miss Evans-"

"I give up! I can't do it! It's probably because I'm muggle-born," Lily conceded, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Miss Evans, that is the worst excuse I have ever heard. I told you that this would be difficult, did I not? You have to be patient and concentrate. Remember, you've done this magic before when you were underage. You just have to reach into those deep vestiges and channel that magic towards a cause."

"That's easy for you to say, Professor. You're one of the most skilled duelists of our time! I'm just a... nobody." She buried her head in her hands.

"Miss Evans, have I ever told you about my time at Hogwarts? I'm sure you know that I was sorted into Ravenclaw, but my school days were not as easy as I wished they would be. You see, Miss Evans, you and I have something in common. We were both persecuted for things outside of our control. You, of course, for being Muggle-born. But, I was bullied for being half-goblin."

Lily looked up at her favorite professor with surprise. Flitwick's short stature was a topic of interest to most of the students at Hogwarts, but Lily had never cared. She deeply respected Professor Flitwick for his knowledge and his kindness. In fact, Lily realized that Flitwick was someone she looked up to greatly.

"Anyways, Miss Evans, let's cut our lesson short today. I'll see you again on Thursday at 7 pm. Please don't be late."

Lily nodded and bid farewell to him, her mind churning with everything she had just learned. However, this only made her more determined. She knew that she would never quit until she had learned wandless magic.

Lily checked her watch and realized that she would be early to meet Dorcas in the library, so she ran up to her dorm to grab her Ancient Runes translation. She could work on it while she waited for Dorcas. She grabbed her sheath of parchment and her textbook, walking towards the portrait hole. She heard it open and in clambered James, all muddy from his Quidditch practice.

"Hey."

"Oh hey, Lils. Whatchu up to?"

"Er- I'm going to the library to finish up my Runes translation."

"Oh, that's great. By the way, I wanted to tell you, we should try to schedule the next Prefect meeting soon. Let me know when you get back and we can try and figure out a good time."

"I'll be back late tonight. I have rounds with Jones tonight."

"That's fine, just let me know what works best for you. I'm going to go take a shower."

Lily nodded and scampered out of the portrait hole. She knew her face was red and her pulse was beating fast. Every time she saw him, the same thing happened. And tonight, with his hair sticking up with mud, Lily wanted to... She shook her head. They were _just friends_.

She realized that she _liked_ spending time with James. Of course, she didn't necessarily fancy him just yet, but she enjoyed her evenings holed up in the library with him. He was smart, in his own way, and he always found a way to make her laugh. 

Lily found her usual spot in the library and sat down. It had been a long day and she just wanted to get some of her work done. She opened up her textbook and found the text she needed to translate. She dipped her quill in a well of ink and began to work.

A while later, Dorcas pulled up to her spot and sat down across from her with a sigh. Lily looked up and gave the girl a kind smile.

"Hey, Lily."

"Hey, Dorcas! How have you been?"

"Awful. I have so much work! I feel like I'm drowning in essays," Dorcas groaned, slumping further into her chair.

Lily laughed. "Oh trust me, it gets much worse. Be happy you don't have to study for NEWTs yet."

Dorcas sat up straight. "How do you do it, Lily? I mean you're Head Girl and you still get amazing grades. I can barely breathe with all of this work."

"You know what? Come with me. We're going to do something else today. We can afford to skip one tutoring session," Lily said, grabbing the younger girl's hand.

Lily slung her schoolbag around her shoulder and led Dorcas out of the library. Lily knew what it was like to be overly stressed with schoolwork and she had always wished someone had shown her how to cope with it. She found out how to destress herself, but she didn't want Dorcas to feel left alone.

"Where are we going?" asked Dorcas, as Lily led her farther and farther away from the library.

"It's a surprise! But, we're going to make a short stop on the way there."

Lily dragged Dorcas past the Great Hall, down the staircase that led to the Hufflepuff dormitories. She remembered when James had brought her here, their first night at Hogwarts. She smiled softly... things had really changed since then.

They stopped in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit. Lily racked her brain. _What did James do to make the door open?_

"Um, Lily? Are we just going to stand here?"

"No! I mean, I'm just trying to remember... Oh! Wait!" Lily reached out and tickled the pear in the painting. Dorcas stared at Lily like she was mad, but suddenly, the pear transformed into a small, green handle. Lily grasped the handle and pushed it open.

Dorcas stood in awe as she peered into the Hogwarts Kitchens. Lily walked in and looked back at Dorcas, gesturing her to follow. Inside, hundreds of house elves were bustling around, cleaning dishes and preparing food.

"Miss Evans! How are you? It's been so long!" said a small house elf.

"You've been here before?" asked Dorcas, incredulously. She never expected Lily to break school rules.

"Yes, of course! Hello, Squeaky. It's so good to see you again."

"You brought a friend? Where's Mister Potter?"

Lily blushed. "Uh, he's not here. This is Dorcas. We were wondering if we could grab a small treat."

"But, of course! What would you like?"

"Pudding! I mean if that's alright," said Dorcas, sheepishly.

"That's no problem! And, for you Miss Evans?"

"I'll take a piece of carrot cake. And could you pack up some treacle tarts? To go?"

"Of course, Miss Evans!"

Once they had gathered their desserts, Lily and Dorcas bid goodbye to Squeaky and the other house elves.

"Where to now?" asked Dorcas, after taking a spoonful of pudding.

Lily just smiled and led Dorcas through the hallways and up various staircases. At long last, they arrived at the Astronomy Tower, which was deserted save for them. Lily quickly climbed the stairs while Dorcas followed her silently. Lily went straight to the edge of the Tower, leaning her elbows on the brick balcony. Dorcas stayed behind, shuffling her feet, uncertainly.

"Uh, Lily? What are we doing here?"

"Come, I want to show you something," Lily said, beckoning her over.

Dorcas came and stood next to her, tilting her head up to look at the dark sky. The night sky was dark, with stars twinkling above them. Dorcas was rubbish at Astronomy, so she couldn't identify any of the constellations in the sky. Dorcas looked at Lily out of the corner of her eyes and saw the older girl staring at the sky with a small smile.

"I used to come here when I was younger. Especially when all the work began to pile up. I love it here. It's just the sky and the stars and me," said Lily, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Are you particularly skilled at Astronomy?"

"Ha! Absolutely not! I never cared for the subject because it tends to overanalyze the sky too much. For me, it has always been so simple. The sky and the universe together reminded me of how insignificant my problems are compared to everything else. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, we are so small. There are much bigger things happening outside the walls of Hogwarts."

"Thanks for showing me this, Lily."

Lily looked at the younger girl. "Of course! We all need a place to cool off sometimes. Anyways, I have to run. I have rounds. Feel free to stay here as long as you need to."

Lily patted Dorcas' arm and descended the stairs of the Tower. She met up with Jones and together, they completed their rounds. Jones was a new fifth-year Prefect. James and Lily had decided to take turns and accompany the new Prefects on their rounds, just to make them feel more comfortable.

That night, rounds were pretty uneventful. They found a few first years out of bed, but Lily sent them away with a warning. She hated giving out detentions to the younger kids and didn't want to intimidate them any further. When they finished their rounds for the night, Lily bid her partner a good night and entered the Heads Common Room.

The fire was crackling in the hearth nearby, but other than that, it was completely quiet. Lily suspected that James had turned in early and she was sure he was exhausted from his Quidditch practice. She fished around her bag and found the stack of treacle tarts Squeaky had given her. She left them out on the counter and wrote him a small note.

_James-_

_I had a little adventure of my own tonight and I know these are your favorites!_

_Lily_


	23. Chapter 23

James blew his whistle, signaling his players to stop and round up. It had been a long practice and James had to get to a Prefect meeting soon.

"What's up, Captain?" asked Lina.

"This has been a disaster. Wilson! How many times do I have to tell you? You have to _catch_ the Quaffle. And Thompson! You and Sirius have to coordinate your strikes and aim so that you can actually _hit_ someone. Chris, we need you to find the snitch faster. Our first match is against Slytherin and they play dirty. The quicker you find the snitch, the quicker the game ends. Coalson, I need you to practice the Starfish and Stick tactic so you can block more goals. Lina, you and I need to practice those formations I showed you the other night." James ran his hand through his hair, exasperated.

"James, you have to lighten up. We're trying our best!" said Sirius, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Well, it's not enough! I have to go to a Prefect meeting, but we'll have practice again tomorrow, same time. Be ready to be here for a few hours."

His team grumbled and walked towards the locker room. James checked his watch to make sure he could make the meeting. He took a quick shower and threw his robes on. He tried and failed to tie his tie so he left it hanging around his neck. He bid a quick goodbye to Sirius and ran to the empty classroom Lily had told him.

He opened the door and noticed that most of the Prefects were already there. He saw Lily standing in the corner of the room, pacing. She looked up when the door opened and James saw her visibly sigh, the tension easing out of her shoulders. James was still panting from running, but when she began to walk towards him, he could feel his heart thundering in his chest.

"Oh, thank Merlin. I thought I was going to have to do this myself," Lily told him.

James smirked at her, running his hand through his hair. "I would never leave you alone, Lils."

Lily rolled her eyes at him, but James saw the hint of a smile there.

"Ok, thank you so much for coming out, everyone. We're going to get started," Lily began, her voice echoing off the walls of the classroom.

"First order of business, we changed the schedule for rounds a bit, just to switch things up." Lily waved her wand and copies of the new patrol schedule landed in front of each Prefect.

James gave everyone a moment to look over the schedule before speaking. "Lily and I made these schedules based on our observations. But, if you would like to request a change, please talk to me or Lily after the meeting and we'll see what we can do."

"Ok, next, as Prefects, we're in charge of organizing the decorations for the Halloween feast that's coming up. We need people to sign up for shifts on the day of the feast to set up the decorations. However, if you can't make that day, we have other responsibilities for you as well," Lily continued.

"We'll be sending around a sign-up sheet at the end of the meeting so everyone can choose what they would like to do," added James.

A Ravenclaw prefect raised her hand. "Will we be excused from lessons if we help with the decorations on the day of the feast?"

"Well, we have yet to figure out the details, but yes, as of now, you can expect to be excused."

The meeting continued in the same way, with Lily and James clarifying information. The meeting lasted for less than half an hour, but by the end, James was feeling a bit exhausted. A few prefects stayed to ask them questions, but Lily answered most of them.

Once everyone had left, and it was just the two of them, James slumped into a chair, closing his eyes. He massaged his temples and sighed.

"Phew! That was exhausting. I could use one of those treacle tarts you left me the other night."

"Nuh-uh! You're going to get incredibly pudgy and I couldn't bear to look at you then," Lily joked.

James opened an eye. "Did you just call me fat, Evans?! I'll have you know I'm in peak physical condition."

Lily roved her eyes over his disheveled figure. "Mhmm, tell that to a mirror. You look horrid."

James stood up and walked over to her. "This," he said, pointing to himself, "doesn't come easily. I'm naturally handsome."

"At least knot your tie, you idiot," Lily tutted, sitting on the desk in front of him.

She reached out and tugged on the ends of his tie, bringing him closer. James froze as she began to expertly loop the tie around his neck. He looked down at her, the crease between her eyebrows and her mouth slightly upturned, showing the shadow of a smile. He gulped as her fingers brushed across his neck. As she finished the last knot, she gently tugged it up towards the base of his throat.

She brushed her hands across his shoulders, swiping away the imaginary dirt, and smiled up at him, "All done."

"How'd you learn how to do that?" he asked, amazed.

Lily placed her hands on his shoulders and said, "Come on, James. I grew up in a muggle household. But also, I've had to tie a tie for my uniform every day for the past seven years. I think I would know how to knot my own tie."

"Oh."

She was too close to him, it made it hard to think. All he could see were her brilliant green eyes and her bright red hair. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt dizzy. Her hands were still on his shoulders and James could practically feel the warmth radiating off of her.

He leaned down, closing the gap between them. James heard Lily's breath hitch in her throat and she laced her fingers to the back of his neck. His arms came down on either side of her, caging her in. James could hear her short breaths and a sweet smell floated up to his nose. Their lips were just millimeters apart.

Suddenly, Lily shifted beneath him. She placed both hands on his arms and forcefully pushed him away. She slid off of the desk and crossed her arms, angrily.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked, her eyes flashing.

"Am I imagining things or is there something going on here?" James asked, gesturing to the space in between them.

Lily gaped at him. "Of course not!"

James could feel his temper fraying. "Lily, come on."

"We're just friends. And friends don't try to kiss each other."

"Exactly! We're not meant to be just friends," James said, running his hand through his hair.

"I knew it! You just won't stop, will you? I told you. I'm not interested!"

"You were interested a few moments ago."

She gasped and shoved him angrily into the desk. James cursed as he banged his knee on the desk.

"Lily-"

"Just leave me alone! God! I actually thought this 'friends' thing would work out. But I should've known better. You're always going to be the same arrogant prick I met seven years ago!" she shouted at him, as she shouldered her schoolbag.

"LILY!" James thundered.

Lily stopped and stared at him. His heart was pounding frantically in his chest from all the adrenaline that was flowing through his veins. He leaned over the desk, breathing hard.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. "What do you want from me?" he croaked, defeated.

"I don't know! Can you just act normal, for Merlin's sake?"

"Lily, I'm not going to change who I am just for you. I am who I am. I know that I can't just be friends with you, Lily Evans. I'm crazy about you and you know that."

"No! No means no! Why can't you understand that?"

"Then why the hell are you toying with me?" James scoffed, "You know, that's the only thing you're good at... playing with people's emotions. At least I've tried to become a better person. You're still the same boring stick in the mud."

The minute he said it, he wished he could take it back. Lily narrowed her eyes and took a step back from him. She then straightened up and walked past him, but not before stopping in front of him.

"I hate you, James Potter."

James tried to grab her wrist, just to stop her, but she wriggled out of his grasp. She threw him one last look of disgust as she opened the door and walked out of the classroom.


	24. Chapter 24

By the next morning, the entirety of Hogwarts knew that something had happened between Lily Evans and James Potter. They barely looked at each other and when one of them entered a room, the other one would make some excuse and make a beeline for the exit. No one exactly knew what had happened, but the Hogwarts rumor mill had definitely crafted some interesting stories.

"I heard Potter caught her with Sirius. I mean, can you imagine? Going after the bloke's best mate? No wonder they're not talking."

"Oh really? I heard from a Hufflepuff that she slapped him for trying to get her to cheat on their next exam."

"That's bollocks! Apparently, James was smuggling firewhiskey from Hogsmeade and she found him completely plastered."

Honestly, Lily didn't pay much heed to the rumors. Whatever happened was between her and James, and she didn't care what other people thought. In fact, she was still recovering from everything. She had told Mary and Alice about what had happened, but they didn't understand what she was going through. They supported her through everything, but this was something Lily realized she would have to face alone.

It was hard not having James to talk to, but Lily had made her decision. They just weren't right for each other. They were both polar opposites and they could barely get through a conversation without finding _something_ to disagree about.

The past few weeks, however, Lily had gotten a chance to really know James. He was smart and passionate, especially about Quidditch. He was incredibly loyal, which sometimes got on Lily's nerves, but she definitely respected him for it. He was also great at being Head Boy, Lily had to admit. Even though she knew Quidditch took up most of his time, he was always ready to help her with patrol schedules. They were a good team, rotating responsibilities and working through each other's busy schedules.

Nevertheless, Lily couldn't see James as anything more than a good friend and a colleague. She didn't want to risk anything unnecessarily. Everything was working out perfectly, but James had to go and ruin it by trying to kiss her. Lily still remembered the look in his hazel eyes when he had leaned in. Lily's stomach had knotted up and her heart jumped to her throat. He was just so...

No. _You can't do this to yourself,_ Lily told herself. She shook her head as she resumed her walk towards the Defense classroom with Mary and Alice by her side.

"Lily, you've been awfully quiet. What's going on?" Alice asked.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing, I'm just, uh, trying to think if, erm, I missed an ingredient for my Potions essay," Lily fibbed, awkwardly.

Mary raised her eyebrows quizzically but didn't say anything.

As Lily rounded the corner, she must not have been paying attention because she came face to face with the one person she didn't want to see.

She stiffened as her eyes met his. He was in the middle of telling a joke, his eyes alight with mirth, but his smile faltered when he saw her. James lifted his hand to his hair, but thought better of it, and shoved his hands in his pockets. Lily's heart started beating frantically in her chest, and she was sure her face was the color of a tomato.

Standing next to James, Sirius cleared his throat, and Remus elbowed him in the gut.

"Hi, Mary, Alice, Lily," Peter squeaked, breaking the silence.

"Hey, Peter. We're actually trying to get to class, so we'll just squeeze past you," Alice replied, grabbing Lily's arm and trying to push her around the four boys. But Lily was frozen, her feet glued to the ground. Her eyes hadn't left James' face, and he was staring back at her intently.

Sirius snapped his fingers in front of Lily's face. "Earth to Evans."

Lily started and stepped back, blinking. "Er, I have to go," she gasped, her throat closing up.

"Lily."

"Don't! Don't you dare." Lily rounded on him, narrowing her eyes. James frowned, an ugly crease forming between his eyebrows.

"Lily, listen to me-"

"I have class," Lily cut him off, shortly. She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and pushed past the four boys, Mary and Alice trailing behind her.

As Lily's heartbeat began to return to normal, her thoughts, once again, returned to James. She couldn't stop thinking about him, no matter how hard she tried. She hated herself for it because he was nothing but trouble. But, deep down, Lily realized that there was only _one_ reason that she refused to associate herself with him. And that one reason was why she would avoid him at all costs.  
\------------------------------------------  
That weekend, Lily woke up completely energized. It was a Hogsmeade weekend and she was ready to get away from James and just spend the afternoon with her friends. No schoolwork, no Head duties, no Head Boy, and no almost-kisses.

Lily met up with Mary in the Great Hall and both girls made their way towards the small village, the October chill seeping into their bones. Lily wrapped her arm around Mary's and clung to her to share in any warmth she could find. Today, it was just the two of them since Alice had gone off with Frank earlier.

"So Lils, what's the plan for today?"

"Butterbeer and warmth. That's all I ask for."

"Wow Lils, you are _so_ high maintenance," Mary joked, rolling her eyes.

Lily laughed. "Oh please, at least I'm not as bad as you. ' _Oh, Thomas, would you be so kind as to buy me a pint of butterbeer? I promise I'll make it up to you,'"_ Lily mocked, raising her brows suggestively.

"Oh, shut up. I did make it up to him, though," Mary said, slyly.

"Ugh! That's gross. I did not need to know that!" Lily cried, indignantly.

Mary laughed and quickly tickled her friend in the side. Lily shrieked and detangled herself from Mary, trying not to laugh.

"Last one there pays for butterbeers!" Lily told Mary as she sprinted off. Mary grumbled something behind her that sounded suspiciously like " _Cheater!"_ but Lily was too far away to care.

She ran. The cold air stung her cheeks, but it didn't matter. Lily ran away from Mary and her problems. She could care less about her relationship with James or her ever-failing lessons with Professor Flitwick. She pumped her legs through the air, her hair flying in a red mass behind her. She was free and completely detached.

Of course, like all good things, it had to end. Lily panted as she came to a stop outside the Three Broomsticks, her chest heaving from exhaustion. She looked behind her and saw Mary pushing students out of her way, trying to catch up to Lily. Lily smirked as Mary collided with her, her cheeks flushed.

"Why would you do that to me, Lily? You know I hate any type of physical activity," Mary complained, trying to catch her breath. Lily just laughed in response.

"Lily! Hey, how are you?"

Lily turned around and saw David Carter standing at the entrance of the Three Broomsticks, surrounded by a group of Ravenclaws. Lily waved politely and turned back to face Mary, but David began to make his way over to them.

"David," Lily greeted, flatly.

"Come join us, Lily. We're just going to grab some butterbeer," David said, pointing to his group of friends.

Lily frowned. She wanted to spend the day with Mary, not a group of Ravenclaws she barely knew. "Um, actually, Mary and I were-"

"No excuses. Come on, we barely got to talk at the Slug Club meeting. Let's catch up," he said, steering Lily and Mary towards the door. Lily shot Mary an apologetic look, but Mary just smiled and shook it off.

Lily reluctantly followed the group inside, sighing as the warmth of the pub enveloped her. David led her and Mary towards a booth toward the back. Lily was taken aback at the sheer amount of people at the table. Usually, when she went to Hogsmeade, it was just Mary and Alice, so it was surprising to see almost all of the seventh year Ravenclaws at the table.

However, Lily graciously accepted David's kindness when he handed her a warm butterbeer. She sipped it cautiously, reveling in the sweet, buttery taste. She listened to the snippets of conversation around her, mainly discussing the ethicality of using the Unforgivable Curses. David occasionally smiled at her from across the table, but he was too engrossed in the conversation himself.

Eventually, David noticed Lily and Mary looking a bit out of place. "Hey, guys, let's try to be more inclusive of our guests. So... Mary, right? Do you know what you want to do after you graduate Hogwarts?"

Mary smiled at him. Lily knew Mary was super passionate about her dream and could talk about it for ages. "Actually, yes, I do. I want to open a school for wizards. Not like Hogwarts or anything. I could never compete with that. But something for the younger kids. Lily and I are both muggle-born so it was really hard for us to fit in immediately with all the other kids who had known each other through their families. I want to get wizarding kids together and have them become friends with each other, without any of the blood purity propaganda."

"Wow, that's actually pretty impressive. So, how do you plan to..." David continued, asking Mary various questions.

The rest of the Ravenclaw bunch were also very interested in the feasibility of Mary's school and peppered her with questions. Lily saw Mary shining with happiness as she answered all the questions with a degree of pride. Lily began to tune out, tracing her fingers over the patterns carved into the table.

The bell above the door rang, and Lily immediately sat straight up as a familiar group of boys walked in. The color drained out of her face as she heard _his_ voice. She turned around, almost imperceptibly, as she saw James point over to a booth on the far side of the room. He hadn't seen her.

"Lily? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," Mary said, her voice laced with concern.

"I'm fine. I just have to go buy some parchment. I'll meet you back here," Lily mumbled as she dashed out of the pub.

Lily pushed open the door to Tomes and Scrolls, her heart still beating. She was so pathetic. She couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him. She hated this feeling of confusion every time she saw him.

She moved away from the door, scanning the rows of products for the brand of her favorite parchment. She inhaled deeply, running her finger along the spine of books. She loved this particular store because of its fresh smell. She could spend all day here if she wanted to.

Lily didn't know how long it had been, but she realized she would have to meet up with Mary soon, so as not to worry her friend unnecessarily. She grabbed a few sheaths of parchment, just to last her through the next Hogsmeade visit and was about to make her way towards the cash register.

Suddenly, the door opened and James Potter walked in. He accidentally bumped into a small third-year girl, sending all of her packages sprawling over the floor.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. Let me get that for you," he said, his cheeks flushing as he bent over and grabbed the packages, handing them back to the girl with an apologetic smile.

Lily realized she was ogling at him, so she quickly backed up and hid behind one of the many bookshelves. Her blood was roaring in her ears as she tried to stay out of sight until he was gone.

Unfortunately, Lily seemed to have the worst luck in the world as she realized he was coming straight towards her. _Of course,_ she thought as she quietly scurried to the other side of the bookshelf.

James had stopped on the opposite side of the bookshelf, his eyes roaming over the titles of various books. Lily silently observed him, through a gap in the shelf. _What was it with her staring at him through shelves?_ His hair was sticking up in every direction and his glasses were perched precariously at the end of his long nose.

When he picked a book and began leafing through it, Lily eyed his long fingers, delicately turning the pages. His eyes were scrunched as if his glasses weren't really helping. She heard his breath coming out in short puffs and watched the rise and fall of his chest. Her cheeks flushed as she realized she was _staring_ at him. She sunk to the floor, hugging her knees, as she heard the unmistakable sounds of his footsteps getting farther and farther away.

Lily didn't release the breath she was holding until she heard the bell of the shop ring, signaling his departure. Her skin was flushed and her heart was beating uncontrollably. Through all this, one thing became crystal clear for Lily.

She _definitely_ fancied James Potter.


	25. Chapter 25

James looked up from the essay he working on to see Remus slumped forward in his chair, his hands massaging his temples.

"Moony? Do you need me to get you anything?" James asked, patting his friend on the back.

Remus only groaned in response.

Remus looked horrid. His usually pale skin had taken on a grayish hue. His hair hung limply on his head, like mere strings. He was wrapped in a shawl because he was shivering so much. James hated seeing his friend like this. It was unfair that Remus had to go through this once a month. He deserved better.

Sirius looking up from where he was lounging, his dark brows creasing with concern. "Maybe we should-"

"I'm fine!" Remus shouted, causing them to flinch.

Peter's gaze darted back and forth between Sirius, James, and Remus while wringing his hands. He hated it when his friends fought because he had no idea whose side he should be on. Most of the time, though, the conflict usually resolved itself on its own.

James shared a look with Sirius and resumed working on his essay. All four of them were sitting in the Heads Common Room, waiting it out, until it was time to take Remus to the Shrieking Shack. Lily wasn't around, which was a relief to James because he knew that she would just ask more questions.

He knew that Lily was pissed at him, and she had every right to be. But, James also knew that she was in denial. Because, without a doubt, that night, after the Prefect's meeting, she had _wanted_ him to kiss her. And now, she refused to admit it, too blinded by fear or something else, James didn't know.

However, a while later, when Remus started coughing, James couldn't take it anymore. He got up and went into the kitchen to get Remus a glass of water. He heard the portrait hole open, but he was too focused on his task to pay any heed.

When he returned to the Common Room, he saw Lily kneeling at Remus' side, coaxing him gently (how had she gotten there?). James stared at her, open-mouthed, as she rubbed her hand across his shoulders. Sirius had gotten up and was standing in front of Remus. Peter stood awkwardly off to the side, unsure of what to do.

Lily whispered something to Remus, to which he shook his head. Lily tried to tell him something again, but Remus refused to listen. Lily sighed, exasperatedly, and looked at Sirius.

"Do something, Sirius!"

"What? What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know! Maybe you could-"

But Lily never got to finish that sentence. Right at that moment, Remus gagged and then proceeded to throw up.

...On Sirius' shoes.

"AHHHH!" Sirius screamed, staring at the muck on his shoes.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Lily said, as she waved her wand. Sirius visibly relaxed as his shoes became spotless once again.

Remus wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, grimacing at the foul taste in his mouth.

"Let me get you some water," Lily said, standing up.

"Here, I got some," James said, handing the glass of water to her.

Lily looked at him but quickly averted her eyes as she took the glass of water from him. She handed it to Remus, who took a large gulp of water and wrapped his shawl tightly around him.

"Remus, I hate to see you like this. Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" Lily asked him.

"It will pass eventually, Lily," Remus told her, shutting his eyes. He pressed the tips of his fingers to the bridge of his nose, trying his best to quell the headache.

Lily turned to the rest of them. "Are the lot of you just going to let him suffer? He's your best friend!"

James stepped towards her, his temper flaring. "Of course we want to do something! You may not believe this but I don't like seeing him like this either. We're doing the best we can and it would be best if you just mind your own business!"

Lily opened her mouth to retort, but Remus cut her off sharply. "Oh god, please don't start arguing. I have a splitting headache and it's only going to get worse."

Lily's eyes flicked over to James who was doing his best to avoid her. He took the glass out of Remus' hand and set it on the coffee table. Lily was quiet as she stared at his back, lost in her own thoughts.

"What are you even doing here anyway?" James asked her, shocking her out of her reverie, "Don't you have some dumb meeting?"

Lily bit her lip as she contemplated his question. She had been telling James that she had a Charms Club meeting whenever she met up with Professor Flitwick for her lessons. She didn't know why she hadn't told him what she was doing, but she just knew she wanted it to be her secret for now. Earlier that evening, she had finally figured out how to summon her wand from across the room, even though it only moved a few meters. It was still an accomplishment and internally, Lily was jumping with joy. Flitwick let her leave early that night just so she could get some rest and try again later.

"It, erm, got canceled," Lily lied, her face heating up.

James frowned at her but said nothing.

"We're going to take him to the Hospital Wing," Peter said, slinging one of Remus' arms around his shoulder. James took Remus' other arm and supported his weight.

James looked back at Sirius, decidedly ignoring Lily. "You coming, mate?"

Sirius' eyes flicked to Lily and then back to James. "I'll be there in a minute."

As James and Peter left with Remus slung between them, Sirius turned to Lily.

She held up her hand. "I don't want to hear it, Sirius."

Sirius sighed. "Lily, why are you doing this to him?"

Lily breathed in deeply before she spoke. "Because I don't have any other choice."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Sirius, I have my own reasons. I guess we both just don't want the same thing."

"That's bullshit. I see the way you look at him. Sometimes, I feel like the two of you don't even realize there are other people in the room. It's nauseating."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm in love with him? Because both you and I know that's not true."

"Lily, I just want you to give him a chance. He's a good person and he really cares about you. The least you could do is give the poor bloke a chance."

Lily dropped herself into a chair and paused before speaking, "I want to. I want to give him a chance. But, at the moment, I think we're better off being friends. Or whatever we are right now."

"Lily-"

She looked up at him, her eyes pleading, "Please, Sirius, I've given this a lot of thought and it's just best for everyone."

"Promise me you'll give him a chance whenever you're ready. Promise me."

Lily smiled at him, a genuine, kind smile. "Of course I will. I promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"I expect nothing less."

Sirius nodded and turned to leave, but Lily grabbed his sleeve at the last second.

"Promise me you'll be careful?"

He looked at her and saw her for what she truly was. A beautiful, kind, intelligent woman who truly cared about the people in her life. At that moment, Sirius saw why James was attracted to her. He was sure she didn't completely know what they did during the full moon, but he knew she was smart enough to figure out they didn't just sit in the Hospital Wing.

"I promise."

\-------------------------------------------

When James Potter burst through the door of the Heads Dormitory at three in the morning, he was exhausted beyond belief. He groaned as he eyed the long staircase up to his room.

However, his gaze swiveled to the center of the Common Room where a single candle burned. James limped towards the light and noticed that there was a piece of parchment and a glass of blue liquid. He scooped up the parchment and read Lily's small, cramped handwriting.

_Drink this._

James scoffed. Who did she think she was? He eyed the glass suspiciously and swirled the liquid around. He took a deep breath and downed the glass in one go.

Suddenly, he felt a wave of calmness wash over him. He was floating on a cloud and felt his worries dissipate. His eyelids began to droop and he dropped himself into the couch. His hands curled around a blanket. _How did this get here?_ he thought absentmindedly as he covered himself with it. His last thought was a silent thanks to Lily as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

Lily's eyes hesitantly roamed over the entirety of the Great Hall, trying to find her friends. She sighed in relief as she spotted Mary and Alice on the far side of the room, chatting quietly. As she made her way over to them, she quickly glanced over at the Slytherin side of the room, her heart clenching as she laid eyes on Severus.

He was deep in conversation with his other housemates, sliding a piece of parchment across the table. Lily couldn't make anything out since she was so far away, but she sighed and walked over to Mary and Alice.

 _He's not the same person you knew before,_ she reminded herself, clenching her jaw.

Lily dropped her textbook on the table and slung her schoolbag off of her shoulder, resting it on the bench. Alice smiled at her and Mary made room for her on the bench. Lily took her seat, flipping open her textbook.

"Hey, I need your help with Transfiguration. I can't seem to understand this unit on transfiguring ourselves to become more powerful. It seems like everything McGonagall says goes over my head these days."

"Trust me, Lily, if you don't know what's going on, I have no hope. I've just been writing whatever comes to my head, praying I don't get a T," confessed Mary.

Alice gasped. "Now, don't do that! How are you going to learn anything if you keep up that attitude?"

"I've pretty much given up. NEWT's aren't _that_ important, are they?" deadpanned Mary, but Lily knew she was just joking.

"Don't pay attention to her, Lils. Let's work through that theory together, I'm also having trouble understanding it," Alice said, reassuringly.

As Lily and Alice worked side by side, Mary worked on her Divination journal. Occasionally, Mary would groan as she tried to think of new creative ways to predict her future. Lily smiled to herself. She had really missed studying with her friends and she was glad she could spend some, albeit short, time with them.

At that exact moment, James Potter walked into the Great Hall, Remus by his side, shouldering his schoolbag. He didn't seem to notice Lily, but she had looked up from her notes, her eyes following him as he took a seat near the middle of the Hall. Of course, this did not escape the notice of Mary and Alice.

"Is there anything going on between you guys?" Mary asked.

"Between me and James? No, of course not!" replied Lily, hotly. She averted her eyes from his figure and reread the paragraph in her textbook.

"Lily, you have to admit, you are definitely closer to him than before," mentioned Alice, hesitantly.

"Yes, but that was before he was a complete arse to me!"

"So you agree that you were close to him _before_ he was an arse?" asked Mary, raising an eyebrow.

Lily felt her face go red and spluttered, "No, Mary! Of course not!"

Alice placed a hand on her arm, "Lily, it's okay if you fancy him. You don't have to prove anything to us."

Lily opened her mouth to retort, but then closed it again, realizing that she really needed someone to talk to. She didn't want to hide it from two of the people she trusted most.

"Okay, yes, I do fancy him," Lily conceded.

Her admission was met with a squeal from Alice and a slight nudge from Mary.

She felt a huge weight fall off of her chest as she tried her best to hide the smile on her face. Yes, she fancied James Potter. And why shouldn't she? It was clear that he was attractive, the majority of Hogwarts agreed on that count. But, for Lily, it was more than that. He was funny and charming and so so so kind. He didn't hesitate to speak his mind, whether it was for something trivial or serious. She genuinely enjoyed being around him because as arrogant as he was, she found him endearing.

"It's about time!" exclaimed Mary.

"When did this happen, Lily?" asked Alice, her face lit up with a smile.

"I dunno. I realized it at our last Hogsmeade visit," said Lily, "But, I don't want to date him or anything."

Alice frowned, "What? Why not?"

Lily sighed. "I- I just _can't._ We're so different, in more ways than one, and I-"

"But Lily, you fancy him! Poor boy has fancied you for as long as I can remember. Give him a chance!" interrupted Mary.

"Good god, you sound like Sirius," groaned Lily, burying her head in her textbook.

"Sirius? Sirius Black? You've discussed this with Sirius Black?!" gasped Mary.

"Not extensively... he just told me to give James a chance."

"And why aren't you going to give him a chance?" questioned Alice, a knowing look in her eyes.

"Because- well- because he was an arse to me!" Lily said, trying to find the right words.

"But you still fancy him?"

"Yes."

"And you refuse to date him?"

"Yes."

"If he asked you, right now, at this moment, would you say yes?" hypothesized Alice.

"This discussion is pointless because he obviously just sees me as a friend! He hasn't even asked me out at all this year."

"Well, he did try to kiss you, Lils. I don't think he's lost interest completely yet," Mary smirked.

"And right after, he proceeded to tell me I was manipulative and controlling!"

"Well-" began Mary, but Alice shushed her by giving her a pointed look.

"You're right, Lily. We trust you to sort it out yourself. But, Mary and I are always here for you if you ever need anything."

Lily sighed, grateful to Alice for knowing when to relent. Mary still looked like she had a few questions to ask, but instead, she focused on a figure behind Lily who was approaching their table.

Lily turned around and saw David Carter standing in front of them, his hands casually in the pockets of his robe.

"Hey, Lily. Mary," he said, nodding towards Mary. Mary gave him a small smile.

"Hello, David," said Lily, wondering why he had decided to come up to them.

"Er- I actually just had a quick favor to ask," started David, wringing his hands behind his back.

She shared a surprised look with Mary who said, "Of course, what is it?"

"Well, erm, I was wondering if I could get a copy of your Charms notes. I wasn't really paying attention and I know that Lily, you're brilliant at Charms."

There was a moment of tense silence as Lily processed what he just said.

When it seemed like Lily was not going to respond any time soon, Mary quickly began to ruffle through the papers in her bag. "Here, I have my copy. You can borrow them," she said, producing a sheath of parchment.

"Oh, thank you, Mary," David said, a shred of disappointment visible on his face.

Once David was out of earshot, Lily turned to Mary. "What was that about?"

"He wanted notes," said Mary, nonchalantly.

"What does he need notes for? He's a bloody Ravenclaw!"

"Why're you asking me? I dunno," Mary shrugged, returning to her journal.

Lily shared a look with Alice who just gave her a small smile and returned to her textbook. Lily shook her head and put the entire interaction to the back of her mind. Her gaze returned to James Potter, who was furiously writing on a piece of parchment, occasionally murmuring something to Remus beside him.

Lily sighed and went back to her work, pushing all thoughts of James Potter out of her mind.


	27. Chapter 27

James took a deep breath as he rapped his knuckles against the door.

"Come in," called a voice from the inside.

James cautiously opened the door to Professor McGonagall's office. She was seated at a desk in the center, a stack of papers in front of her. Her quill was in her hand, but she set everything aside and gestured for him to sit. James took the seat in front of her desk and awkwardly cleared his throat.

Professor McGonagall adjusted her spectacles as she pulled out a file from her desk drawer. "So, Mr. Potter, last time we spoke, in your fifth year, I believe you wanted to pursue a career as an Auror? Has that changed?"

James swallowed. "Uh, actually yes, it has. I wanted to speak with you about that because I honestly have no idea what I want to do."

McGonagall looked at him and set the file aside. "What made you change your mind, Potter?"

"Well, Professor, first of all, and it's pretty obvious, but my father wants me to take over Sleekeazy's as his only son. Of course, I don't want to do that, I mean I hate Potions for god's sake, but I also don't want to let him down because he's worked so hard to build that company. Also, I don't even know if I want to be an Auror because the training takes so long and I want to do something _now."_

"Mr. Potter, it is difficult to know what one wants to do with the rest of their lives at this point in time. I can see that you have put some thought into it. I suggest you continue to explore other possible careers. And, although the training to become an Auror is lengthy, I still believe that you shouldn't immediately dismiss the notion."

James sighed, "Professor, I don't know what else I could pursue. I've lived my whole life wanting to be an Auror. If I'm forced to take over my father's company, I would hate every minute of it."

"Potter, all I can do is suggest that continue to find careers that you are passionate about. When the time comes, I'm sure that things will work out. There are many different career paths that you can take with the NEWT level classes you are taking. As long as you are able to achieve at least an 'E' in all of them, you should be set. Of course, that will require you to focus harder on your classes."

"I understand, Professor. Thank you."

As James stood, Professor McGonagall called out to him, "And Potter, if you ever want to discuss your options further, my office is always open."

James nodded at his professor as he slung his bag over his shoulder. He shut the door behind him as the conversation with McGonagall echoed in his head.

He knew that his father wanted him to take over his company, but James had no interest in Potions. He grew up wanting to be an Auror, but after learning about the war raging on beyond the walls of Hogwarts, he realized that he wanted more.

James turned around and stopped, coming face to face with none other than Lily Evans. He saw her gulp as his eyes met hers.

"Hey, Lily," said James, running a hand through his hair.

"What're you doing here?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Er- same as you, I guess. Career counseling."

"Oh."

Both of them stood in uncomfortable silence as they each tried to figure out the fastest way to end the conversation.

"Er- so I better get going," said James, awkwardly, sidestepping behind her to get out of her way.

"Oh, yeah. How was it?" she asked him, gesturing to the closed door.

"Fine."

Lily nodded, wringing her hands as she stared at the door.

"Ok, well I have class soon. See you," said James, raising his hand in farewell.

But, Lily was already knocking on the door, not noticing him. She opened the door cautiously.

"Miss Evans, please, have a seat."

"Hello, Professor," greeted Lily as she sat down across from McGonagall. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well, Miss Evans, thank you. I believe during your fifth year we spoke about your ambition of becoming a Healer. Has that changed?"

Lily laughed. "Yes, it has changed. I _do not_ want to become a Healer anymore. I'm pretty sure I would be awful at it. I wanted to look into going into Magical Law Enforcement. Not as an Auror or anything like that, just more on the administration side. It's my goal to have a spot on the Wizengamot."

"Ms. Evans, that's a very ambitious goal. You do realize that it is very difficult to be admitted to the Wizengamot," commented Professor McGonagall, looking down at Lily from her spectacles.

Lily shifted hesitantly in her seat. "Er- I was also considering becoming a Potioneer as well. I'm pretty decent with potions."

"By no means did I mean to discourage you in your pursuit of the Wizengamot, Ms. Evans. I am merely stating that it is a very difficult position to obtain. If you continue to work hard, I am sure you will excel. On the other hand, I do know how gifted you are with Potions, thanks to Professor Slughorn. However, I see that you are not taking Herbology at the NEWT level, which would be required for a Potioneer."

"Right, okay so I guess that settles it. The Ministry it is, then," concluded Lily. She paused before continuing, "I erm- had a concern."

Her professor nodded for her to proceed.

Lily decided to just get it over with. "Is the Ministry going to hire a Muggle-born?"

She registered a brief flicker of surprise in McGonagall's eyes before she lowered her eyes, wringing her hands in her lap.

"Miss Evans, I believe you to be a very talented and brilliant witch." Lily blushed at the compliment.

McGonagall continued, "However, I refuse to allow you to believe the notion that you will not be able to obtain employment simply because of your blood status."

Lily glanced at McGonagall, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Professor, I hope you understand that I'm just looking for some honesty. I know I'm muggle-born. I know that we're not exactly people who are _wanted._ I'm worried about my future."

Minerva McGonagall's heart twinged for the young girl in front of her. Though, Lily Evans was no longer a girl anymore. No, she had become a woman right before Minerva's eyes. She had always had a soft spot for the bright witch, but at that moment, Minerva saw the one thing she had never seen in Lily Evans' eyes: fear.

McGonagall reached out at opened the top of her tartan biscuit tin, the one she saved just for special occasions and special students. "Miss Evans," she said, "have a biscuit."

Lily's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but when the professor nudged the biscuit tin towards her, Lily gave in and picked up a biscuit.

"Miss Evans, I don't care what the rest of the world says, I will always stand behind you. As I mentioned before, I believe you are one of the most gifted witches I have ever met. If you ever need me, in any capacity, I will not hesitate to pen a letter to Minister of Magic himself for you."

"Professor, I-" Lily could barely express her gratitude for her Head of House.

McGonagall held up a finger. "Lily," she said, her voice softening, "don't ever let your blood status stop you from doing what you dream of."

The redhead nodded, barely realizing that it was the first time McGonagall had ever called her by her given name.

"Now, here is a brochure regarding Ministry careers," said the professor, rifling around her drawer, "Ah! Here it is, Ms. Evans." She handed the paper to Lily, who took it from her with a silent thanks.

As Lily perused through the pamphlet, Professor McGonagall warned her, "The current Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is Mr. Barty Crouch, Sr. You must receive high marks in your NEWT Level subjects in order to qualify for a position within the Department."

"Thank you so much for all of your help, Professor," said Lily, rising from her seat.

"Of course, Miss Evans. I wish you the best of luck."

Lily gathered her belongings and bid farewell to Professor McGonagall. She closed the door to the office, taking a deep breath as she stood outside. She looked at the pamphlet in her hands, studying it intently.

"Hi!"

Lily jumped as she heard a voice behind her. She turned and smiled at the familiar figure in front of her.

"Merlin, Lina. You scared me!" she told the brunette in front of her.

The Quidditch player smiled, "Nah, I was here for a while. I'm surprised you didn't see me before."

"Oh. Well, you must have the sneakiness of a cat, I didn't even know," chuckled Lily.

Lina laughed. "Yeah, James tells me that I have amazing reflexes, but then yells at me for not using them."

Lily's face darkened at the mention of James, but she plastered a smile on her face. "What're you doing here?"

Lina sighed. "I have my dumb career meeting with McGonagall. I don't see the point of them, though. I'm in my fifth year, why do I need to know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life _right now?_ "

"Trust me, I wish I had paid more attention during my meeting in fifth year. I'm completely lost," Lily said, shaking the brochure in her hand for emphasis.

Lina rolled her eyes, "Lily, you're so smart. You'd be amazing at whatever you chose."

Lily blushed. "What are you interested in?"

"Quidditch, probably. I've always wanted to be a Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, but that's a stretch."

Lily patted the younger girl's arm. "I've seen you play, Lina. You're amazing and any team would be lucky to have you."

"I'd be happy to be part of any team except the Gryffindor Quidditch team," groaned Lina.

Lily frowned. "What? Why?"

Lina scoffed. "Trust me, you don't want to be part of any team that James Potter is the captain of. The other day at practice, he refused to let anyone get water until everyone had done ten laps around the pitch. By the end of it, Chris and I reasoned that we wouldn't need the water if we were dead."

Lily shook her head, smiling. "I'm sure he's not that bad. He probably wants to be a professional Quidditch player, that's the only reason he works you so hard."

"No! That's the thing. He doesn't even want to go professional! He told us that he wants to be an Auror," remarked Lina, "Hey, Lily, you're friends with him. Tell him he needs to relax a bit on the drills."

Lily nodded, absently, still processing what Lina had told her.

"Anyways, it's time for me to go in! Wish me luck!" exclaimed Lina.

Lily turned away from Professor McGonagall's office, wandering through the empty corridors, her mind reeling from what Lina had said.

Lily had always assumed that James would want to be a Quidditch player. He bragged about it enough, and Lily had to admit that he was pretty good at it. But, an Auror? Lily would have never thought that James would want to pursue such a demanding career. Then again, the James she knew would want to be on the front lines during the war.

Of course, James was a pureblood. He could be an Auror or a Healer or a Curse Breaker. He could be anything he wanted to be. Lily, on the other hand, realized that her options were much more limited. Yes, Professor McGonagall had told her that her blood status shouldn't matter. But the truth was that it _did_ matter.

An Auror was a good career for James. It suited him. She just didn't know how she felt about it.


	28. Chapter 28

Severus Snape pulled at a hangnail as he listened to the bickering pair in front of him.

"What do you suggest we do? Go off killing all the mudbloods?" Wilkes was asking.

"Of course not! We couldn't do that under Dumbledore's mudblood-loving nose," Avery replied, his eyes narrowing.

"I say we just lie low until the mudbloods get lured into a false sense of security and then we attack."

"The Dark Lord is getting restless. He wants results!" Avery retorted.

"Well, we can't all go flaunting the Dark Mark like you!" Wilkes said angrily, his voice carrying.

"That's enough!" Bellatrix hissed, her eyes darting around the Slytherin Common Room to see if anyone had overheard. Avery rubbed his left forearm, which was still raw from its recent adventure.

Severus smirked as he noticed how uncomfortable Avery was. It had just been a little over a week since Avery had shown them that he had been branded as one of the Dark Lord's loyal minions. Since then, Avery acted like he was some revered deity that they should all bow down to.

Severus refused to engage, especially since he had no interest in proving his loyalty. Sure, he would eventually join Voldemort's ranks, but he wanted to finish Hogwarts before he got caught up in all of that. Deep down inside, however, Severus knew the real reason he was delaying the inevitable was for Lily.

All he wanted was her to talk to him again like the old days. He wanted her to smile at him and laugh with him. He still had hope that she would realize the errors of her ways and come back to him. Before, Severus was unsure since she seemed to be getting pretty cozy with Potter, but recently, all of Hogwarts was abuzz with rumors that they were no longer on speaking terms. This was the moment that Severus was waiting for and he wouldn't waste it.

"We'll go after the blood traitors," he said, his voice laced with anger.

"What?" asked Bellatrix, her eyebrow rising at his suggestion.

Severus leaned forward. "It's simple. We'll go after the blood traitors. Dumbledore won't realize what we're doing because there's honestly no pattern. Nothing serious, of course. Just something to shake them up a bit."

Bellatrix was silent for a moment as she contemplated his plan. "Who do you suggest we target first?"

"Potter and Black," Severus answered without skipping a beat.

Bellatrix smiled cruelly. "Hmm, it's actually pretty brilliant. Potter is Head Boy and if we get to him, we can show Hogwarts that Dumbledore isn't as powerful as he likes to think. Black left his family and we could show the rest of the blood traitors what happens to those who turn their back on the Dark Lord. In fact, we could get Regulus to do it. That would show them."

Severus shifted uncomfortably. "Regulus is too young and inexperienced. I think it's better if we do it ourselves."

Bellatrix looked at him curiously but didn't protest. "When do we stage the attack? It won't be easy to go against both of them at the same time."

"Exactly, which is why we target them separately. We'll get Potter first. I have the prefect schedule with me. He's doing rounds next week with some fifth-year Ravenclaw. We can easily take the Ravenclaw out and then it's just Potter."

Bellatrix looked at Avery and shared a silent nod. "It's a plan."

\-------------------------------------------

The next day, Severus walked into the library, intending to get some work done, but he found his gaze drawn to a figure in the back.

Her hair shone like a halo around her, highlighted by the sun's rays, making her seem almost angelic. Her emerald eyes were focused on the textbook in front of her, oblivious to Severus' stare. At that particular moment, another figure arrived, stealing Lily's halo, while Severus inwardly cursed his luck.

James Potter took a seat at the same table she was at, breaking her concentration. Severus saw her look up at him and whisper something angrily. But, Potter refused to listen. Severus narrowed his eyes and hid behind a nearby bookshelf to hear what they were talking about.

"... apologized for it. Can you please just let it go?" Potter was asking her.

"No! I can't just forget about it! You lied to me and accused me of _using_ you!" Lily flashed her green eyes at him.

"Lily, please..."

"Bugger off, Potter!"

"I messed up! You can't seriously be holding a grudge for a kiss that didn't actually happen."

Lily glared daggers at him and snapped her textbook shut. "I'm not talking about this with you!"

She gathered her things and rose from the table, not even sparing a second glance at Potter.

"Lily..." Potter slumped over in his chair, defeated.

Severus dug his nails into his palms as he realized what he had actually overheard. James Potter had tried to kiss her. Thank Merlin Lily still had some sense left in her to cut him out of her life. When his fellow Housemates put their plan into action, Severus would actually have something to fight for.

However, what he didn't know what Lily Evans was feeling. As she stole a glance back at James Potter, she wished she could go back to when they were actually on speaking terms. She missed James' company. He was so good at cracking a joke to relieve her stress or even answering questions whenever she was feeling particularly frustrated. She missed his crooked grin and his steadfast support. But, Lily had chosen to give up on them, and so she hurried out of the library, inevitably distancing herself from him.

\------------------------------------------

They moved silently, as one, through the shadows of the castle. It was late and the torches on the wall gave the halls an eerie feeling. As they rounded the corner, they spotted their target. He was alone, of course, his nose stuck in a book as he walked out of the library.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes and waited until the boy was just a few steps away from their hiding place. As he neared, Bellatrix jumped in his path and shot a curse at him. The boy barely had time to react. His mouth formed a small " _o"_ as the brunt of spell hit him. He flew across the corridor towards the opposing wall and hit it with a satisfying _crunch_. The boy dropped to the floor limply, blood pooling around his head.

As they walked up to the boy, Bellatrix smiled evilly. Severus looked at the bloodied face of the fifth year Ravenclaw Prefect and felt a twinge of remorse for harming the innocent boy. However, Severus realized that small casualties like this would always occur in order to change the Wizarding World for the better. With his eyes still roaming over the boy, he sneered:

"Potter's next."


	29. Chapter 29

Lily burst through the portrait hole, eyes frantically searching for one James Potter. She was in luck because the boy in question was sitting on the couch in front of her, sifting through some papers.

"James! Oh, thank god!" Lily breathed as she dropped herself next to him.

James turned to her, surprised at hearing his name. "Er, Lily? Aren't you supposed to be cross with me?"

"Forget about that for a moment. Did you hear what happened to your patrol partner, Jacob Ainsley?"

"No? Is everything alright?"

"I just came back from the Hospital Wing. Apparently, two second years found him on the ground bleeding and unconscious."

James gaped at her, turning around so he could see her face. "What!? How did that happen?"

Lily sighed. "Well, I'm sure he didn't just trip and fall."

"Why Ainsley, though? Is he alright?" James questioned. "I guess I'll just have to do my patrols on my own, then."

Lily stared at him. "Are you crazy? I'm not letting you go out there alone. I'm coming with you!"

James looked at her incredulously, shocked by her change in heart. Merely a few hours ago, Lily Evans wouldn't even make eye contact with him, and now she was concerned about his wellbeing.

"Lily, I'll be fine. It's just one night of rounds. I also happen to know you have a Transfiguration essay that you've been putting off."

She blushed, color rising up through her neck. "That can wait. Anyways, the Prefect guidelines state that there have to be at least two people doing rounds at all times, and I'm no rule-breaker."

James smiled at her as he gathered his papers. "Oh, also, I worked on the decorations schedule for the upcoming Halloween feast. Maybe you want to take a look at it?"

"James Potter did his work without being told? Watch out, Potter, you're ruining your own reputation," Lily smirked.

"Har, har, har. So funny, Evans," he deadpanned, hiding his smile.

"We should get going," Lily said, offering him her hand. He grasped it and she pulled him up off the sofa. They stood like that for a second, James gazing into her bright green eyes, hands intertwined before Lily let go of his hand and turned around.

They walked through the corridors, together, sometimes joking, sometimes teasing. James hesitantly breached the subject of their Transfiguration essay, which she was having some difficulty with. He thought that if she had to be on this patrol with him, he might as well help her with her homework.

"So, Lils, how far have you gotten on your Transfiguration essay?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I have no idea where to even begin."

James laughed. "Hey, we can't have the Head Girl become a truant, can we? What's got you stumped?"

Lily hesitated. On one hand, Lily didn't want to appear stupid, asking him for help, but on the other hand, she was really struggling with this essay. After a moment of confliction, she conceded.

"Honestly, just the topic. How am I supposed to write about the theory of Transfiguring an animate object into an inanimate one when there are so many other things involved?"

James pondered this. "What else is involved? It's actually pretty straightforward. All you have to do is detach the soul of the animate object and-"

"Exactly!" Lily interrupted, "I know the basic theory behind it; I've done these Transfigurations since first-year. My problem is that I can't possibly think of a reason why the soul needs to be detached. The soul is what gives the animate object its sense of being and I just can't rip that away!"

James stopped. He had never thought about it that way. Only Lily Evans could leave him confounded at his best subject.

"Well," James began, the gears in his head turning, "I guess you could approach the essay differently. You can talk about the basic textbook theory, but also mention why you don't agree with it. I'm sure McGonagall would love to see your thoughts on the issue."

Now, it was Lily's turn to stare at him. She knew that James was a _non-traditional_ student when it came to schoolwork. He tended to not pay attention in class, or barely even study, yet he managed to stay at the top of the class, sometimes even giving Lily a run for her money. But now, she realized he was actually able the apply the knowledge that they got in classes. Lily focused more on the books and the hard facts, while James preferred to actually understand the concepts.

She smiled at him, her eyes lighting up. "That's brilliant, actually!" she said, grabbing his arm, "You have no idea how long I've been avoiding that essay."

James snorted. "Trust me, I know, Evans."

Lily noticed how easily she fell into a normal friendship with James. Even though she was still angry with him, she still enjoyed his company and his personality. As they rounded the corner, traces of smiles on both of their faces, they found a group of second-years gathered around an _actual_ knight in shining armor.

"... I swear it was this one!"

"You're insane! The secret passage wouldn't be here!"

As James and Lily approached them, a hush fell over the group of boys and they innocently turned around to face the two older students.

"What's going on here? You do know you lot are breaking curfew," said James, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Erm, well, you see...," began one of the boys in the front, but Lily interrupted.

"I'm taking away five points from each of you. You're second-years; you should know better than to be out after curfew."

As the group of boys shuffled past them, James reached out to one of the younger boys and whispered, "Half the fun in finding the secret passageways is getting caught."

The younger boy's eyes widened as James shot him a wink. Lily gaped at him and shoved him.

"Oi! Evans! What was that for?" asked James, stumbling.

"You prat! You can't go around _encouraging_ people to break the rules!" she whispered, a hint of a smile on her face.

"Now, Lily, think about it. If we didn't have rulebreakers, you and I are out of a job. I actually did you a favor, Miss Head Girl."

Lily let out a short laugh and rolled her eyes. "You're the worst, Potter."

"Actually, though, I'll let you know that you're too lenient on your punishments. When Sirius and I broke curfew, we would get a week's worth of detention, minimum."

"I don't have it in me to give those poor kids detention. Let them live a little."

Lily smiled her dazzling, breath-taking smile and James felt his heart begin to perform a gymnastics routine in his chest. She looked so perfect, her hair around her shoulders and her arms clasped behind her back.

He couldn't help himself. "You're so beautiful, Lily Evans," James murmured under his breath.

Lily froze and a crease appeared between her brows. She ignored the way her heart sped up when he said her name, in his own James Potter way.

"Stop that," she said, icily.

And, the moment was over.

She continued to walk ahead of him, not even noticing that he wasn't following her. It took her a while to realize and when she turned around, she saw him rooted in the same spot, staring at her.

"James? We still have more rounds."

When he spoke, Lily almost didn't even recognize his voice. It was low, barely above a croak. "Why?"

"What?"

He strode towards her, a fire burning in his eyes. "Why are you so afraid of something happening between us?"

"I-I'm not afraid!"

"Yes, you are! I'm head over heels for you and I know you feel _something_ for me."

"I don't! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"I've known that you're everything for me since I was thirteen."

"No, you're wrong."

"Lily, admit it. You have feelings for me."

As his hazel eyes bore into her, Lily felt her heart drumming fast in her chest. "I'm sorry if I led you on, but I don't have feelings for you, James," she said feebly.

"Bullshit!"

"James-"

He took her hand in his and Lily could feel the heat radiating off of him. "Tell me you don't feel anything when I touch you. Tell me your heart doesn't start beating a million miles a minute when someone mentions me. Tell me your mouth doesn't go dry when you see me in the corridor."

"James, I-I don't-"

"Lies! Lily, I feel everything for you! My heart jumps out of my chest when I see you because you're so beautiful. Whenever I see you guiding some poor first-year, I want to hug you because you're so kind to everyone. And when-"

"Okay, FINE!" Lily yelled, wrenching her hand out of his grip, "Yes, James Potter, I want you! I want you to hold my hand in the corridor and I want to be there for you whenever you need me. But I can't! I can't do it! It's unfair that we live in a world where my life isn't equal to yours. I'm a target because I'm muggle-born. I can't have you pay the price for something that doesn't involve you. You're a pureblood! You can go on to do amazing things! Unfortunately, I don't have that same liberty. I don't want to drag you into a fight that isn't yours."

"Lily, don't be daft. You know I don't care about that blood purity shit."

"I'm not being daft! I'm being perfectly reasonable!"

"What other people think doesn't matter to me!"

"It matters to me, James! I'm the one who has to live with the guilt!"

James frowned. "What guilt?"

Lily clenched her jaw, tears pooling in her eyes. "The guilt that I'm the mudblood scum that James Potter threw his life away for."

James gaped at her. "Lily, stop it," he said, reaching out to her, "please. I need you to know that you mean so much more than that to me."

Lily shrugged away from him, her eyes trained on the stones of the floor, not saying a word.

"Lily, I know we're meant to be!"

"Obviously not."

That shut James up. The rest of their rounds were completed with a tense silence between the two Heads, completely devoid of the playful banter present earlier in the evening. Lily refused to look at James, her gaze trained on the stones on the floor. James couldn't keep his eyes off of Lily, trying to understand what was going on through her mind.

Neither of them was paying attention to their surroundings, each overwhelmed with their own thoughts.

So when a curse came shooting around the corner, neither of them were prepared to defend themselves.


	30. Chapter 30

" _Incarcerous!_ "

Lily was frozen as she watched the curse hit James straight in the chest. He tried to reach for his wand, but he was too late as ropes bound themselves around his torso. She shared a confused look with James and grabbed her wand to help him.

" _Expelliarmus!_ " a gruff voice shouted and Lily watched helplessly as her wand was whisked away from her. In the same way, James' wand was taken away from him.

Lily whirled around to see Snape leading a group of Slytherins from around the corner. Snape stopped in his tracks when he saw Lily next to James. _She isn't supposed to be here_ , he thought, furiously.

Even though there weren't as many Slytherins as the attack during the beginning of the year, Lily had a feeling this was going to end badly. She and James were completely unarmed, the realization causing her nerves to go into a frenzy. She stood her ground until she was face to face with all of them.

Snape was accompanied by Wilkes and Rosier, but that's not what worried Lily. Bellatrix rounded out the group. Bellatrix smiled cruelly at Lily, baring her teeth in an ugly smile.

"A poor mudblood shouldn't be roaming the corridors all alone. Who knows what might happen?" Bellatrix taunted.

Lily's mind was reeling. She needed to think of a plan, and quick, or else they were done for. She eyed her wand in Rosier's hand, her fingers itching to hold it once again.

 _I have to stall, just enough for me to summon my wand,_ Lily thought.

A grunt of pain from behind her pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see James fall to the ground, the ropes around his chest tightening with every passing second.

"Lils... can't.... breathe..," he wheezed.

Snape smirked as he brought his own wand down, muttering a silencing charm before he cast his next curse. " _Petrificus Totalus!"_

James' body arched and crashed into the floor. His mouth was open, but no sound came out as he lay lifeless on the floor. Lily felt a knot in her throat as she felt the tears gather in her eyes. She screamed and did the only thing she could. She threw herself at Snape.

"HOW COULD YOU? YOU BASTARD!"

She swatted his wand away and shoved him. Snape gasped as he stumbled backward. Lily had never been violent, but the thought of James propelled her forward. She eyed Snape's wand on the stone floor and as she was about to leap towards it, she was suddenly yanked backward by her hair.

Lily shrieked as Bellatrix's face came into view, the Slytherin tightening her grip on Lily's hair.

"I warned you not to get involved," sneered Bellatrix, baring her teeth.

Snape scrambled up and grabbed his wand once again as Bellatrix dragged Lily to the side, with the latter struggling to get free. Snape cast the counter curse to the Full Body-Bind, but before James could react, Snape sent an arrow shooting jinx his way, impaling James' right shoulder. James shouted in pain, breathing hard as he attempted to break free from the ropes binding him.

Lily cried out as she saw Snape lift his wand once again, "Please! Severus, stop it! Ple-"

Her cries were drowned out as Bellatrix clamped her hand over Lily's mouth. As Lily squirmed desperately out of Bellatrix's hold, Snape hesitated, his eyes focused on Lily.

"You idiot! What are you doing? Curse him!" commanded Bellatrix, trying to get Lily to stay still under her grasp.

Snape threw one last apologetic look at Lily as he slashed his wand in the air. A large gash appeared in James' right leg, blood soaking the frayed edges of his trousers.

Lily froze, tears falling freely from her eyes as she watched Severus move closer to James. Rosier and Wilkes, who had been standing in the shadows, also moved closer to James, each one grabbing his arms and hauling him up. Rosier pulled the blood-soaked arrow out of his shoulder, causing James to roar in pain. Lily's heart twisted as James flinched, trying to evade their arms, but the two Slytherins eventually overpowered him. James sent a panicked look towards Lily, who was still being held captive by Bellatrix.

"Watch and learn, mudblood. This is what happens to blood traitors," Bellatrix whispered to Lily, her lips brushing the top of Lily's ear.

Lily continued to stare ahead, spine straight, not allowing Bellatrix the pleasure of seeing her react. She had more important things to worry about. _Relax, Lily,_ she told herself, _You just need to summon your wand. Remember what Professor Flitwick t_ _aught_ _you._

As Severus lifted his wand, Lily concentrated. She focused on the unicorn tail hair core of her wand, trying her best to push out the thoughts of Snape and James. She tried her best to connect with her wand, which was sticking out of Rosier's back pocket.

" _Accio wand!_ " she whispered, trying not to alert Bellatrix.

At the same time, Snape shouted, " _Baubillius!_ "

Lily was blinded as a jet of bright white light was aimed towards James. Snape was blocking her view, but she could just make out Wilkes and Rosier struggling to keep James upright. Lily began to panic, her heart racing as she tried to refocus on her wand.

_Come on, Lily. This is life or death. You have to save James._

Lily straightened up, still imprisoned under Bellatrix's arms, and focused all her energy into getting her wand back. She blocked out all of her thoughts and memories and concentrated on one goal.

She felt a surge of power within her and shouted, " _Accio wand!"_

Her wand came zooming towards her and she firmly clasped it in her hand, reveling in the familiarity.

" _Stupefy!_ " yelled Lily, aiming the wand at Bellatrix who was immediately knocked off her feet.

Snape stopped at the commotion and turned around, but Lily was ready.

" _Expelliarmus!"_ she cast, grasping Snape's wand as it flew into her reach.

She noticed Rosier and Wilkes inching towards their own wands and shot a quick Stunning Spell towards the pair of them.

She then rounded on Snape, wand drawn. "Severus, get out of here. All of you," she seethed, her anger causing her temper to flare.

"Lily, I-"

"NO! I'm done hearing your excuses. Just get out of here before I do something I'll regret," Lily threatened, throwing Snape his wand back.

Severus slinked away, bewitching Bellatrix, Wilkes, and Rosier to follow him.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief as she collapsed onto the floor next to James, her hands reaching out to untie the ropes binding him. She grimaced as she spotted the portion of burnt skin and the large gash through his leg. His shoulder was bleeding, sending rivets of blood down his arm. She lightly traced the path of blood down his arm, her fingers stained red. 

"James," she sighed, unable to say anything else as she looked at him.

She was breathing heavily. Her face was covered in grime and sweat and tears, but James had never thought she looked more beautiful.

"How the hell did you do that, Lily?"

She looked at the wand in her hand, surprised. She made eye contact with him and gave him a breathtaking smile. "I did it! Merlin, I did it! I didn't think it would work. I've been practicing and-"

She stopped abruptly as James inched closer. He was looking at her with a mixture of awe and amazement. His hazel eyes sought out her green ones.

"J-James, what are you doing?" Lily asked, her heart thumping wildly, as he lifted his good hand to push the hair out of her face.

"Lily, you were amazing. You _are_ amazing. Brilliant, Lils. I mean, wandless magic is so advanced and-" He stopped abruptly. Her green eyes were staring up at him and James couldn't take it anymore.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, cupping the sides of her face. His thumb traced over the small scar on her cheek.

Lily looked up at him in anticipation. Their breath mingled as he moved closer. Lily was frozen, her eyes widening as his head moved closer to hers, his hand still cupping her face. Her heart was drumming inside her chest as his lips met hers.

Lily's eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her. She swore she could see fireworks bursting as his lips worked their own magic against hers. The kiss was slow and sweet like they had all the time in the world. Her hands moved to the nape of his neck of their own accord. He kissed her like she was the most important person in the world, and for him, she was. Suddenly, James broke away from her and rested his forehead against hers.

"Oh god, Lily," he breathed, "I'm sorry, I just had to do that."

"Just shut up and kiss me," she smirked, as she pulled on his tie, bringing his face towards hers, his lips landing on hers once again.

James wrapped one arm around her waist to pull her closer to him and Lily ran her hands through his hair. The corridor was deserted save for the two of them. Finally, after what felt like ages, they broke apart, both struggling for breath. Lily's cheeks were tinged pink and James' hair was sticking up in every direction. But, both of them had smiles as big as the moon.

James grabbed Lily's hand. "I guess there's only one thing left to do."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" Lily asked, smiling at him.

"Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"


	31. Chapter 31

"A little more the left. No, your _other_ left, Potter!"

James rolled his eyes as he tried his best to follow Lily's directions, using his wand to move the decorations. Once Lily's back was turned, he discreetly gave up on the positions of the pumpkins, hoping she wouldn't notice. He hopped off the table he was standing on and went to help some fifth-years who were having trouble with their levitation spells.

They were setting up for the upcoming Halloween Feast. As Head Boy and Girl, it was James and Lily's responsibility to coordinate the decorations in the Great Hall. About a dozen prefects had signed up to help them decorate while the others had helped put together the decorations.

James, walking to the staff table to adjust the tablecloths, stopped abruptly as he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He stumbled a bit, catching himself on the table and waited until it was gone. Lily, who was on the other side of the Hall, gave him a concerned look. James shook his head, silently telling her he was fine. She narrowed her eyes at him but didn't move towards him.

James shook off the slight pang of irritation he felt when he met Lily's eyes. He knew that she just wanted to help and make sure he was okay, but he hated feeling like he had to depend on someone else. And she just wouldn't stop giving him _that_ look, a look of pity.

Ever since their skirmish with the Slytherins in corridors, James would experience bouts of blinding pain in his shoulder, which would sometimes radiate to his arm and chest. Madam Pomfrey had said it was residual pain and it would eventually go away, but Lily had been adamant that it wouldn't affect his studies.

She had brewed him a batch of some potent painkiller, advising him to drink a vial every day. But James hated the taste of the liquid, so he often skipped out on taking it. Plus, he didn't need a potion to make him feel better; he wanted the people who had cursed him to get the punishment they deserved.

But, alas, the Slytherins were let off with a stern warning and a month of detention for being out of bed after curfew. When Lily had told him, James almost threw a fit, but Lily had been the voice of reason, telling him that Dumbledore couldn't possibly expel an entire group of students. 

"You okay, mate?" asked a kind voice behind him. Remus.

James looked over his shoulder and saw Lily discreetly eyeing the pair of them. "Did Lily send you over?"

Remus hesitated, and James scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"James, she's just worried."

"She doesn't need to be worried! I'm perfectly fine."

"Prongs, I know you're fine, but she's not. Imagine what she's going through. She watched you get attacked, that's not something she's going to forget anytime soon," reasoned Remus.

Lily watched the two friends talking, averting her eyes when she saw James look at her. She performed a quick round of the room, making sure the decorations were being put up correctly, checking and double-checking the schedule. She made a few suggestions to some Prefects and then helped Professor Flitwick charm the flying bats. She was so engrossed in her tasks that she never heard him sneak up on her.

"Lily."

Lily whirled around, her face darkening as she took in the figure in front of her. She clenched her jaw, memories of their interaction in the corridor resurfacing.

"Snape."

"Lily, we need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you," said Lily, coldly.

"Lily, just hear me out," he begged.

"Are you going to apologize?" she asked, her hands forming fists.

Snape furrowed his brow. "What for?"

Lily's jaw dropped. "Well, for starters, assault!"

"Potter? He's had it coming for a while, he deserved it," said Snape, dismissively.

Lily stared at him. "Then, obviously, there is no need for us to have a conversation," she replied, turning around.

"Lily, wait!" he called, catching her arm in his.

She felt his hand clamp down on her upper arm and snarled, "Let go of me, Severus!"

"Oh wow, look, your personal bodyguard's here," sneered Snape. Lily twisted around to see James walking towards them, Remus in tow. His hands were balled into fists and Lily knew that he was going to do something drastic if she didn't intervene. She wrenched her arm out of Snape's grip and turned towards James.

"James, _be professional,"_ hissed Lily, her hand on his chest, stopping him.

"To hell with being professional! I'm going to-"

"No, you're not," she told him, wrenching his hand away from his wand.

"Ah, Mr. Snape, it's so wonderful to see you here," greeted the stern voice of Professor McGonagall from behind them, "Unfortunately, I don't see your name on the schedule that Ms. Evans provided me with."

"Yes, Professor. I just came by to see if any more help was needed," Snape fibbed, his eyes landing on Lily, whose hands were still intertwined with James'.

"Well, I appreciate it, but it seems like we're pretty much fully covered. Next time, please let Ms. Evans or Mr. Potter know ahead of time so we can add you to the schedule," Professor McGonagall admonished.

When it seemed like Severus wasn't going to leave, Professor McGonagall gave him a stern look, "Mr. Snape, I know, for a fact that you are expected to be in Herbology in," she checked her watch, "two minutes. I would hate for Professor Sprout to have to deduct house points."

Snape nodded solemnly and backed out of the Great Hall. He gave Lily one last look but noticed that she was whispering something in Potter's ear. Snape's hands clenched into fists as he finally left the room.

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter, I can handle the rest of the Prefects for the time being. You are dismissed, thank you for your help," said Professor McGonagall, turning to face James and Lily.

"But, Professor, we haven't even finished decorating," said Lily.

"No worries, I will take care of it. You both have been a great help. You can have a short break before your next class," dismissed Professor McGonagall, shooing the two of them out of the Great Hall.

James opened his mouth to protest, but Lily grabbed his arm and started walking in the direction of their dorm.

"She's letting us go early, let's not complain," Lily marveled.

James shook his arm out of her grasp. "What did Snape want?" he asked, harshly.

Lily stopped and looked at him. "Not here."

"What? Lily, I swear to Merlin-"

" _Listen_ to me! I'll tell you everything, just not here," she said, her eyes roaming around the corridors.

James huffed and followed Lily to their dorm. Lily, after some taunts from Sir Cadogan, was able to push open the portrait hole. James walked past her into the living room, his temper still flaming.

"James," called Lily softly, placing her hand on his back. He turned around, the light from the fireplace dancing in his eyes.

"What did he want?" growled James.

Lily looked away. "He wanted to talk. I asked him to apologize for... you know. And he brushed it off."

"Of course he did. I just don't understand why you _always_ have to talk to him," said James, frustrated. 

"I don't _want_ to talk to him, James. And anyway, nothing happened, so no harm was done," concluded Lily.

"Lily, I-" 

James stopped abruptly as another pain spasm rocked through his body. He shut his eyes tightly waiting for the pain to pass. When he looked up again, he saw Lily watching him with the same look in her eyes as earlier in the morning.

"Stop that!" snapped James. Lily blinked, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that! Like I'm some sort of charity case."

"What? Of course you're not a charity case!"

"Then stop trying to help me! You're suffocating me, Lily!"

Lily's jaw dropped open, her temper flaring to life. " _I'm_ suffocating you?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I don't need your stupid potions or your pity!"  
  
"What the _hell?_ Where is this coming from?"

"You! Stop looking at me like I'm going to collapse any second. I can take care of myself!" shouted James.

"Well, god forbid I try to help you because I _care,"_ she fumed. 

"You don't have to, though! I know what I need better than you!"

"Fine! Have it your way. You and your pride. Don't you dare come running to me when you're passed out on the floor or even worse. I'm done!" she yelled at him, crossing her arms.

James sighed, all traces of anger vanishing from his face. He reached out towards her, "Lily, I'm sorry. Let's not fight."

She twisted away from him. "Don't touch me."

James smirked and wrapped his arms around her, turning her around to face him. She was still irate, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Are you _still_ angry with me?" he asked, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear.

Lily rolled her eyes, trying her best to conceal her small smile. She gave up, and lightly pushed on his chest. "Stop making me smile! I'm mad at you."

"Hmm, yes I can see how that could be a problem. Luckily, I think I found the perfect solution."

He tipped her chin upwards, relishing the small smile that graced her lips before he kissed her. She wound her arms around his neck, inhaling a scent that was just so _him_. He traced his fingertips down her arms, shooting sparks through her skin. She broke the kiss after a while, looking up at him, breathless.

"What was that for?" she asked, patting her hair down.

James smirked. "I can't have my girlfriend peeved with me, can I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies! First of all, thank you so much for your continued support of this book (I think it's been like 2 years since I posted the first chapter so if you're still here, props to you!)
> 
> I'm not a huge fan of author's notes because I feel like they take away from the story, but I LOVE interacting with you guys, so if this is something you like then I am more than happy to start adding a little something at the end of every chapter hehe
> 
> In more important news, I made a Tumblr (rainasteele.tumblr.com)! I think it's just easier for me to interact with you guys on that platform and you guys can go ahead and ask me any questions (anonymously too, which is what I love). Literally... ask me anything OR give me a writing prompt... anything! I may even post some snippets for the upcoming chapters if I'm feeling up to it.
> 
> I'm also working on some smaller oneshots (they take less time to write and edit so yay!) so I'm hoping I can use this quarantine time to finally finish some of the ones that have been works in progress.
> 
> I hope all of you are staying safe wherever you are! Stay positive, we got this!
> 
> With all my love ~ Raina


	32. Chapter 32

"Ok, so let me get this straight..."

Lily groaned. "Mary, I've told you this a thousand times. What part don't you understand?"

"Lily!" she whined, "I've been waiting for this to happen for ages. I'm sure you can spare a few details."

"What details? I've already told you everything!"

"Doesn't matter. Start from the beginning," commanded Mary.

Lily huffed. "I'll tell you after class. Let me take notes in peace."

Lily pushed ahead of Mary and Alice, walking in the direction of their Defense classroom. She, however, was mistaken if she thought that her friends were just going to leave the subject alone. Within seconds, Mary had sidled up to her, matching her pace.

"Ok, fine. At least tell me why you're hiding it from everyone."

"We're not hiding it! I've told you, and he's told the people he wants to tell. And, if someone asks, I'm not going to lie to them. But, we've decided to keep it quiet. We don't need to draw unnecessary attention to ourselves."

Mary snorted. "Right. You're telling me James Potter doesn't want to draw 'unnecessary attention' to himself?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "We're going to keep it professional. We're still Head Boy and Girl. Hogwarts is still our first priority."

"And you're both okay with that?" inquired Alice, coming up from behind them.

Lily smiled. "Yeah, we are."

"Is he a good snog?" interjected Mary.

"Mary!" Lily stopped, blushing.

"What? I told you I wanted details."

"That's not relevant!"

"Fine, fine. Have it your way," grumbled Mary.

Lily sighed in relief as she felt the heat dissipate from her cheeks. Just as her complexion was finally returning to normal, she heard a familiar (irritating) voice call out her name.

"Oi! Evans!"

Lily turned around just in time to have Sirius throw his arm around her shoulders. Lily released an exasperated breath as he fell into step beside her. Behind him, shuffled in James, Remus, and Peter. She caught James' eye, but he just winked at her. _Stupid tosser,_ she cursed.

"What do you want, Black?" she sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"I heard something interesting..." trailed off Sirius, smirking at the redhead.

Lily knew what this was about. She sighed and played along, "And what was that?"

"I heard you found a new snogging mate. Congrats!"

Lily quirked an eyebrow. "Are you jealous because I stole yours?"

Remus and Peter snickered while James turned beet red, staring in shock at Lily. Sirius just smirked and said, "Well played, Evans."

She looked at him, eyes sparkling. "A promise is a promise."

Sirius chuckled softly, her words reminding him of a conversation they had not too long ago. Sirius conceded that Lily Evans was not one to break a promise, a fact that he would remember for years to come.

He removed his arm from Lily's shoulder, allowing her to readjust the strap of her schoolbag. She walked a bit ahead of him, catching up with Mary and Alice. As they turned into the Defense corridor, she stole a glance at Sirius behind her.

"Oh, and Sirius?" she called, her green eyes meeting his grey ones, "I promise I'll share him, too."

Alice laughed as the group entered their Defense classroom. Lily spotted a group of seats near the front of the classroom and dragged her friends to them. As the Marauders moved towards the back of the classroom to take their seats, James stopped in front of her, leaning across the desk.

" _That,"_ he said, jerking his thumb in the general direction of the door, "was not nice, Evans."

She patted his hand gently. "I'm sure you'll get over it, Potter."

He huffed, but then started fumbling around his bag for something. He gave a small _aha!_ as he found it and slipped a piece of parchment across the desk to Lily.

He leaned in and whispered, "This is for you."

"A blank piece of paper? Really, Potter? That's the way to my heart?" asked Lily skeptically.

James just laughed, mirth lighting up his hazel eyes. Lily felt her pulse quicken as he smiled crookedly, his eyes crinkling. He ran a hand through his unruly hair before heading to the back of the classroom where the rest of his friends were.

Alice noticed Lily staring at James Potter and smiled, knowingly. "Oh, you've got it bad, Evans."

Lily blushed and swatted her arm, silencing her.

Soon, their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Professor Bennett, entered the classroom, causing the room to fall silent. Professor Bennet was an older man, thin and frail. Even though he didn't look physically tough, his mind was sharp. When he was younger, he served as an Auror for the Ministry but had retired at an early age.

He had taken on the job of their Defense Professor on the request of Professor Dumbledore after the previous professor had taken a leave of absence. Lily marveled at Dumbledore's vast connections and hoped that she would be that influential one day.

The professor removed his wand from the folds of his robes and enchanted a piece of chalk to write on the chalkboard behind him. The chalk hovered in front of the chalkboard, waiting for the professor to begin speaking.

"Good morning, class. As it's Halloween, we will be revising the concept of vampire bats today, which you were required to cover in your fifth year."

Lily heard groans from the class as they indicated their frustration with the topic. Lily, too, was confused as vampire bats were not considered a complicated subject matter, per se. Nevertheless, Lily poised her quill over her parchment, ready to jot down any notes.

"Vampire bats are bats that are thought to be associated with Dark Magic. One of the most known sightings of vampire bats was during the first Quidditch World Cup in 1473..."

As the professor rambled on, Lily continued to take diligent notes, occasionally referring to her textbook for clarification. Just as she had finished jotting down the origin of vampire bats, the scrap of parchment that James had left her reappeared on top of her notes.

She watched with fascination as dark lines of ink began to appear on the parchment, contrasting sharply with the cream-colored parchment. Lily gasped softly as she recognized James' handwriting on the paper.

**Lils, stop bending over your books like that, you'll ruin your posture. Lighten up a bit.**

She turned around and looked at him in shock. He was sitting next to Sirius, smirking as he saw her expression of wonder.

 _Pay attention, Evans_ , he mouthed, pointing to their professor in the front of the classroom.

Lily scowled and turned back to the note, watching as the words began to disappear slowly. New words began to take there place as Lily squinted to make out James' handwriting.

**I found a simple charm in the Restricted Section. Perks of being Head Boy?**

Lily snorted under her breath and rolled her eyes. Of course, James would snoop around the Restricted Section and then brag about it.

She quickly dipped her quill in ink and scratched out a response on the now-blank piece of paper.

**You idiot, stop distracting me. Unlike you, I actually take my classes very seriously.**

His words appeared within seconds.

**Ah, but you see, that's my job. I have to use my intelligence to distract too-clever Head Girls who already know everything there is to know about vampire bats.**

Lily tried to keep the smile off of her face as she read his words, a compliment disguised as a teasing jab.

**Am I allowed to use my intelligence to force an unfailingly arrogant Head Boy to pay attention?**

She desperately tried to pay attention to Professor Bennett herself, but, like the hypocrite she was, all she could think about was the smirk that would grace his face once he read her note. In fact, she thought she heard a small chuckle from him.

**You can try, but there are no guarantees that it'll work. I am a self-made slacker.**

Lily shook her head and turned around to glare at him. He was wearing that stupid smirk she had imagined earlier. His fingers were drumming a short pattern atop the table, and his glasses sat crookedly on his long nose.

All in all, it was a pretty perfect image of James Potter.

\-------------------------------------------

The Halloween Feast was in full swing by the time Lily and James got there that evening. The Great Hall had been decorated perfectly, and even the pumpkins that Lily had helped charm retained their magic.

The students were spread out over all of the four house tables, with the staff table at the front. Professor Flitwick was gathering the members of the Hogwarts choir for their performance. At the same time, Professor Slughorn attempted to corral all of the Hogwarts ghosts in a corner for their formation gliding.

"Oh, look!" gasped Lily, clutching his arm, "They have candy-filled goblets!"

James spotted the Marauders at the end of the Gryffindor table and led Lily in that direction, even though she was still focused on the cauldrons of lollipops. James sat down beside Peter, who was watching the skeletons dance in the front of the room.

Lily walked up behind them, patted Remus on the shoulder, and gave a quick wave to Peter across the table. Sirius, whose plate was already overflowing with food, swallowed and turned to face Lily.

"Finally, it's about time the two of you showed up!"

Lily didn't reply, she just bent forward and nicked a piece of his carrot cake, taking a generous bite of it.

"Hey!" cried Sirius, "That's mine!"

"Come on, Sirius. What did we say about sharing?"

Lily waved goodbye to the four of them and walked over to where her friends were sitting, a little bit further down the table.

"I like her, that Evans," Sirius said, pointing his fork in her direction, mouth stuffed with food, again.

"Yeah, Padfoot?" James asked, his eyes coming to rest on her, "I think I like her too."

Lily took a seat next to Alice, Mary sitting across from them. Alice handed Lily a glass of pumpkin juice and a plate full of candy-filled pumpkins. Lily laughed as she took it from her friend, loving the imbalance in the candy to the actual food ratio.

"Alice, you don't honestly expect my dinner to consist of just candy and pumpkin juice?!" she asked her friend.

"It's Halloween, Lils. You can't be expected to eat anything _but_ candy!"

The rest of the feast progressed smoothly, or as smoothly as something at Hogwarts could proceed. Once the choir had finished their singing, Peeves led the Hogwarts ghosts in their formation gliding. However, the Bloody Baron refused to follow the choreography and ended up passing through the Fat Friar. That caused the Fat Friar to stumble and collide with the Grey Lady. In the end, though, Nearly Headless Nick solved it all with a stunning solo performance of popping out of the walls at random intervals.

As the feast was coming to an end, Lily found that she had stuffed herself full of juice and candy. She realized that she could not possibly be expected to do anything for the next week while her stomach digested all of the food she consumed.

"Merlin, I can't move...," groaned Mary from across the table, one hand draped over her stomach.

"Well, you'd better be able to move. There's no way I can carry you up the steps of our dormitory," replied Alice, her head resting on the tabletop.

Once the Great Hall had thinned out a bit, James walked up to Lily and her friends, noticing them all slumped over the table.

"Hey, Lils. I'm gonna head out. You want to come with?" he asked her, lightly touching her shoulder.

Lily turned around and smiled at him. "Yeah, sure." She faced Mary and Alice once again, waving them goodbye.

She grabbed his arm and stood up, handing him some of her books to carry. At the last moment, she spun around to face her friends, "Don't forget, we're meeting in the library tomorrow during our free period to go over our Defense essay."

"Yes, Lily, we won't forget. Now, go... before I burst!" Alice exclaimed as she waved Lily and James away from the table.

As Lily and James walked toward the entrance, James made a big show of sighing heavily, shifting the weight of Lily's textbooks between his arms.

Lily nudged his elbow, allowing herself to indulge him, just this once. "What's wrong?"

 _"Hmm?"_ he mumbled, trying (and failing) to give off an air of nonchalance. He shifted her books in his arms once again.

"Oh, give it here, you big wimp."

She grabbed the books from James, her heart jumping when their fingers met. He laughed and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

"I love using my looks to emotionally blackmail you."

Lily gaped at him as he walked in front of her, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Potter!"


	33. Chapter 33

"Sirius! You're stepping on my foot!"

"Shh... Wormtail, don't yell!"

"All of you, shut up before we're caught!"

James silently chuckled at Remus' hushed warning as the four of them tried to fit under the Invisibility Cloak. As expected, they had grown too much to comfortably be hidden from view under the cloak. As they continued to struggle, Remus unfolded himself from his friends, cursing his luck to be stuck with these ignorant fools.

"Stop this! Wormtail and Padfoot, stay under the cloak. James and I will walk beside you. If we get caught, James can just say that we were patrolling," snapped Remus.

The three boys looked at Remus, awestruck.

"Hmm, I guess Remus is actually useful for once," mocked Sirius.

Remus rolled his eyes and helped adjust the Cloak so it covered Sirius and Peter's feet. They quietly descended the stairs from the Seventh Year boys dormitory, praying that there was no one in the Gryffindor Common Room at this late hour.

However, James should have known that his luck was abysmal.

"James?"

James froze, turning around slowly, trying his best to keep his face neutral. He knew who it was. "Yes, Lily?"

" _Shit,_ " came a voice under the cloak. James kicked Sirius in the shin as he focused his attention back on Lily.

"Where are you going? It's late and curfew's in fifteen minutes."

She was frowning at him, ignoring the sheets of parchment strewn in front of her. Her hair was tied up behind her head and she had ditched her uniform for something a bit more comfortable. She was clutching a quill in her hand, resting it on top of the arm of the sofa. She had a crease between her brows and her eyes were narrowed slightly, questioning.

"Er-"

"Actually, Lily, James and I were just going to the library to return one of my textbooks. I thought it would be easier if I had the Head Boy here with me, just in case we didn't get back in time for curfew," Remus explained, nudging James in the side.

James released a short breath and nodded, silently thanking Remus for taking the lead. He didn't know if he would be able to lie so gracefully to Lily.

"Oh, alright then. Be careful."

Lily gave them both a quick nod and turned to face the parchment in front of her. Before they left the Common Room, James turned around and called out to her (he couldn't help it), "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't. Also, tell Peter that I can see his shoes and whatever Disillusionment Charm you cast isn't working."

James stopped at the entrance of the Portrait Hole and gaped at her. She knew. _Of course she knew,_ James told himself, mentally slapping himself in the head. She hadn't looked up, her attention still on her parchment, but James knew that she was smiling. He walked out, meeting up with Remus outside.

James was about to tell Peter to cover his feet when he felt a swift kick in his shin. He howled in pain as he clutched his wounded shin in his hands, hopping around on one foot, earning a _Shhh!_ from Remus.

"Jeez, Padfoot," grumbled James, still rubbing the sore spot on his leg.

"That's so you never kick me again," retorted Sirius from under the Cloak.

After helping Sirius and Peter readjust the Cloak so it covered both of their toes, the four of them made their way down to the castle grounds. Sirius held the Marauders Map under the cloak, silently studying it for Filch. They traversed slowly through the corridors, checking around the corners for the caretaker.

Once they made it out of the castle, Sirius whipped off the Cloak, stretching his limbs out. Peter jumped out from underneath, coming to stand by James. Sirius tapped the Map, erasing it with his wand.

"Why'd you take it off?" Remus hissed, referring to the Cloak.

"No one cares, Moony, we're out of the castle," replied Sirius, nonchalantly. He broke out into a light jog. "Are we going or what?"

Remus sighed exasperatedly but nonetheless began to run to catch up to Sirius. The four of them bounded towards the Hogwarts grounds, toward the small house on the edge of it, surrounded by a small pumpkin patch. They arrived panting slightly, but the thrill of being on the grounds after curfew didn't fade.

James knocked on the door to Hagrid's hut three times, rapping his knuckles against the uneven wood.

"Whozzit?" came a gruff voice from inside.

The door opened in a flash, the light from inside the cabin illuminating the faces of the four boys that stood on the doorstep. Hagrid smiled at them, his face breaking out into a toothy grin.

"Ah! James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter! Hullo! I missed yeh boys. C'mon in!" Hagrid ushered the four boys over the threshold.

Hagrid's cabin looked the same as it did during their last visit. The fireplace was roaring, casting a warm glow around the room, the heat welcome in the cold November chill. Hagrid gave Sirius a friendly pat on the back, causing him to stumble over the leg of the couch. James snickered but managed to hide his amusement when Sirius sent a dirty look his way.

James, Peter, and Remus dropped themselves on the couch in from of the fireplace. Sirius wandered over to the corner where Fang was sleeping, giving the small dog a quick scratch behind the ears.

"Can I get yeh summat ter drink? Tea?" called Hagrid from the tiny kitchen.

The four of them shared a quick glance. They would much prefer to save their appetites for something a bit more... appetizing.

"No, thank you, Hagrid," Remus replied politely.

Sirius gave Fang one last pat on the head, savoring the dog's drooping yawn before making his way to the couch. He elbowed James in the side and squeezed himself right between James and Peter, kicking up his feet on the small coffee table in front of them.

"Hagrid, come sit with us. We wanted to talk to _you_ ," Peter said, gesturing to the open armchair.

"Ah, it's bin a long time since I seen yeh all. How's school goin'? NEWT year, huh?" said Hagrid, barely fitting his large frame in the cramped armchair.

"Yes, it's been rough, but we're all managing. Or, as well as we can," said Remus, smiling slightly.

"And James, yer Head Boy now, isn' tha' right?"

"Er- yeah," James said, running a hand through his hair, "It's hard being Quidditch Captain and Head Boy but I get by."

"I'm sure it's even harder when the Head Girl is his girlfriend," Sirius smirked.

James thwacked him upside in the head, ignoring Peter's chuckle.

"Finally got Lily, did ya? Yeh've bin mad 'bout her fer ages now, innit? Nice girl, that Lily Evans," smiled Hagrid.

"Yeah, she amazing," agreed James, any mention of Lily causing him to smile. He decided to get right to the point. "How are you now, Hagrid? What have you been up to?"

"I'm well. Fang's bin a bit testy recently, bein' cooped up in here. I've just bin goin' round runnin' a few errands fer Dumbledore, here and there."

"Have you heard anything? About the war?" Remus inquired, sitting up straighter.

"'Course I have! Loads, in fact." Hagrid paused, eyeing the four boys cautiously. "But, I don' reckon yeh boys need to hear 'bout that."

"Come on, Hagrid! We're all of age now. Pete here just turned seventeen," argued Sirius, clapping Peter's shoulders.

Hagrid still looked wary, but after Sirius sent him a pleading look, he reconsidered.

"I dunno. I've bin hearing a lot about You-Know-Who."

James leaned forward. "What about him?"

"More Death Eaters, more attacks on muggle-borns. I heard 'bout an attack the other day. The family o' this young boy. Couldn'ta bin more'n ten or eleven. He was muggle-born, the boy... hadn' even gotten his Hogwarts letter yet. Death Eaters. Killed the entire family. Dad. Mum. Ev'ryone."

James swallowed. The war was much worse than he realized. Death Eaters were now openly attacking Muggle households... in Muggle neighborhoods. He thought of Lily. How did she feel, leaving her family every year to go into a world where people like her aren't respected? And her family... Even if they had some inkling about the status of the Wizarding World, they were effectively defenseless.

"I didn't read about that attack in the Prophet..." Peter said, frowning.

"Tha's 'cause the Prophet's phony! On'y reporting what they want ter report."

"Isn't the Ministry doing anything about it? The Aurors must be trying to capture the Death Eaters," insisted James.

"The Ministry? Ha!" snorted Hagrid, "As if the Ministry was capable of doin' anything. The entire Ministry's useless! Tryin' ter hide information from the people."

"But why? Don't they want people to know what's going on?" Remus asked.

"I dunno. It's awful, but what can yeh do? The Ministry's not goin' ter tell people its failing at their on'y job."

The rest of their visit progressed with the four of them peppering Hagrid with questions. After they had thoroughly discussed the attack on the muggle family, Hagrid told them about the unrest with the giants in the north and the vampires down south. Hagrid couldn't answer all of their questions, though. Sometimes, he would turn pink and awkwardly grasp for another topic. James knew he was hiding something, but he could care less. He was finally getting the information he wanted, information that could help him make a difference.

Once Hagrid's clock chimed midnight, the four of them stood up and bid farewell to their gracious host, telling him that they had classes early the next morning.

"Come back ter visit anytime!" called Hagrid from the door of his hut and James turned around to shoot him a quick wave.

James bid goodnight to his friends as they made their way up to the Tower, silently. None of them had spoken a word to each other since leaving Hagrid's hut, still processing the severity of what he had told them.

Once he finally made it back to the safety of the Head Dorm (Lily was fast asleep), he tossed his Cloak onto a chair and collapsed on his bed, the exhaustion catching up to him. His mind was still running, trying, and failing, to come up with a solution, any solution. He didn't realize the Ministry was purposefully withholding information from the public. He didn't realize that the Prophet was corrupted, only printing what the Ministry wanted them to print.

He wanted to talk to Lily, to tell her what was going on. The attack would probably affect her the most, but she deserved to know what was happening, too. He wanted to be able to discuss his fears and his anger with her. He wanted her to thread her fingers through his and tell him something so incredibly clever.

The Wizarding World was falling apart and James, who was stuck within the walls of Hogwarts, was powerless to do anything. He was a student, for Merlin's sake. Even if he wanted to something, he _couldn't._ And that was the part that frustrated him to no end.

James fell asleep that night with a growing sense of unease clawing through his stomach. His last thought before sleep took him was of Lily's parents, desperately trying their best to fend off a pack of bloodthirsty vampires in the empty streets of Cokeworth.


	34. Chapter 34

James barely slept that night. He tossed and turned, his mind still fixated on the news he had received merely hours before. He knew that he had to tell Lily. She deserved to know and she would be able to quell his fears.

Of course, by the time James had gotten up and showered, he still hadn't figured out _how_ he was going to tell his girlfriend about the attack. She wasn't directly involved, but it concerned her just the same.

By the time he had finished showering, though, Lily had already left for breakfast, her room empty. James sighed, running a hand through his hair. _I guess I'll just have to tell her at breakfast,_ he concluded.

When James walked into the Great Hall, he noticed that the entire room became silent upon his entry. He caught a group of Hufflepuff's whispering away incessantly, abruptly silencing themselves when they saw him. He furrowed his brows in confusion but nevertheless plopped down on a bench beside Lily.

Before James could even ask her a question, Lily blurted out, "They know."

"Who knows?"

Lily gestured around them, vaguely. "Everyone."

James snorted. "I'm surprised it took them so long. I was beginning to lose faith in the gossip mill."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

He turned to look at her. "Does it bother _you?_ "

James held his breath as he waited for Lily to answer. He knew that she was a bit more reserved when it came to their relationship, but he was proud of her and didn't want to sneak around. He _wanted_ to be able to tell people that Lily Evans was his girlfriend.

To be fair, though, he knew that Lily wasn't ashamed of them. She just didn't feel the need to go flaunting their relationship to the entire world, which James respected. They had only told their friends at first because those were the only people whose opinions mattered to them. Everyone else could go to hell for all he cared.

"No, of course not. I only meant that it's none of their business and that I'm perfectly allowed to snog whomever I please."

James snorted. "Well... not _whomever_. I doubt Peter would very much like it if you carried on snogging him."

Lily turned to him, a smile dancing on her lips. "Good, because you're the only person I want to snog."

"LA LA LA LA," cried a voice from behind them, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius sat down on the other side of James, helping himself to some of Lily's toast.

"Hey! I was going to eat that," Lily cried indignantly.

"Oh, will you look at that? Now I'm eating it," Sirius replied, with an air of casual arrogance.

Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius, but James' hand on her arm stopped her. He gave a slight shake of his head. _It's not worth it,_ he expressed. Lily scowled and angrily grabbed another piece of toast.

"Oh, and Evans, everyone knows," Sirius said, spewing breadcrumbs everywhere.

Lily scoffed. "I _know_ ," she snapped.

"Oh, good on you then. Nice to know you weren't dead set on hiding it." Sirius took another bite of the toast, "Anyways, you weren't really doing a good job. Everyone had their guesses after the Halloween Feast."

James frowned. He sent a cautioning look Sirius' way, trying to warn his best friend. James didn't want to bring this up. Not now, at least, not when everything was going so well between him and Lily. Plus, it was too early in the morning for him to have this discussion. He hadn't even had a chance to drink a cup of tea!

"Hiding it?" Lily questioned.

"Y'know," Sirius gestured aimlessly, "Hiding your relationship."

"I- _what?"_ Lily dropped her knife, staring at Sirius openmouthed.

Sirius grabbed another muffin, stuffing it into his mouth, swallowing thickly before answering. "We all thought you were embarrassed about being with my boy James here," Sirius thumped him on the back.

" _Embarrassed?_ "

"Because well, James has been mental about you for ages and it seems like you've finally caught on. When he told us to keep it to ourselves, we thought you didn't want it known that you, _the Lily Evans,_ were dating James. Peter said that you were just shy, but I didn't think that was it. You haven't been exactly subtle about your dislike of James in the past. We assumed that you thought that this drastic change of affection would affect your 'reputation'."

"Sirius, leave it be," interrupted James, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Lily's arm.

Lily turned to him. "Did you know about this? Is this what you think?"

James started. "Erm- well... not _embarrassed_ , per se, but-"

Lily gaped at him. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp, still staring at the pair of them sitting next to her.

"I," she gritted out, training her fierce green eyes on them, "am _not_ embarrassed."

"Lily, don't listen to Sirius, he doesn't-"

"No, you listen to me, James Potter. I want this," she emphasized, gesturing between them, "I don't care who knows it. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of you... of us. I know that we don't exactly have the best history, but none of that matters anymore. This is a relationship and I trust you, James. We're doing this for us, not for anyone else. I don't care who knows or what they know about us. I know that I'm happy and that's all that matters."

James stared at her, her speech rendering Sirius silent too. Her gaze lingered on James' face before she tossed her hair over her shoulder and continued to eat her breakfast, ignoring the way James' mouth had dropped open.

Lily Evans always found a way to surprise him. She was an enigma- hard to crack, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to try. She was happy... happy with him! In all honesty, James wanted to revel in this moment for all of eternity.

But, of course, Sirius had to go and ruin it.

He nudged James, "Tell her. About the attack."

Lily stiffened, her knife clattering back onto her plate. She furrowed her brows at Sirius before turning to regard James' hazel eyes. The unspoken question was clear, but James wasn't sure of how to break the news to her.

She was muggle-born, and she knew that the world was not kind when it came to muggle-borns. He had spent the entire night before struggling to come up with the words to tell her. After her cathartic confession, he didn't even know if he had the brainpower to string together a sentence.

"What attack?" she asked, sharply.

James fisted his hands into his robes, twisting the material between his fingers. He cleared his throat, trying to look anywhere but her piercing green eyes.

"What attack?!" she repeated, her hands clenched into fists. "Does this have anything about where you were last night?"

"Er-" James stared at his lap.

"Look at me, James!"

James finally brought his head up to meet her unwavering gaze. She really was beautiful, it was quite distracting. Her green eyes were narrowed, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

James sat straighter, hoping for some burst of confidence. "Right. The attack."

He looked at Sirius for some sort of support or reassurance, but his best mate just shrugged his shoulders. _Useless,_ thought James.

Lily was still looking at him expectantly and James realized that he needed to tell her. Now.

He took a deep breath. "Right, so last night, we went... _out._ And we learned that there had been a Death Eater attack. On a Muggle family. Their son was a wizard... or well, he would have gotten his Hogwarts letter later that year. Death Eaters attacked the entire house. They're all dead."

Lily was silent as she processed the news. She bit her lip, her fingers clutching the edge of the table.

"I swear, I just found out! I just didn't know how to tell you, Lils," said James, trying his best to fill the silence.

She looked at him and gave him a sad smile. Her hand moved to cover his. "I know, James. I'm not angry. I'm just... processing."

James nodded and flipped his hand so he could weave his fingers through hers. He squeezed her hand lightly, proving that he was there for her.

"Why didn't I read about this in the Prophet?" she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Sirius scoffed. "Prophet's corrupt. They'll only print what the Ministry lets them. And the Ministry only prints what makes them look good."

"Oh," was Lily's short response.

"I thought that it was important that you knew. Especially since you're muggle-born. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but I wanted to tell you," assured James, his voice filled with sincerity.

"Thank you for telling me." She squeezed his hand one last time. "I have to run to class, though," she said, pulling her hand out of his grip.

"Lily, I-"

She stood up, silencing James' protest with a sharp glare. She clutched her schoolbag tightly, her fingers white again the brown strap.

"Lils, wait-"

Lily interrupted, her eyes locked with his. "I don't regret this."

Then, just to make her point, she grabbed James' shoulder, twisting him around to fully face her. She ran her fingers through his glorious dark hair, sifting the strands gently. He stared at her, astonished. _Because he's a right idiot_ , she concluded.

She then dipped her head to his, angling his chin up so she could press a lingering kiss to his jaw. James' breath hitched in his throat as he felt her breath on his skin, warm and inviting.

She walked away, without a glance behind her, but she knew that she had just proved her point.

"Merlin, I reckon she turned your brain to mush," Sirius quipped, going back to his breakfast.

Because Lily Evans was not ashamed of James Potter. Never would be, in fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> In this chapter, I chose to address a huge misconception a lot of people have about Lily. I've read that people think that Lily didn't love James as much as he loved her or that she wanted to keep their relationship a secret. I do not think that this was true. I do believe that Lily was more reserved, but I don't think that she would have wanted to hide their relationship. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	35. Chapter 35

Lily checked her watch one last time, praying that she wouldn't be late for her Defense lesson. Professor Bennett was a nice man, but he didn't stand for tardiness.

She made her way towards the Defense corridor, reviewing her Defense essay. She had to make sure she covered the main points regarding the difference between resisting the Imperius Curse and Occulumency.

Before she could even comprehend what was happening, a hand clamped around her upper arm and pulled her into an empty classroom. Lily was about to call for help when her captor placed a hand over her mouth.

"Don't scream. It's me," drawled a familiarly unfamiliar voice.

Lily flinched out of his grip, eyes flashing murderously. She stuffed her essay into her bag and crinkled her nose in distaste at the person standing in front of her.

Severus Snape stared back at her. His hair hung like a curtain around his face, only showing the end of his hooked nose. He attempted to smile at her, but it looked out-of-place on his unnaturally pale face.

"Lily, I-"

"This is highly inappropriate, Snape," Lily admonished, eyes narrowed.

"I had to talk to you."

"Why couldn't you do it like a normal person? I also respond to ' _Hi Lily, can I have a word?'"_

"You're never alone. _He's_ always with you."

" _He_ has a name, you know."

Severus ignored this. "Is it true? What I've heard about the two of you? Is it true?"

"Don't be a coward, Snape," Lily snapped. "Yes, I'm dating him."

"Lily! It's James Potter! You hated him!"

"No, that's not true. I never _hated_ him, per se. I found him incredibly immature and arrogant, but I never outright hated him."

"But-"

"And anyway," she said, her green eyes staring directly at him, "I don't see how this is any of your business."

"I had to hear it from you. I think I deserved that much."

"What you _deserve_ ," Lily gritted through her teeth, "is a lesson on how not to accost girls in a hallway."

Severus ignored her. "So, what now? You're going to live _happily ever after?_ " he snarled.

"You've lost the right to question my decisions, Severus."

She turned around and made her way toward the door, trying to put as much space as she could between her and Snape.

Snape spoke up just as she reached the door, "I'm worried about you, Lily."

Lily scoffed. "I'm perfectly fine, thanks. You do not need to concern yourself about me. I'm sure you have more important matters to attend to."

"Lily, you're important too."

Lily turned around to face him, a fire raging behind her eyes. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to act like we're friends after everything you've done. Did you think I would forget what you did to him? You _attacked_ James... intending to hurt him. That wasn't some childish prank. You _wanted_ to hurt him. It made you _happy_ to see him in pain. I will _never_ forgive you for that. And, don't _ever_ grab me like that again."

Snape looked shifty-eyed but still met her eyes with fire in his own.

"Listen to me. People will talk. You're- you're... _muggle-born_ ," he said the word like it physically pained him, "Potter's a pureblood. People will say nasty things. They'll say you're only with him for his money or his blood status. They'll call you awful names and _no one_ will take you seriously. You have so much potential, Lily, and you're throwing it all away for _Potter_."

Lily gaped at him, her fists clenched so tightly they had started to go numb. She knew she was missing class, and her friends would be worried, but she was just so damn _angry._ James had told her about the Death Eater attack on a poor muggle-born boy. She had bigger things to worry about than Severus' deep-rooted jealousy. She walked closer to him, making sure she still stood a good six feet away from her childhood friend.

Her voice was low, almost threatening, but she managed to keep it steady. "I don't give a _damn_ about what other people think of me. I especially don't give a damn about what _you_ think of me. I'm able to make my own decisions, and I stand by them. I'm with James because he's _ten times_ the man you will ever be. Oh, and," she paused for dramatic effect, "he's _never_ called me a racial slur."

Severus recoiled. "Lily, don't be unreasonable. I'm only telling you because I don't want you to get hurt. Potter is bad news. Stay with people who are like you, like McDonald."

"People like me? You're telling me to stay with Mary because she's a _mudblood_ like me?" Lily retorted, her lips twisting into a cruel grimace.

"No! It's because- because... because you two are similar! Lily, I swear, I'm just trying to help you."

"I've never asked for your help. You can leave now, Snape. And please, keep your filthy nose out of my business."

"I told you this before; he's going to get you killed. Don't come running to me-"

"JUST LEAVE!" she thundered, surprised at the strength of her own words. She caught herself against a desk, all the energy drained from this one interaction. She was shaking, she was sure of it.

Severus opened his mouth to interject but seemed to think otherwise. He took one last pitying look at Lily before he opened the door to the classroom and left.

Lily heard the door shut, and she released a sharp breath. She refused to cry in front of him, but she could now feel the tears prickling behind her eyes. She slumped to the ground, leaning her head on the legs of the desk and let the tears fall.

How had her friend turned into this manipulating bastard? How did he think it was okay for him to question her decisions? James had never threatened her or her safety. Why did Severus continually find ways to corner her against her will?

And all of that bullshit he had said about James? James was mature enough to know that Snape was a taboo topic for her. Yet why did Snape always confront her when he had problems with James? They weren't friends anymore and how long would it take until he got that through his thick skull?

On top of that, she still couldn't get the story of the young boy out of her head. What if Voldemort came for _her_ family? She was Head Girl, and definitely a more significant threat than some eleven-year-old muggle-born wizard. Still, it was cruel, and Lily didn't even know how to process the news. A boy had been killed just for _existing_. His entire family - gone. 

Lily sighed and ran a weak hand over her face. She drew her knees into her chest and rested her head against them. She gingerly wiped away the tears, her jaw tightening with anger as she rehashed the conversation she had with Severus.

She didn't know how long it had been since she was dragged into the classroom. She assumed it had been a while because the sun had started to cast different patterns on the tiled floors. She knew Alice and Mary were probably worried out of their minds, but Lily didn't have the strength to get off of the floor. She just wanted to sit there for a few aeons, wrapped up in her own thoughts.

"Lily?"

Lily's head jerked up. She took in Mary's form in the doorway and felt a rush of gratitude towards her friend. She ran towards her, enveloping the girl in a warm hug.

"Oh, Mary, thank god," Lily whispered in her ear.

Mary hugged her back, but eventually pulled back and gave her a look of concern. "Is everything alright? You weren't in Defense, and we were worried."

"I'm fine. I'm fine. At least I think I am."

"Are you hurt?" asked Mary, her blue eyes roving over Lily's face, looking for any signs of injury.

Lily snorted. "No, I'm not hurt, at least not physically. I may need some time to gather my thoughts, though."

She looped her arm through Mary's, resting her head on her shoulder.

A few moments later, Mary asked, "You ready to face the world, or do you need a few more minutes?"

"I'm good... though, how did you know where I was?" Lily realized with a start.

"James told me to come find you in this classroom. He's going a bit mad with worry, mind you."

Mary opened the door to the classroom, leading Lily out, arms still intertwined.

"Coming to lunch?" asked Mary, tilting her head towards the Great Hall.

Lily hesitated, "No, I think I'll go find James."

Mary gave a nod and a small smile, unhooking her arm from Lily's. "James is in the Head Dorm," she called over her shoulder.

Lily trudged up the stairs, just wanting to see James' face and know everything was going to be okay. She mumbled the password and stepped in through the portrait hole.

James was sitting on the sofa, reading over his Astronomy chart. He looked calm and collected, but Lily knew better. His posture was stiff, his feet flat on the floor, his arm bent at an awkward angle on the armrest.

He looked up when she walked in, relief flooding his features. He pushed the Astronomy chart aside and all but leapt at her, drinking her in. He gathered her in her arms, his eyes searching every inch of her face.

"Hi." Lily blushed.

"Oh god, Evans," breathed James, "you are going to be the death of me. Where were you this morning? It's not like you to skip Defense to sit in an empty classroom."

"Were you worried?" asked Lily, sidling up to him.

James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Of course I was worried stiff, Lily. I know you're more than capable of handling yourself, but I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't pay attention to a word Bennett said in class."

"Ok, ok, all jokes aside. Come sit with me," she pleaded, tugging on his hand.

James gave in, allowing her to pull him towards the couch. He sat next to her, and she snuggled into his shoulder, her hands playing with his fingers.

"It was Snape," she began.

James stiffened but didn't say anything.

"He was worried about what other people thought about our relationship. He said that people would think I'm only with you for your blood status and money."

James allowed a small smile to grace his face. "Are you with me for my blood status and money?"

"Obviously," Lily replied without skipping a beat, "Anyways, I told him that his opinions about our relationship are unwelcome."

James was silent. "Do you think we're a bad idea?"

" _No_ ," she emphasized, catching his chin in her hands, "I'll be honest. I didn't want to date you at first _because_ of our blood status. But, I wouldn't change this for anything in the world. I like you James, and I refuse to change that because Snape thinks otherwise."

She stared into his eyes, beautiful flecks of green and gold melding into their native hazel. She rubbed her thumb across his cheek, smirking as he flushed red.

He shifted a little, moving to take her hands in his own. "Lily, I really hate that slimy git."

"I'm impressed with the self-control you're showing, James," she teased lightly.

He stood up abruptly and began to pace in front of the fireplace. "The next time I see him-"

"No," interrupted Lily.

He whirled around to face her. "What?"

"If he provokes you, just promise me you won't engage," warned Lily, standing up from the couch.

"If he comes to me, I'll-"

"Promise me, James. You're better than this."

James sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I promise," he resigned.

Lily smiled. "Good, I'm glad that's over with."

She stepped closer to him, her arms coming to rest on his shoulders. She laced her hands at the back of his neck, balancing on her tiptoes to drop a small kiss on his lips.

"Thank you," she whispered.

She moved her arms to grip him around his waist, pulling him in for a hug. She leaned her head on his chest, and he rested his head atop hers.

They stood like that for a while, before Lily voiced the doubt that had been niggling at the back of her mind. "How did you know where to send Mary? How did you know where I was?"

Jame laughed. "That's a story for another time and place."

Lily bit her lip. She tried to ignore the way her heart fell. More secrets? Why couldn't he tell her? She was his girlfriend, wasn't she? Didn't that count for something?

"Well, Evans," said James, leaning away from her, "I could stay in your arms all day, but I believe it's time for Transfiguration."

Lily nodded but didn't remove her hand from his the entire way to the Transfiguration classroom, her thoughts battling in her head like a thunderstorm.


	36. Chapter 36

James face-planted into the couch, throwing his school bag onto the floor. He brought his hands to his hair, pulling hard on the strands.

"James, I don't think that's healthy," commented Lily.

James turned to face her. She was standing at the foot of the couch, a mug in her hands, trying to conceal her smile.

"Well, I might as well be dying, so who cares about my health?"

" _I_ do. Here, drink this," she said, thrusting the mug in her hands towards him.

James groaned as he arranged himself into a much more acceptable seated position, allowing Lily to take the seat next to him. He stretched his limbs out, propping his feet on the small coffee table in front of them. He took the mug from Lily, relishing how the steam rose from the cup, warming his hands.

He took a sip and sighed contently. He caught Lily's eye and noticed that she was looking at him, the corners of her mouth curved upwards. He raised his eyebrow at her, and she shook her head in answer, her face coloring.

He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in closer. "I'm never getting rid of you, Evans."

Lily snorted. "Why? Because I bring you tea when you need it?" Nonetheless, she rested her head on his shoulder, fingering the end of his tie.

"Nope," he said, popping the _p,_ "It's because _you're_ here when I need you."

Lily felt the butterflies in her stomach, and she knew she was grinning like a buffoon. It didn't matter. James just made her feel so... important.

She looked up at him. "So, what's caused all of this melodrama?"

"Melodrama?!" gasped James, clutching his chest. "Are you calling _me_ melodramatic?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Just tell me what's going on."

"I got an invitation."

"To what?"

"To my father's retirement party."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No."

"So, your father's retiring from Sleekeazy's?"

James nodded, his eyes focused on the tips of his trainers.

"So Mr. Future Owner of Sleekeazy's, what're you gonna do with the company?"

James' face darkened. "Oh. Right."

Lily frowned. "Have I said something wrong?"

"No, no. It's not that. It's just that—well— I don't really _want_ the company."

Lily stared at him. "Huh? What d'you mean you don't 'want' the company?"

James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Well, I've never really thought of myself running a potions company, you know?"

"It's your _father's_ company."

"I know! I'm rubbish at Potions, and I barely know how to be Head Boy, much less run a whole company."

"So, what then? Your father's going to sell the company?"

"Er—" James scratched the back of his neck. "We haven't really spoken about it, actually."

"James!" Lily smacked his arm.

"What?!" he exclaimed, "I just never found the right time to tell him. He's been talking about me taking over the company for ages, and I just... don't know how to break it to him."

"James," she paused, gauging her words, "you have to tell him. It's not fair to either of you."

"That's just it. I wouldn't be ashamed to tell him if I actually had an _alternative_ option. The truth is, I have no idea what I want to do with my life."

"I thought you wanted to be an Auror?"

James looked at her, his eyes brightening. "How did you know that? Have you been stalking me, Evans?"

"No! Of course not. Lina told me," Lily said smoothly, though the color in her cheeks suggested otherwise.

"Lina? As in Lina Chaser-Of-The-Gryffindor-Quidditch-Team Williams? That Lina? My Lina?"

"She's not _your_ Lina. I'm allowed to talk to her, too, you know. We're friends."

"I thought you had a thing against Quidditch players!" he cried, incredulously. "That's what you said to me."

"I only had a thing against _you_."

"Oh."

"But, I'm sitting here with you now, aren't I? So, quit whinging and tell me about this Auror situation."

James grumbled something about _bloody confusing girlfriends_ before he leaned his head back against the top of the couch.

"Where do I begin? An Auror was the perfect career. I mean, you've met me, I loved every aspect of being an Auror. The adrenaline. The power. It was always about being a glorified hero for me."

"What changed?"

"Reality hit me."

"What d'you mean?"

"Being an Auror isn't all fun and games. It's complicated. People die. You basically waste years of your life going through training where you're just a sitting duck. I want to _act_. Now."

"You're seventeen, James. There's not much you can do."

"Don't remind me."

"I'm not trying to be cheeky. We're students. No one expects us to save the entire Wizarding World."

James looked at her then. He tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on the side of her face. "You could do it," he whispered to her. "If there's anyone who could save us, it would be you."

Lily closed her eyes at his touch, bringing her hand up to cover his. She weaved her fingers through his, her heart racing. "Wouldn't that be ironic? A muggle-born saving the world?"

James frowned at this. He loosened his grip on her fingers. "Why does everything have to do with blood status?"

Lily shook her head, a pained smile appearing on her face. "I'll ask You-Know-Who the next time I see him."'

"I'm serious, Lil," said James, letting out a frustrated sigh. "You're clever and kind and practical."

"I also think you're clever and kind and practical."

"Oh, really?" He quirked an eyebrow at her, smirking.

She boxed his shoulder.

"Oi!"

"Stop changing the subject," she warned.

"I'm not! A bloody maniac just attacked me." He gingerly rubbed the spot on his shoulder.

"'A bloody maniac'? A few moments ago, I was 'clever and kind and practical.'"

"Who's changing the subject now?" he quipped.

"Fine," she conceded. "So, what now? Are you just going to take over the company? And be utterly miserable?"

"Bloody hell, I have no idea. Mum and Dad, they're getting on a bit. They had me pretty late and well... I don't want to disappoint them."

"I think you should tell him. Be honest. I'm sure they'd rather have you doing what you love." 

James pondered this. He _wanted_ to tell his parents. He just didn't know how to go about it. _Hi Dad, screw the company I'm going to do god-knows-what_ didn't seem like a great conversation starter. He knew that he would have to speak to his parents sooner rather than later. His dad was retiring in May, just after James got out of Hogwarts. James hoped he would have a better idea of his future by then, but he realized that he needed to tell his father. It wasn't fair to either of them.

James nodded. "I think I'm going to do it. Face-to-face. Maybe during Christmas, what d'you reckon?"

Lily smiled. "I think that's perfect."

"Enough about me and my non-existent future, what about you? What's the brilliant Lily Evans going to do after Hogwarts?"

"I wish she knew."

"Oh come on, Lil. You must have a dream. I've known you for seven years. You always have a plan."

"I told McGonagall I wanted to be on the Wizengamot," said Lily, shyly, wringing her hands.

"Merlin, Lil! That's amazing!"

Lily's heart swelled as she continued, "When I was younger, I wanted to be a Healer, but now, that just seems so passive. I mean, yes, of course, it's important to be able to save lives and whatnot, but I want to be in the thick of it. I want to _know_ what's going on and have an active say. Magical Law Enforcement seems to be the best bet for me. McGonagall thinks I could do it, as long as I keep my grades up."

James grabbed her hand and squeezed it, pressing a small kiss to the inside of her wrist. "You're clever and kind and practical. They'd be fools to reject you."

She beamed at him, her chest blooming with an indescribable feeling.

"Lily," James sat up straighter, "I've meant to talk to you."

"About what?"

James steeled himself. "Well, about your family, actually."

Lily stiffened. "What about them?"

"I don't mean to impose or anything, but I was just thinking..." he trailed off, trying to gauge her reaction. He continued when she remained silent.

"I wanted to know if you've placed any wards around your house."

Lily gaped at him. "Wards?"

James nodded, his hand absently playing with the ends of her hair. "Just to keep them safe, you know. In case something—well, just in case."

"James," she wriggled out of his grasp, "you're worrying me."

James let out a breath. "It's just— after that attack I told you about, I've been worried. About your family."

A tense silence persisted as Lily contemplated his words. As a muggle-born, she wasn't blind to the situation raging on beyond the walls of Hogwarts. However, she thought she would at least have some more time before she had to face the problem. And now, James had reminded her that her family was in danger. Just because of who she was. Lily wanted to scream or punch something or do both.

James, recognizing the small crease on Lily's brow, which meant she was deep in thought, carried on.

"I could help you... with the spells. Not that you _need_ any help. I want to make sure they're safe."

She finally looked at him, green meeting hazel. "I told them, you know."

"About the attack?"

"About you."

"Lily—"

"No, listen to me. I don't want to talk about the war. I just want to be here... with you."

James sighed. He never really was good at denying Lily Evans. "Fine, fine. Promise me you'll think about it, though."

"We can put them up together. When you come to visit me for Christmas."

"I'm coming to visit you for Christmas?"

Lily glared at him. "Of course you are. Only for your sanity, mind you. I fear you'd miss me too much."

James laughed. "That I would, Evans. That I would."

She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. James placed an arm around her, and Lily smiled, content. Never in a million years did she imagine she would find comfort in James Potter's arms. And now, she couldn't imagine being anywhere else. After years and years of rejecting him, she eventually did give in to him. But it wasn't because he changed. It was because she stopped being blind. Her heart clenched as she realized what a shrew she had been to him. She swallowed thickly, a bitter taste in her mouth.

"James."

"Hmm?"

"I was horrible to you, wasn't I?"

James chuckled. "I think I deserved it. I was pretty horrible to you too."

No," she pressed on, shifting so that she faced him. "I was awful to you. I know that. I really am sorry. It's just that I—"

"Lily," interrupted James, "please, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, _shut up_."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "James..."

"I'm going to kiss you now."

That definitely shut Lily up.

And, he did kiss her. He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, briefly. As he moved away, Lily looped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. She sighed as she breathed in his scent; her veins thrumming with euphoria. James' hands tangled in her hair and her own hands brushed the rough skin of his jaw. Lily deepened the kiss, her mind heady with bliss, and James responded in no time. His lips pressed against hers urgently, and she pushed at his shoulders, so that they both toppled over, his back against the arm of the couch. She followed him, her hands fisted in the material of his white dress shirt, his splayed across her back and waist.

He pulled away from her suddenly, his eyes finding hers.

"Lily," murmured James, his voice huskier than it had been before. He leaned his forehead against hers, his breath coming out in small puffs.

Breathlessly, she said, "James."

She tangled her legs with his and buried her head in the crook of his neck, her arms wrapping around his torso. James tucked his chin on top of her head, tracing small patterns on her side.

The two of them spread out on the couch together, enveloped around each in a satisfying silence. Lily could hear the comforting rhythmic beating of his heart, her own heart skittering at his touch. James stared at the ceiling, marveling at how lucky he was to hold Lily Evans in his arms.

Slowly, Lily broke the silence, looking up at him.

"Oh, and Potter?"

He arched his eyebrow at her. "Back to surnames, are we?"

Lily ignored him, snuggling into his arms further. "I'm never getting rid of you, either."

James knew that the war was on the horizon. Once they left Hogwarts, they would be thrust into the thick of it. But right now, with his arms wrapped around Lily, he could care less about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Jilytober!! (No, our favorite characters did NOT die on Halloween, it's purely symbolic, haha)
> 
> I sincerely apologize for the delay in updating. I've been so swamped with school and work that I've had trouble finding time to write. Hopefully, this chapter, with lots of Jily fluff, makes up for it. Thank you to all of you who commented on previous chapters; I loved it!
> 
> I've also been working on other Jily projects. I've written TWO Jily one-shots, and I've also started a new project called Royal Invasion (a Jily Royalty AU). You can find them on my AO3 profile (@rainasteele) or my Tumblr (rainasteele.tumblr.com). It would mean the world to me if you read them and left your wonderful comments on them!
> 
> This story is NOT abandoned. Updates may be sparse and far between, but I will finish this story. Feel free to message me with any questions!
> 
> Stay safe and keep doing good in the world :)


	37. Chapter 37

"...So that's why the Mending Charm can't repair damage caused by Fiendfyre."

"Oh, I see now! Merlin, Lily, you have no idea how long I was struggling with that."

Lily laughed. "Trust me. I struggled with it for a while, too. It's a pretty complex concept."

She handed the textbook over to Dorcas, who was sitting across from her, quickly jotting down a few notes. Around her, the library was brimming with activity as students milled around, finishing their work. Lily rested her head on her arm as Dorcas penned the last few sentences on her parchment.

"Lily!"

Lily turned to see James walking towards her, his pace brisk. His hair was in an awful state of disarray, and creases lined his school robes. Lily felt the familiar thump in her chest as he drew closer.

"James, what's going on? I'm in the middle of–"

"Listen to me," James cut her off, "We have a problem."

"What? Is everything okay? Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," he said, dismissing her concern. "The schedule. I think I mucked it up. I have Jones patrolling with Remus on the 20th, but er–well... you know... he's busy."

"Oh."

James continued, "And I would take it over, but... I _can't_."

So, that was it then. He wasn't going to tell her... still. After almost a month of being together, he was still keeping secrets from her. And, it wasn't the fact that he was keeping it from her that bothered her. It was the fact that he didn't trust her enough with whatever was burdening him. And that hurt.

"Lils?" he asked, nudging her shoulder.

"Hmm?" She looked up at him with a pained smile, "Don't worry about it. I'll patrol with Jones."

"You're the best, Lily."

He pecked her on the cheek and squeezed her hand, his eyes full of gratitude. Lily just nodded, her throat dry.

He then turned to Dorcas and gave her a brilliant smile. "Hey there, Meadowes, how's it going?"

"Just trying my best to have even an ounce of Lily's brilliance," Dorcas replied, gesturing towards Lily.

James chuckled. "We'll all get there someday, trust me," he responded, with a friendly pat to Dorcas' shoulder.

He sent one last grateful look Lily's way before picking up his bag and walking away. Lily had barely processed any of the conversation, a glassy look in her eyes as her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.

"Is he always that dramatic?"

"Hmm?" Lily hummed, absently, still staring at the retreating form of James Potter.

"Potter, your boyfriend, whatever you call him. Is he always that dramatic?" repeated Dorcas, gesturing vaguely in his direction.

"He has a penchant for drama, yes."

Dorcas glanced at the older girl. "Are you alright, Lily?"

Lily nodded absently, giving Dorcas a small smile. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine. Sorry about that."

"You know," Dorcas began, "I never thought you would finally give into him."

Lily smiled at that. "Neither did I."

"So, what happened? He changed?"

Lily considered this. "No, I think we both changed in our own ways. I learned that it's okay to be reckless sometimes. And he learned that it's okay to follow the rules, sometimes. We're both really different people, but together, I think we work well. And he's cute." She smiled.

Dorcas snorted. "I think the entirety of Hogwarts realized he was cute before you, Lily."

Lily shrugged. "It's not his defining characteristic, but it doesn't hurt."

"Oh yeah?" challenged Dorcas, "What's his 'defining characteristic,' then?"

Lily swatted at Dorcas' hand, which was propping up her chin. "Don't make fun of me!"

Laughing, Dorcas shoved her notes into her bag. "I'm not! I swear!"

"Finish your essay," Lily admonished, "James Potter is no one's concern."

"But he's your concern," quipped Dorcas, raising an eyebrow, stifling her laughter behind her hand.

Lily spluttered before throwing a spare piece of rumpled parchment at Dorcas. The younger girl ducked and sent the paper rolling behind her. Lily shook her head, her cheeks red. She tucked her hair behind her ear and went back to her textbook.

James Potter _was_ her concern, especially when he was keeping secrets from her.

\-------------------------------------------

Remus looked up when James dropped a textbook on the table, sitting down across from him. He marked his place in his own book with his finger and raised a questioning brow at his friend.

"Prongs, did you tell her?"

Beside him, Sirius huffed angrily. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently on the floor.

James observed the reactions of his two friends before turning to Peter, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

"What do you think, Wormtail? Should I have told her?"

Sirius relaxed visibly, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. Remus, on the other hand, clenched his jaw, tightening his grip on his quill. Peter shrugged, uninterested, and went back to his essay.

"James," Remus said, "you have to tell her."

"And I will... someday. But, just not today. And anyway, she agreed to take over your patrol, so all's well that ends well," James replied, straightening his glasses.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "As much as I am in support of Not Telling Evans, she's a smart bird. She's going to figure it out eventually. Or at least start asking questions."

"And we'll tackle that hurdle when we get there. Right now, she doesn't need to know."

Remus scrubbed his face with both hands, sighing. "Prongs, she deserves to know. Lily already knows part of the truth, what's the harm in telling her the whole truth?"

Peter looked up at this. "Are you afraid she's going to break up with you? Or worse, land you in Azkaban?"

James threw a dirty look at Peter before turning to address Remus. "Moony, I can't just tell her. It's not fair to all of us. We worked so hard, and telling her seems... wrong."

"What's wrong about it? I'm agreeing to it! I _want_ her to know!" Remus exclaimed.

"It's not only about you! It's about Peter and me and Sirius. You don't get to make decisions for all of us, Remus," hissed James, his eyes narrowing.

Sirius' eyes darted back and forth between his friends. "Prongs, Lily's reasonable. She's not going to–"

"I don't want to discuss this! I'm not telling her, and that's final!"

James slammed his hands on the table, causing Peter to jump. Remus dropped his head to the table with a _thunk,_ and Sirius lifted his hands in mock surrender. James ran an agitated hand through his hair, looking around them to make sure no one in the library had overheard.

When he had calmed down, James opened the textbook in front of him, desperate to end the discussion. James knew that Lily had an inkling of an idea of where he was going during the full moons, but as long as she was content not bringing it up, he didn't see the need to disrupt the peaceful equilibrium between them. He was sure that the information would just naturally come up one day, once they had settled into the routine of being in a relationship.

Patiently, Remus let James' anger run its course. He knew from experience that the rare times that James got angry, it was best to let him simmer on his own.

"So, when are you going to tell her then?" he interjected, once he was sure his friend had calmed down a bit.

James sighed and rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. "I dunno, okay? It's just too early. She doesn't need to know just yet. I do want to tell her, but we all have to agree. It's not just my secret or yours, Moony."

Remus nodded. "James, I trust you. We _all_ trust you," he said, gesturing around the table. "I know you're worried about what Lily will say, but I also trust her. You can tell her whenever you're ready, but I would prefer not to keep secrets from someone I trust."

"You know, in all honesty, I think Lily would be pretty understanding," agreed Peter.

James slumped in his seat. "I know. I'm just afraid to bring her into all of this because it means that... it's _real."_

"Prongs, you've been chewing our ears off for the past three years about how perfect Evans is. She's going to start wanting answers. She's not just going to go along with whatever pathetic excuse you've been giving her," added Sirius, in a rare moment of prophetic insight.

Before James could respond, Remus jumped in, "Look, James, I don't want to rush you. In the end, it's your decision whether to tell her or not. I'm just saying, in my opinion, she should know sooner rather than later."

James let out a slow breath but nodded along. "I promise I'll tell her before the term's over."

"That's fair," said Remus, and the four of them continued with their schoolwork, the topic niggling unpleasantly in the backs of their minds.


	38. Chapter 38

_Dear Marley,_

_First of all, I would like to congratulate you on_ finally _setting a wedding date! I actually thought you were going to die a spinster. Of course, I don't think Adam would have allowed it. I'm still waiting for my invitation, though!_

_Anyways, classes are going well. Head Duties take up a lot of time, but everything's been going well. Super well, actually. Speaking of which, I have some big news._

_I'm dating James Potter._

_Yes, I know, you can start screaming or throwing things or whatever reaction suits you best. But yes, it's true. I am dating James Potter._

_And honestly, it's been amazing. I thought that we were complete opposites, but we're more alike than different. He always surprises me with what he does, though he still manages to be a total prat._

_On a completely different note, I wanted to tell you that I'm learning wandless magic! Professor Flitwick has been teaching me how to summon my wand. It's thrilling and exhausting, but I love the challenge._

_Anyways, other than that, it's business as usual. Between schedules and rounds and classes, I barely get any time to read or write to you. I promise I'll do better, though. Give my best to Adam!_

"Lily?" floated a voice through a crack in her door.

"Up here!"

She heard a series of thumps outside her door until James opened it and poked his head in to check on her.

He was dressed for Quidditch, his broomstick hoisted on his shoulder. His goggles were strapped onto his forehead, his hair trapped underneath.

"I'm heading out to practice. Need anything from me?"

Lily shook her head, turning back to her letter. She signed it with a flourish and waited for the ink to dry.

"What's that?" James was still standing in the doorway. He pushed her door open further and crossed the threshold to hover over her.

"I'm posting a letter."

"To whom?"

"Marlene."

"McKinnon's girlfriend? Head Girl a few years back?"

"Yeah, though, she's his fiancée now."

James nodded, his eyes lighting with recognition. "I read her letter. At the beginning of term."

Lily snorted, remembering the nasty fight they had over that letter. "She's basically my role model. She's honestly one of the most amazing people I've met."

"Bar me."

Lily laughed. "Yes, bar you. Though sometimes, she has got you beat."

"I'm offended."

Lily shrugged, twirling her quill in her fingers. "I don't know what to tell you, mate."

James nudged her shoulder, causing her to look up at him. He placed a small kiss on her forehead, inhaling her scent. Lily's eyes were closed, a small smile on her lips. Her hair was pulled back, away from her face, giving James the perfect view of the slight smattering of freckles on her nose.

He pulled away. "I'll see you after practice."

Lily suddenly reached out and clasped the back of his robes, causing James to jerk to a stop. He turned around to face her, a questioning look in his eyes.

Lily, for her part, said nothing, and eyed him, the fabric of his robes still bunched up in her fist.

James raised his eyebrows. "Evans, are you checking me out?"

Lily's jaw dropped open, and she released his robes, smacking his arm. "Shut up!"

"Well, if you're done, I have a practice to get to."

Lily blushed. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" she squeaked, shoving him towards the door.

"I'll see you soon," he called behind him, "Don't wait up for me!"

In response, all he heard was the sound of Lily's door magically slamming shut. He chuckled to himself as he took the stairs two at a time out of the Heads dormitory.

When he reached the locker rooms, the majority of the team was already there, slipping on their equipment. He slung an arm around Sirius, who was trying, unsuccessfully, to untangle his goggles from the rest of his gear.

"Need a hand?" James asked.

Sirius grunted but shook his head. He pulled on the straps of his goggles, causing the whole contraption to shoot across the room and hit poor Isaac Coalson across the back. James smacked Sirius' head, pulling out his wand and summoning the goggles with a quick _Accio_.

"You're allowed to say 'thank you'," deadpanned James at Sirius' underwhelming response. Sirius just shot him a choice finger and wrestled the goggles onto his head.

James walked around and greeted the rest of his team. He adjusted the straps on Chris Taylor's chest gear and tightened Lucas Thompson's keeper helmet. Coalson had just finished getting ready as James took a minute to help him shoulder his broom.

Lina poked her head into the dressing room, her eyes roving over the boys before landing on James. "You lot ready?"

James nodded and beckoned his team to march over to the field. The weather was chilly for a brisk early November evening, and James pulled on his gloves, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm.

Sirius sidled up next to him, the tip of his nose already turning red from the chill. James and Sirius both grabbed one end of the case that held the balls for the game, carrying it between the both of them.

"How's Lil?"

James looked up at Sirius in mild surprise. "She's fine. Why?"

Sirius shrugged. "Just wondering. She's alright with you coming to practice?"

"She knows that Quidditch is important to me. I don't need her permission to come to practice," replied James, a bit defensive.

He heard a whispered shout from behind his shoulder, but he chose to ignore it and focused on Sirius.

"I know, Prongs," said Sirius, after a moment of hesitation, "I just want to make sure you knew that."

Before James could understand Sirius' cryptic reply, he heard another shout behind him.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked, stopping and turning around. He roughly dropped the case on the ground, barely avoiding crushing his toes.

"They've been like that since the beginning. They won't stop shouting at each other," murmured his other Chaser, Anya Wilson.

Chris and Lina were standing a meter apart at the edge of the field, red in the face. Lina's broomstick was on the ground beside her feet while Chris was lazily propped up against his.

"Why would you say that?!" Lina was asking, exasperatedly.

"It was a joke! Lighten up, will you? Don't be such a priss."

Lina narrowed her eyes. "Oh, you think I'm a priss? I'll show you-"

"OI!" James roared, "That's enough!" He walked over to the pair of them and pulled Lina's wand out of her hand.

"What is going on?!"

Chris had the decency to look sheepish. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Er- it was just a little joke. Nothing to worry about. Lina's just overreacting."

Lina gasped. " _Overreacting?_ Overreacting! I-"

"Lina!" James interrupted. By now, the entire team had stopped to stare at the three of them. "Quit it. This is a team. We are a team. Whatever issue you have with each other, take it up after practice. We have a match on Saturday against Slytherin and a lot of work to do. So, please, just stay away from each other if that's what it takes."

He tossed Lina's wand back to her. Chris shrugged and hoisted his broomstick up onto his shoulder, walking towards the pitch with the rest of the team. Lina muttered something under her breath as she bent down to pick up her broomstick.

The whole practice went downhill from there.

When he finally got Lina and Chris to stop yelling at each other, he yelled _himself_ hoarse, trying to help Anya get more confident with catching the Quaffle. Isaac almost sprained his wrist by holding onto the Beater's bat in the wrong form, and Lucas barely saved two goals. When James got back in the air to try out a new Chaser formation, Chris had goaded Lina, and the two of them were at each other's throats once again.

Chris was in the air, flying lazily around the goalposts. Lina was speeding towards him, her hair whipping angrily in the wind.

"At least I know how to brew a Draught of Peace without killing the subject!" he yelled at her as she stopped right in front of him.

"That was _one_ time, and I didn't kill anyone! And I told you that in confidence. How dare you bring it up in front of the entire team?" Lina retorted furiously.

She brought up both her hands and shoved Chris. The seeker barely had enough time to react, tightly wrapping both his arms around the front of his broomstick. The sudden shift in the centre of gravity caused the entire broomstick to pitch forward. Chris, as luck would have it, was a rather skilled flyer and countered the movement by leaning backwards.

Once he has regained his balance, he twisted to face Lina, a fire burning in his eyes. "What the hell was that for? I could've broken my neck!"

"Guess I'll have to try harder next time," she replied, her voice falsely sugary.

"Blimey, Lina, it's common sense!"

Lina snorted. "I know _I_ have enough sense not to take a bloody Hufflepuff to Hogsmeade. Can't say the same about you."

That's when James blew his whistle. The shrill sound pierced through the air, and the entire team froze, including Chris and Lina.

"Williams, Taylor, down here _now!"_ he shouted, his voice carrying over the wind. "The rest of you run some drills."

He was angry. It took all his self-control not to yell at the pair of them right then and there. Instead, using the minuscule responsibility he had gained as Head Boy, he beckoned the two of them towards the sidelines.

"The pair of you are really testing my patience," James began, his voice low as he clenched his fists, trying to diffuse his anger.

Chris started, "Potter-"

James cut him off with a glare. "Let me finish."

He observed his most skilled players. Lina was decidedly looking at a point above his shoulder, refusing to make eye contact with him. Chris was lazily tracing circles on the ground with his foot, his broomstick lying forgotten next to him.

"This is my last warning. I don't want either of you talking to each other if you're just going to act like children. If I have to stop practice one more time since the two of you can't sort out whatever problem you have, I _will_ put you on probation."

At this, Chris' head snapped up, and Lina looked right at him, eyes wide.

"Potter, you can't-"

"I can," he bit back, firmly, "and I will. I don't care if I have to use the reserve players. If we lose our match on Saturday because of that, so be it. Grow up. I don't _ever_ want the two of you to bring your personal problems onto the pitch. The entire team does not need to be the audience to your drama."

Chris nodded. "You got it, cap. Sorry about that. Won't happen again."

James sounded his whistle to signal the end of practice. They weren't getting any work done, and he could feel the beginnings of a headache stirring up inside his skull. He dismissed the team to the locker rooms.

Lina stayed behind, clearing her throat as she looked at him.

"I expected better from you, Williams."

Lina abruptly closed her mouth, biting back a retort. She dropped her eyes to the ground, her hands clasped behind her back. James turned away from her and began packing up the balls, cleaning the dirt off of them with a quick _Scourgify_. With another swish of his wand, the case was levitating in the air.

He felt a light tug at his sleeve and turned to see Lina, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"I- I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll work it out with Chris, I promise. We'll be on our best game for the match on Saturday."

James nodded. "Thanks, Lina.

"You're a good captain, Potter. We won't let you down. We're gonna crush Slytherin."

James walked back to the locker rooms in silence with Lina. The younger girl barely made any attempt at a conversation, which was somewhat surprising to James because Lina always had something to say. Once inside the castle, Lina bid a quiet goodnight to James and headed into the girls' locker room. James deposited the wooden case in the storage closet before deciding to head straight up to the Head's Common Room for a shower. 

Lily had moved from her room to the couch in front of the fireplace. She was sitting cross-legged, leaning an elbow on the arm of the sofa, a textbook spread across her lap. She had changed into her pajamas, wearing a pair of fluffy pants and a long sleeve shirt to ward off the chill.

"How was practice?" she asked, glancing up from her textbook.

James groaned and tossed his broomstick to the floor. He wrestled himself out of his Quidditch robes and sat down beside Lily on the couch, leaning his head on her shoulder. Lily, abandoning her textbook to the side, gently guided his head onto her lap. James closed his eyes, and she soothingly ran her fingers through his hair.

"That bad?"

"Even worse," said James, "Anya's so afraid she's going to drop the Quaffle that she commits about a hundred fouls. Lucas, my Keeper, always gets so confused in the air that he ends up letting the Quaffle fly right into the goal. And Isaac, my goodness. He's not the best Beater, but he could be loads better if he actually let Sirius help him. He just wants to go off and do his own thing. And-"

"I hope you know I don't understand half of what you just said."

James pinched his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Lily covered his hand with her own, making sure to remove his glasses and fold them onto the table next to her. She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, smiling as she saw the tension seep out of him.

"But," she continued, "that doesn't mean you have to stop. I'm listening."

James smiled, opening his eyes and squinting at her blurry form. "Anyway, the highlight of practice was definitely Lina and Chris. The two of them couldn't stop yelling at each other. I'd go to help Sirius and Issac with the bludger, and within seconds, the two of them would be arguing on the other side of the pitch. I don't even know why they were arguing. He said something about her Draught of Peace, and she overreacted to his joke."

"And then," he continued, gesticulating wildly, "she brought up something about Hogsmeade. About how he was taking a Hufflepuff or something like that. Merlin, I will never understand what goes through her mind."

"Wait," Lily stopped him, grabbing his arm, "she said that? About Hogsmeade?"

James shrugged, "I dunno why they're even arguing. They were fine last week. It's giving me a headache listening to them bicker."

Lily smiled knowingly to herself, "I'm sure they'll work it themselves soon enough."

"I hope so too. A bloke can only take so much."

Lily hummed in agreement. She shook his shoulder lightly. "Go shower. You're exhausted."

"Mmmm, I would rather just stay right here," he sighed contently, snuggling further into her arms.

She laughed, pushing him off of her. "Get off, you oaf. You have Arithmancy in the morning."

James rolled to the side, allowed her to shut her textbook. He tugged on a strand of her hair, and she swatted at him lazily. As she got up to turn in for the night, he reached out and clasped her wrist.

"Thanks for listening, Lil."

She smiled affectionately and ruffled his hair. "Anytime, Potter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> These next few chapters are some of my favorite ones (they're all centered around Quidditch), so be sure to let me know what you thought in the comments!


	39. Chapter 39

On Saturday, Lily awoke to an empty dorm room. She was surprised that James had already gotten up since he was usually a late riser. She quickly brushed her teeth and showered, managing to stuff her unfinished essay into her bag as she pulled on her socks.

When she entered the Great Hall, she sighed with relief as she spotted James sitting at the Gryffindor table, a plate full of food in front of him. Lily walked towards him, stopping when she was standing across the bench from him. She dropped her bag on the floor next to her as she grabbed a plate and sat down.

She began to pile food onto her own plate, frowning when she noticed James still hadn't touched his food. Lily nudged his foot, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." His voice was raspy. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"Don't lie to me, Potter," she threatened, brandishing the butter knife she was using.

"First Quidditch match of the season," he croaked, still not making eye contact with her.

That's when Lily took in her surroundings. It was still pretty early in the morning, so only a few people were in the Great Hall eating breakfast at the moment. However, the few Gryffindors she noticed were all decked out in the telltale red and gold.

"Oh, well, I'm sure it's important to _eat_ before a match. Go on," she told him, sliding his plate closer to him.

James continued to stare at his plate, food remaining untouched.

"Come on, James. You're the Captain, for Merlin's sake. You have to eat _something_."

"I don't."

"He _speaks!"_ Lily exclaimed sarcastically.

James threw her a dirty look, but slowly picked up his fork and speared some hash browns onto it. However, he still remained unmoving, his gaze fixed on the potatoes in front of him.

Lily sighed and dropped her own knife, moving to place her hand over his. "James, you look like you're going to be sick. Is everything alright?"  
  
He gave a noncommittal murmur and swirled his fork around his plate. 

A rough hand on her shoulder startled her. 

"He's always like this before a match," Sirius said, sliding onto the bench next to her. "You're lucky if you can even get him to look at you, much less speak."

Sirius was already dressed in his Quidditch robes, the ends of them trailing on the floor next to her. On the other hand, James looked like he had slept in his school uniform, his white shirt wrinkled, and his tie was crooked. His hair, usually in a constant state of disarray, looked even more rumpled than usual.

"Did you even sleep last night?" Lily asked him, taking in his appearance.

He shrugged. "No."

Lily sighed and reached over to grasp the handle of the coffee pot. She poured the black liquid into a mug and pushed it into James' hands.

"Drink."

He shook his head and tried to put the mug down, but Lily's grip was firm. 

"Drink it. Now," she ordered. 

He looked up at her, eyes dull. "I don't even like coffee."

She shared a quick look with Sirius. "There's always a first time for everything."

He glowered at her but took a sip nonetheless. She watched his face screw up at the bitter taste, and he quickly swallowed the liquid. 

"Well played, Evans," said Sirius, lifting his own mug at her.

Lily hid a smile as she lightly punched Sirius' arm. She looked at James, who was still taking small sips of his coffee in distaste.

"How d'you manage this, Lil? It's so... strong," he said finally, looking up at her.

"Drink half of it for me today, and I'll make you your favourite Earl Grey after the match," she promised.

As breakfast progressed, the hall started to become more packed with supporters from both teams. It seemed as if there had been some sort of deal made, with most of the Hufflepuffs sporting the signature ivy and silver for Slytherin while the Ravenclaws were wrapped in Gryffindor gear. 

The rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team joined their table, each of them giving James a small clap on the back and smiling kindly at Lily. James was looking much better and nodded a quick "Morning," to each of them.

Lina came by and dropped into the spot on the bench next to Lily, her long hair tied back. Lily marvelled at Lina's pre-game glow. The younger girl was bursting with energy, her cheeks bright and her eyes radiant. She glanced over at the rest of her team, her jaw clenching when she spotted Chris, but she regained her composure quickly.

"Morning, Lina," greeted Lily, handing a plate to her.

"Hey, Lily! It's match day!" she grinned.

"I can tell. You look excited."

"Oh, yes. I love playing matches. James here looks like he swallowed a cow, but I'm ready to win!" Lina teased, smiling widely.

Lily stifled a chuckle as James glared at Lina. "Oi, I can still bench you, Williams."

"I doubt you'll be able to salvage a win with only 2 Chasers, captain," Lina challenged.

"With your abysmal Chaser skills, you're not really adding much to the team, Lina," Chris cut in.

Lina's bright demeanour darkened as she locked eyes with the Seeker. Lily could feel the tension crackling in the air, and James sent an exasperated look her way. 

"Christ, Taylor, give her a break," James chided. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Chris just rolled his eyes and sat further down the bench, picking up a roll and buttering it. Lily checked the time on her wristwatch and nudged Sirius' foot off of her rucksack. 

"I'm going to head out, now," she said, tapping Sirius' shoulder as a gesture of good luck. He looked up at her with his mouth stuffed with food and gave her a quick nod.

"Good luck," she wished James, leaning over the table to give him a quick peck on the cheek, "Come find me in the library after your game. I want to hear all about it."

James smiled at her before turning back to his team. Lily noticed that he had regained some of the colour in his face, not looking as peaky as he had this morning. She knew he was a talented Quidditch player; she had heard enough about him for years from her fellow Gryffindors.

Seeing him surrounded by his team, warmed her heart. He was a leader; she could see that from the way his teammates looked at him. Even Sirius, who adamantly refused to obey an authority figure, nodded along with whatever James was saying to him.  
  
Lily warmly squeezed Lina's shoulder before picking up her bag from the floor. James caught her eye as she was leaving the Great Hall and sent her a wink. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she scoffed in response. 

She made her way to the library, passing by many Quidditch supporters bundled up in scarves to stay warm, nevertheless rooting for either Gryffindor or Slytherin. She noticed Remus and Peter among the crowd, the latter waving to her.

She made her way towards them. "Hey Peter, Remus."

"Lil! Are you coming to the match?" asked Peter with a bright smile.

Lily laughed. "Unfortunately, no. I have an unfinished essay that I've been meaning to get done. But you guys look all ready to go!"

Remus waved the small flag in his hand lazily. "Got to support our best mates."

Lily bid goodbye to them and quickly entered the library, finding a small secluded corner near the window. She couldn't see the Quidditch Pitch from where she was sitting, but the view of the Black Lake was phenomenal. 

She cracked open her textbook and set out her inkpot. She picked up her quill and set it to the parchment, the words flowing easily once she found her niche.

Around midday, Lily looked out the window and noticed that the sun had risen higher. She checked her wristwatch and realized almost two and a half hours had already passed. She cracked her knuckles, rereading over the last sentence she wrote.

She still had much more to add to the Charms essay, but she decided to take a quick break and freshen up a bit. She packed up her materials, taking care to cap her inkpot and place it gently at the bottom of her bag. She waited for the ink to dry on her parchment and rolled it up in one swift motion. She tucked the roll into a small space and lifted the bag onto her shoulder.

Lily was just about to enter the loo when she heard voices from inside. On any other day, this wouldn't have bothered her, but she stopped short when she realized they were talking about _her._

"Did you hear what Lily Evans did today?" began one voice, light and nasally.

"No! What?" asked the other girl in a higher-pitched voice.

"She didn't even go to James' Quidditch match. She just sat in the library all day or something like that."

"She didn't!"

"She did!"

"Her boyfriend is _James Potter... the_ James Potter. Does she realize that?"

"I never liked her."

"If I were James Potter's girlfriend, I would at least have the decency to support him during Quidditch matches.

"Well, she _is_ muggle-born. Maybe something didn't click for her when she got to Hogwarts. James lives and breathes Quidditch. It's a shame she hasn't picked up on that."

Heart pounding in her chest, Lily straightened her shoulders and marched confidently into the bathroom. The two girls were standing in front of the sinks, facing the mirror. One of the girls caught Lily's eye in the reflection and gasped, whirling around. The other girl followed her action, her hand flying to her mouth.

"If you have something to say to me," Lily began, voice sharp, "I suggest you say it to my face."

One girl recovered quickly, pasting a fake smile—that looked more like a grimace—onto her face. "Oh, hey, Evans! It's so good to see you! You're so lucky that James Potter is your boyfriend! He's such an amazing Quidditch player. But, I'm sure you know all about that."

"Actually, no," replied Lily, hanging her bag on one of the hooks, "I'm not a big fan of Quidditch. I've always preferred to focus on the way he decides to help others and how he's loyal to the people he believes in. I notice that more than his sporting ability."

The girl looked like she had just sucked a lemon. Lily continued, "But, I'm glad someone else noticed it. Thanks for your feedback, I'll be sure to pass it onto him." 

She walked past the two girls, her head held high and made her way to the stalls. Once she was sure the two girls had left the restroom (whispering incessantly amongst themselves), she allowed herself to release the breath she had been holding. She sat on the toilet, holding her head between her hands as she replayed the conversation in her head.

 _Should I have gone to the match? Does it make me a bad girlfriend that I didn't?_ she wondered.

She tried her hardest to think back to earlier that morning when she had left James after breakfast. Had he seemed angry at her for not coming to the match? She genuinely couldn't remember, and a sharp pain was beginning to take form behind her eyes. She swallowed thickly, feeling the familiar prickle of tears behind her eyes.

But, no. Lily wasn't going to cry. Not at something so petty. She forced herself to take deep, calming breaths, finding comfort in the steady rise and fall of her chest. 

James knew Lily didn't like Quidditch. He wouldn't force her to go to a match if she wouldn't enjoy it, right? Then again, James _loved_ Quidditch. Wasn't it expected that Lily play the role of the dutiful girlfriend and cheer him on? 

Lily could care less about what the rest of the Hogwarts population thought. She wanted to know what James thought. Did he hate her for staying holed up in the library all day? He had never mentioned his match... or had he, and she just wasn't paying attention? She let out a frustrated groan and grabbed at her hair. A few red tendrils broke free and floated down to the tiled floor.

She stared at the crimson strands. This was pathetic. She was Head Girl. She would do the mature thing and just ask James what he thought. He would give her a straight answer. Lily just didn't want to break the trust that was forming between the two of them. She didn't realize there was so much expected of her as James' girlfriend. However, there was no use in thinking about it right now. She would only get the answers she wanted from James himself.

She straightened up, smoothing down her skirt. She opened the door to the stall, thankful that no one else had entered the loo. 

When she walked towards the mirror, she noticed her face was all red and splotchy, having lost its usual colour. Her hair was coming out of its tie, hanging limply around her face. She was wringing her hands, her white shirt a bit crumpled.

She shook out her hair and tied it into a neater ponytail. She turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water onto her face. The refreshing coolness allowed her a moment to close her eyes and breathe. She opened her eyes after a moment and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes had become a dull jade colour, and her face still looked ashen. Lily pulled up her lips in a semblance of her smile and hoped that would be enough.

She removed her sack from the hook and hiked it onto her shoulder. She ran a tired hand over her face, but still held her head high as she exited the bathroom. 

She didn't want to think about James, or Quidditch, or those two simpering girls in the loo. 

More than anything, she had a Charms essay to finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to my queen Lily Evans!
> 
> The quality I most admire about Lily is her determination and strength, so hopefully I've detailed that here.
> 
> If you liked it, please comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @rainasteele for more updates.


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